feeling really guilty

So yesterday I was talking to one of my BMs and she was telling me the BP wanted to do something for my Bachelorette party like get t-shirts or something like that to make it 'fun', well I dont want any of that stuff because its not just my bachelorette party but a joint party weekend for FH and I and I dont want anything done to be exclusive like a girls only thing. I dont want to wear anything or draw attention to the girls. The boys side of things is not like us girls so it would really be unballanced and make it more like a bachelorette party instead of a a group thing. The whole group atmosphere is very important to me, thats what FH and I want and thats why he and i planned it instead of it being planned by our BPs. So I got rather harsh yesterday with the BM and i feel really bad about it and have apologized on her voice mail and AIM, but i am stressing because I dont know if she just isn't around or if she is mad at me. And I didn't mean to be harsh but it was hot and i was on the way tot he dentist and it just felt like she wasn't understanding that i dont want anything. I offered a compromise to her that I will wear a tshirt or something like that for my shower in September but that in two weeks i didn't want it to be more than girly. Do you think thats ok? I rarely blow up and then I feel like I am being a horrible Bride.

Can someone please tell me the same sort of blow ups happen to them and that they get forgiven.

Thanks.

I haven't had any blow ups yet but I can completely understand where you are coming from. I have made it clear to my BM's that there is to be now mini penis' hanging from a veil or falic shaped cake, ect at the bach-party..it's not my thing.

I did send out what I think maybe my first bridezilla email this morning about dresses, shoes, ect . I felt like an evil dictator and really crappy so I called FSIL and MOH asking them if I was being a diva b eotch. They both teased me about it but said it was cool.

I'm sure your BM is fine and probably just away from her desk. Don't stress!

I'm sure she wasn't suggesting t-shirts as a way to ruin the night but for something cute...IMHO, I don't think you had to even be harsh to her. She was probably just trying to make it special for you. Maybe have you and the groom wear bride/groom shirts or something this way your one group and not seperated by your shirts.

We all wore black tanks for my sisters party with a ribbon tied on the shoulder, maybe suggest that. Something small that doesn't draw attention.

I can relate, Im having a Jack & Jill one too,,

I am not into the penis in your face , on your veil, or cake thing either.

& Im not really wanting to wear any kinda sash , basball hat or tee shirt drawing attention to the act that im the Bride.. Its cute for some girls , but im not that cutsey..

anyways , with me & my moh, she is married so it kinda came easier for her to understand, & plus Im a lil older so the whol chip n dale themed bach party isnt for me,,

is anyone married, or older where u can use that as an excuse,, ?

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Posted by DNicholes

I'm sure she wasn't suggesting t-shirts as a way to ruin the night but for something cute...IMHO, I don't think you had to even be harsh to her. She was probably just trying to make it special for you. Maybe have you and the groom wear bride/groom shirts or something this way your one group and not seperated by your shirts.

We all wore black tanks for my sisters party with a ribbon tied on the shoulder, maybe suggest that. Something small that doesn't draw attention.

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I know she was just suggesting a way to be cute but when I asked her about it just being the bridal party and not inclusive of the guys who would be there she was like so...and i just didn't want the girls to be doing something seperate, which is why i suggested doing something like that for the shower when it really will be just us girls, it was also hot and i am having issues with my wisdom tooth so all things came out wrong, which is why i am feeling bad for being nasty. If the conversation would have happened today and not yesterday it would have come out differently.

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Posted by tonimike

I can relate, Im having a Jack & Jill one too,,

I am not into the penis in your face , on your veil, or cake thing either.

& Im not really wanting to wear any kinda sash , basball hat or tee shirt drawing attention to the act that im the Bride.. Its cute for some girls , but im not that cutsey..

anyways , with me & my moh, she is married so it kinda came easier for her to understand, & plus Im a lil older so the whol chip n dale themed bach party isnt for me,,

is anyone married, or older where u can use that as an excuse,, ?

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My MOH is totally understanding my POV, which is great, I am just not into all that crazy wacky make a scene because someone is getting married type of thing, we are doing a wine tour and I just want to be chill and have fun and drink good wine.

Well if you explained that to her.....I think as a bridesmaid she will def. just brush it off but just let her know that you were attacking her idea you were just having a bad day.

As just recently being in two back to back weddings, I feel for bridesmaids at this particular moment in time.(haha) . I've made it a mission to try not to have bridezilla moments b/c there is nothing worse then being attacked by the bride over something so small. In the end it all works out, I'm sure she's already forgotten about it.

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Posted by DNicholes

Well if you explained that to her.....I think as a bridesmaid she will def. just brush it off but just let her know that you were attacking her idea you were just having a bad day.

As just recently being in two back to back weddings, I feel for bridesmaids at this particular moment in time.(haha) . I've made it a mission to try not to have bridezilla moments b/c there is nothing worse then being attacked by the bride over something so small. In the end it all works out, I'm sure she's already forgotten about it.

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Yup, I have left her a voice mail and some instant messages apologizing for how I acted yesterday. Its been my mission to not have bridezilla moments either and somehow this just sort of happened. I so dont want to be that evil bride...