Feelings towards guests....

Coming to the reception, but not the ceremony.

I was talking to my mom the other day about the wedding and I had said that I was going to write the time before the actual ceremony start (ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception are all in the same place) to make sure people got there on time and the place also serves champagne, danishes and cookies, 1/2 hour prior to the ceremony. I think telling her that was a mistake though. Now she wants to tell her friends that they don't have to arrive at the time on the invites. She thinks making people wait is ridiculous, but I really don't want people walking down the aisle to find a seat when my BMs or I are walking down the aisle for the ceremony. Also, she said with that earlier time, people who don't attend the ceremony, may come early (part way into the ceremony) thinking the cocktail hour is starting...any opinions???

Here's an example:

5:00 written on invite and they will be served champagne, danishes, etc.
5:30: ceremony begins
6:00 cocktail hour begins
7:00 reception begins

TIA

They're not going to be sitting around silently with their hands in their laps. They'll be socializing and looking around at the things you have out for them to look at! Some will try to find their table cards, others will use the facilities. If you have a digital frame of pics of you and your FH, they'll be viewing those. They'll have some coffee and a danish, etc. They're not 'waiting' -- they're prepping for the celebration!!!!

I agree 100% with the timeline you're putting on your invites. It's exactly what we're doing (or have done, I suppose, since our invites are back already) and it's one thing I'm completely confident about.

I don't know why your mom thinks 30 minutes is an eternity. It's totally fine.

Ugh, if it was socially acceptable, I'd have FH's little cousins at the door of the church handing out wristbands or stamping hands, so I could check every last person at the reception to see if they actually cared about me and FH getting married, or they were just interested in the free party. Pisses the both of us off to NO end. I was mortified that I may not have been able to get off for FH's cousin's ceremony because it's a Friday, but luckily it appears that I should be good with that now.

If you want to ensure everyone is there for the ceremony, write 5:00, and put your foot down with your mom that it is extremely rude to tell people to come later and have them traipsing about your ceremony after it has started.

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Posted by coldasice217

Ugh, if it was socially acceptable, I'd have FH's little cousins at the door of the church handing out wristbands or stamping hands, so I could check every last person at the reception to see if they actually cared about me and FH getting married, or they were just interested in the free party. Pisses the both of us off to NO end. I was mortified that I may not have been able to get off for FH's cousin's ceremony because it's a Friday, but luckily it appears that I should be good with that now.

If you want to ensure everyone is there for the ceremony, write 5:00, and put your foot down with your mom that it is extremely rude to tell people to come later and have them traipsing about your ceremony after it has started.

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I hear you, I have a 3 hour gap so I know a TON of people will skip the church. It makes me so mad because that is the important part, the actual marriage.

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Posted by MLAngelo

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Posted by coldasice217

Ugh, if it was socially acceptable, I'd have FH's little cousins at the door of the church handing out wristbands or stamping hands, so I could check every last person at the reception to see if they actually cared about me and FH getting married, or they were just interested in the free party. Pisses the both of us off to NO end. I was mortified that I may not have been able to get off for FH's cousin's ceremony because it's a Friday, but luckily it appears that I should be good with that now.

If you want to ensure everyone is there for the ceremony, write 5:00, and put your foot down with your mom that it is extremely rude to tell people to come later and have them traipsing about your ceremony after it has started.

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I hear you, I have a 3 hour gap so I know a TON of people will skip the church. It makes me so mad because that is the important part, the actual marriage.

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I completely agree thats why i was so adamant about getting married on Saturday, so that the ceremony would not conflict with work.

I hope many attend the ceremony. Yes, it's in a church and yes, we'll have a 2 hour gap but like someone mentioned, that is the purpose of the whole day. The actual marriage! It's not even going to be a Mass so it shouldn't be too bad for the non-Catholics. I know for some just the thought of sitting in church bores them. But can't they do it for us?!!

For those having a ceremony at the RH, I like the idea of a half hour before the ceremony for arrivals.

I hate to play the devil's advocate but I'm in the school of people who thinks the time on the invitation should be the actual start time of the ceremony. I would want to be told the time the wedding is slated to start, and not a half hour before. But then again, I'm the type of person who hates to be late to anything. At the same time, you'll have those people who are early to everything and then they're forced to sit around extra time, even if they are serving drinks and refreshments.

ETA: I wouldn't like people coming to the reception but not the ceremony. That's the reason you're there, right? To see the couple get married, and not just for the party. I gave the actual time and all but one couple made it there on time. But I would have to respect someone's decision if they chose not to come to the ceremony for whatever reason.

I had a 2 hour gap between ceremony and cocktail hour/reception (and everything was at the same location) and we had many people just come to the cocktail hour/reception.

We knew that was going to happen but it was still disappointing since so much time and effort (and money!) went into the ceremony part.

Fh cousin did this... they wrote something like

5:30-6 champange reception
6-6:30 ceremony
6-7 cocktail
7-12 Reception

something like that and it was far for everyone so I think she wanted to have everyone on time when she walked down the aisle .. .she had mostly everyone there by the start of the ceremony

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Posted by LuvMyHunk

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Posted by MLAngelo

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Posted by coldasice217

Ugh, if it was socially acceptable, I'd have FH's little cousins at the door of the church handing out wristbands or stamping hands, so I could check every last person at the reception to see if they actually cared about me and FH getting married, or they were just interested in the free party. Pisses the both of us off to NO end. I was mortified that I may not have been able to get off for FH's cousin's ceremony because it's a Friday, but luckily it appears that I should be good with that now.

If you want to ensure everyone is there for the ceremony, write 5:00, and put your foot down with your mom that it is extremely rude to tell people to come later and have them traipsing about your ceremony after it has started.

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I hear you, I have a 3 hour gap so I know a TON of people will skip the church. It makes me so mad because that is the important part, the actual marriage.

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I completely agree thats why i was so adamant about getting married on Saturday, so that the ceremony would not conflict with work.

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Unfortunately poeple will use any excuse to skip the church, esp on a saturday ... I think its sad because thats the acutal point of even having a reception, but at the end of day I dont care if only family shows up to the ceremony.. I want people who love us and want to be there to see us get married.

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Posted by littlepixie12

Fh cousin did this... they wrote something like

5:30-6 champange reception
6-6:30 ceremony
6-7 cocktail
7-12 Reception

something like that and it was far for everyone so I think she wanted to have everyone on time when she walked down the aisle .. .she had mostly everyone there by the start of the ceremony

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As in Joey Fatone

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

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Posted by littlepixie12

Fh cousin did this... they wrote something like

5:30-6 champange reception
6-6:30 ceremony
6-7 cocktail
7-12 Reception

something like that and it was far for everyone so I think she wanted to have everyone on time when she walked down the aisle .. .she had mostly everyone there by the start of the ceremony

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As in Joey Fatone

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Yes that FH cousin! He hates to admit it though