FFIL rant

Sorry in advance for the long rant...

So FFIL just walked into my apartment, unannounced, WITHOUT knocking. And after that he told me that I had to take him to the bank. I said no and explained that I'm in the middle of cleaning, I have to go to work in 2 hours, and I'm waiting for someone to come and drop something off for FH. He didn't like this answer and started badgering me about it. I stuck to my guns and said no, and as he was leaving I got the 'I'll remember this...'

He acts like I never help out. Never mind this is the first time I've said no - I go out of my way to help him and to do thing. I take him all over creation to run errands that take far longer than they should (he doesn't like to tell you what all needs to happen when you start out on errands), I have completely cleaned up the backyard and made it usable (and I maintain and take care of the garden), I help clean in general, I clear snow at all the houses (rental properties too), and he acts like I'm denying him all the time. ***?!?!?!?! I'm sorry, but I can't just put my life on hold and drop everything I'm doing just because he doesn't have his act together. You're in the middle of NYC, USE PUBLIC TRANSIT IF YOU CAN'T WALK!!! All he does is sit around all day (retired), why must he leave things until the last minute and expect everyone to cater to his every whim.

And now I feel horribly guilty for saying no.

End rant....thanks for reading.

don't feel guilty. you deserve some 'you' time. he needs to understand that you are not his maid/servant. you have your own life and he needs to be respectful of that.

he has no right to demand you to always help him out.

this will all blow over soon. no worries.

don't take this the wrong way, but honestly, if you can...MOVE.

I have seen so many relationships ruined by living w inlaws. It just causes stress between couples and hurt feelings all around.

he has a hell of a nerve walking in, invading your privacy and demanding you take him somewhere. Can you have your FH put his foot down and tell him to back off? That threat was uncalled for.

We have our own apartment, just is in the same building....and I definitely want to move asap. So definitely not taken the wrong way about moving....FH & I have been talking about it for a while now.

And FH is going to put his foot down....again....we keep telling him this $#&@ has to stop.

dont feel guilty. You seem to do plenty for him. You leave and then the person comes to drop stuff off for FH and youre not there would be bad.


I say get a reallllly good lock for that door!

That is incredibly ballsy and irritating! You FFIL seems too comfortable for his own good.

Next time he says 'I'll remember this'

Fire back 'I'll remember to lock the door!'

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Posted by The Cassie

dont feel guilty. You seem to do plenty for him. You leave and then the person comes to drop stuff off for FH and youre not there would be bad.


I say get a reallllly good lock for that door!

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and a REALLY big dog! lol

that's just not right that he walks in announced... you two should be to have your privacy and do your own thing without having to worry about someone barging into your personal space and telling you you have to do this and that and stop what your doing immediately. If it were a siuation where the father was ill and you took him into your home to care for him, then I can see how you would be obligated to help him out occassionally, but not when he's in perfect health, capable of doing things himself and just happens to live in the same building as you.

I'm proud of you that you put your foot down and FH should definitely have a discussion with him ASAP.

yea-don't feel guilty!! This is your down time before you have to go to work for XX amount hours. It's good that you put your foot down; because this might prevent further similar scenes in the future!

It's also bad that he just walked right in un announced! Maybe had he called & asked nicely you could have tried; but the whole way he handled the situation left a stale taste in my mouth!

We have a dog...unfortunately he's the worlds worst guard dog (jack russell who's insanely friendly).

And he's not in perfect health, but he's not as bad as he acts (was just diagnosed with Parkinsons, but the meds are working at this point), he had PT last night and is just sore from it, therefore he has something to complain about. But pre-diagnosis and as long as I've known him this has been the normal routine, so it can't be blamed on illness.

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Posted by The Cassie

maybe start walking around your apartment naked. that when once he walks in on that he wont walk in anymore wihtout knocking lol

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That's the most creative solution yet...

FH just called - he talked to FFIL so he won't be bothering me again like that (in theory). Yay! Some resolution....now if only my back would stop hurting (just pulled it while cleaning...owie).

how did he just walk in? does he have a key or did you l eave your door unlocked?

if its the latter, then you should really lock your doors. and if its the former - change the locks!

is there no one else who can help him with his errands? does your FH have siblings? if so, they should be made to help!

1st a scolding for you
LOCK YOUR DOOR!!! thank god it was your FFIL and not some crazy rapist! **hugs** be safe

2nd - you had every right to be annoyed and have every right to say No

3rd- the FH should def address this with his dad, unacceptable! you are not a taxi- and a favor is just that - a favor -not a guilt riddled obligation!

shame on the FFIL - is there a FMIL you could speak to?
teach him some manners...

sorry you are going through this... inlaws can be tough - ..we all know....