FFIL stress!!!

Did anyone else have a ffil or fmil who made surprise decisions for them??

We had been going back and forth about this dj nonsense...and we got an email today saying we're booked because FFIL went ahead and did it! He said it was because we were taking too long to make a decision and our idea was silly anyway

FH & I are...taken aback to say the least, I don't know what to do!

are they paying for it? if they are paying for it, and you've narrowed it down to two, i'd say they have teh 'final' say but should still take your opinions into account

sorry this happened to you

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Posted by leesah85

are they paying for it? if they are paying for it, and you've narrowed it down to two, i'd say they have teh 'final' say but should still take your opinions into account

sorry this happened to you

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No, my parents are paying for the wedding, but we hadn't narrowed down it down to two DJs. our plan was to handle the music stuff on our own, with pro friends and family, with playlists cerated by us, etc.

We had happened to come across a fairly low priced dj quote and told our families about it - so FFIL went ahead and booked them even though we really didn't want the dj.

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Posted by futuremorasse

Just WoW! That is totally uncalled for. I would defiantly confront him about it and decide if u want to keep who he booked or change it. If he has a loss of money from the situation its his own fault.

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It's going to be on FH - his dad does stuff like this alllllllll the time because he thinks he knows everything, and Kevin usually smiles and nods because he doesn't want to be 'rude'

I would not be happy if someone made decisionts for me and FI.

Taking too long? Your wedding is almost 2 years away.

I wouldn't know what to say but.. Thank you? It's a little rude to say your idea was silly but I guess he just wanted to help out. The thought was very very nice but he should have consulted you guys first. He just went about it the wrong way.

At least it will take pressure off your brother too?

Think positive! This could be a really good thing if music wasn't your top priority and you won't have to pay for it now?!

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Posted by PSP

I would not be happy if someone made decisionts for me and FI.

Taking too long? You're wedding is almost 2 years away.

I wouldn't know what to say but.. Thank you? It's a little rude to say your idea was silly but I guess he just wanted to help out. The thought was very very nice but he should have consulted you guys first. He just went about it the wrong way.

At least it will take pressure off your brother too?

Think positive! This could be a really good thing if music wasn't your top priority and you won't have to pay for it now?!

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yeah...i don't know :(

this was something my brother was looking forward to, and after the food music kind of WAS our top priority because we're very choosy about what we like.

I'm annoyed, because like you said, it wasn't something we needed to rush at all. Plus, I really don't want to explain this to my parents because they're the ones who are paying for everything and I don't want them to think we purposely asked his dad for money or something.

he's a very pushy FFIL. it makes me appreciate FH soooooooooo much more because he's not like his dad at all.

Well its great that you are not allowing it to affect you and your fh. I have had situations between both our parents that have caused friction between my fh and I.

That is out of line and I think you need to put him in his place. If he is doing this now and your wedding isn't for two years think of all the other things he can and probably will do! Maybe your fh can have a talk with him privately. Telling him that he was out of line, that its you and his wedding and what you two had decided on, and that hes not paying for it that its rude. That's crazy! Maybe you shouldn't tell him of things you plan or considering to plan so he does not have the opportunities to do this again!

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Posted by Bride2012

Well its great that you are not allowing it to affect you and your fh. I have had situations between both our parents that have caused friction between my fh and I.

That is out of line and I think you need to put him in his place. If he is doing this now and your wedding isn't for two years think of all the other things he can and probably will do! Maybe your fh can have a talk with him privately. Telling him that he was out of line, that its you and his wedding and what you two had decided on, and that hes not paying for it that its rude. That's crazy! Maybe you shouldn't tell him of things you plan or considering to plan so he does not have the opportunities to do this again!

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There have definitely been times where things he's done caused friction, but over the last three years and after countless convos FH has had with his dad, we know this is just how he's going to be.

Luckily, most of our major decisions are done, but anything else -- we'll keep our mouths shut

He can be a really great FFIL, though, I don't want to not give him any credit. This just made me see red

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Posted by teacherteacher

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Posted by PSP

I would not be happy if someone made decisionts for me and FI.

Taking too long? You're wedding is almost 2 years away.

I wouldn't know what to say but.. Thank you? It's a little rude to say your idea was silly but I guess he just wanted to help out. The thought was very very nice but he should have consulted you guys first. He just went about it the wrong way.

At least it will take pressure off your brother too?

Think positive! This could be a really good thing if music wasn't your top priority and you won't have to pay for it now?!

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yeah...i don't know :(

this was something my brother was looking forward to, and after the food music kind of WAS our top priority because we're very choosy about what we like.

I'm annoyed, because like you said, it wasn't something we needed to rush at all. Plus, I really don't want to explain this to my parents because they're the ones who are paying for everything and I don't want them to think we purposely asked his dad for money or something.

he's a very pushy FFIL. it makes me appreciate FH soooooooooo much more because he's not like his dad at all.

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Sorry for this un-needed stress.

thanks...FH is going to talk to him later after work, just a lot of nonsense going on lately and this was the icing on the cake.

now I really do have to research this company more - I know they get great reviews, but if they won't play all the stuff we want I'm going to be sad...and more annoyed lol

Wow... I would totally just tell him thanks but no thanks.. This is YOUR wedding not his. If it was me I would just tell him that you and your FH were just taking your time with the decision and that its your decision to make. He was WAY out of line by doing that. I would cancell who he booked and continue your discussions with FH and pick what you guys want... Sorry that you have to deal with this

Ahhhh that sucksss
What DJ? Maybe it's someone good and you can look at them very seriously and say they HAVE to play the music you like.
I would freak out though... that is so crazy, you cannot surprise someone with something like that!! He should have let you pick at least and offer to pay!!

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Posted by Shanti12

Ahhhh that sucksss
What DJ? Maybe it's someone good and you can look at them very seriously and say they HAVE to play the music you like.
I would freak out though... that is so crazy, you cannot surprise someone with something like that!! He should have let you pick at least and offer to pay!!

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It's After Hours. FH is currently at his parents' talking to his dad, and I spoke to AH. They seemed really helpful, assured me they would work with whatever music we wanted, but I'm still bummed it went like this.

I'm sure FH is doing his best to talk to his dad about not keeping them, but knowing how softhearted FH is vs. how obstinate his dad is, plus there's money already sunk...I guess we have a dj

I would tell your FFIL to cancel!!! You're only doing this once and you want everything to go as YOU want - not other people. That's what I would do. I'd say well I didn't tell you to book them so we won't be using their services. LOL Tough luck for him!