Feeling sad - father of the bride update - kinda long

I'm not sure if you girls remember but I was having trouble deciding if my usually absent father should walk me down the aisle and in the midst of deciding, my brother (who is loyal to dad) threatened to pull his two children out of my wedding. I'm very close to my niece (she's 11 and would be so crazy happy to be in the wedding) and his son who would be the ring-bearer and it breaks my heart. Neither dad nor bro would return my calls (they live upstate) and I needed to order tuxes, jr bridesmaid dress, flowers, etc. so I took a stand and sent them both certified letters. The letters explained that I would love for both of them to be a part of my wedding but that I won't be having the dad walk me down the aisle..if they are OK with this, I needed to know by June 10 (tomorrow!!). If I don't hear from them by 6/10, i would assume they want nothing to do with the special day and I will plan accordingly. I sent the letters two weeks ago - bro still hasn't even accepted the letter (TG for USPS online!), and dad called to tell me to 'Think harder about my choice'. He even had the audacity to ask me, 'So, this is all about you then?' Isn't this my WEDDING?
I know I took a stand and I know I needed to do it, and I also know my wedding will be calmer and more peaceful without them there, but I guess I just figured I could change their minds. a couple of months ago I wouldn't have even invited my father, but I've had a change of heart lately. I thought I could have the fantasy dad. Sorry for the ramble...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. It sounds like you made the best decision for yourself and you should be happy about that! Good luck with everything!

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's sad to say, but sometimes weddings can really show you who is there for you and who is not. Good for you for standing up for yourself...It's YOUR wedding!!! If they don't come, it will certainly be their loss.

You made a stand and it's not like you didn't try! This is YOUR wedding and you must decide what is best for you!! They're going to be the ones who 10-20 years from now will feel guilty for the way they treated you during the most special time in your life! This is your time to be in the limelight and to have every dream come true! It's their loss for not wanting to be part of it! Just remember that!!

You did the hard but right thing. This is going to be your day and you have to be happy with the choices you make. Sounds like you made a hard choice but sounds like the right one.

Hopefully your dad will take his own advice and 'think hard about' what he is doing.

Rambling is what we are here for, ramble on anytime you need to. Keep your chin up, sometimes things happen for a reason beyond our control

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Posted by EmberLynn

I'm sorry! From what I'm reading their both being very selfish!

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I agree.

OK, he decided he's not coming to the wedding. He even said I should refer to him by his first name only and he's not my father anymore. Told me to have a nice life.
What a HORRIBLE person.
While I am sad right now, I know that this will be for the better. FH and I can celebrate our wonderful day surrounded by those who truly love us and are honestly happy for us. This removes the drama that I wanted to avoid by inviting him, but it kills the little girl's dream of having her daddy be there.
Thanks so much for all your supportive words. I really appreciate them...

I feel so bad for you having to go through this while planning the happiest day of your life, my thoughts are with you

I am so sorry I can totally see where youa re coming from though.