FH and I...

lmr2282 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 09:05 AM

FH and I...

We have been fighting so much lately. It is starting to get out of control! He is a carpenter and cannot find work, I am going back to school and working and we are just not getting along lately. My sister says, thats not good. I don't even want to plan my wedding anymore..

DonnaPWhite1124 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 09:08 AM

Re: FH and I...

Sorry you are goign through this. Its happened to many people. I've been there. Your sister is just looking out for you...but this too shall pass. Hang in.

ajlgmm815 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 09:13 AM

Re: FH and I...

me and Fh went throught this!! seriously if you guys work through it, it actually makes you closer because if you can make it through the bad times you know you can make it! and may be take some time apart, not move just do things out of the house because when you are close more topics to fight about . HTH

Forum mail me if you need to vent!

allegracristina Posted: Apr 30, 2009 09:14 AM

Re: FH and I...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. FH is a carpenter also and has been out of work for almost 5 months. He just found work and started today-a hard labor job, digging holes. Best he can find, no carpentry work at all. Has your FH been looking at Craigslist or anything trying to find work? You guys should really talk this through and figure out if you both want to make it work. I hope you do, I'm sure you both love each other very much. I know these are hard times, but I know you can get through this.

Jennmolloy Posted: Apr 30, 2009 09:15 AM

Re: FH and I...

FH and I have gone through this as well. IMO I would not give up on anything. Just take a deep breath and look at the big picture that you love FH and want nothing more than to spend the rest of your life together. I agree with Donna your sister is looking out for you, however people argue and disagree it is part of nature.

bag19 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 09:32 AM

Re: FH and I...

I can totally relate! FH and I seem to be at each others throats on a daily basis! I was worried too, but my mom told me that her and my dad were THIS CLOSE to breaking up right before their wedding. I honestly based all of my expectations and ideas about married life on my parents who have been very very happily married for 27 years. I think this is normal with all that is going on right now (your FH looking for work, going back to school, planning a wedding - which many people, my FH included, don't realize is VERY stressful!!!). I look at it like this: I consider FH one of my best friends and who do you turn to or vent at or b!tch at when times are tough? your friends! Maybe just have a calm talk and point out that you're feeling this way. Take a step back or a break from planning and focus on why you got engaged in the first place. Maybe go out on a date with FH and promise each other that you wont talk about work, school or the wedding. Hang in there!!!

MrsJuneB2B Posted: Apr 30, 2009 09:49 AM

Re: FH and I...

ugh, i hear you. money/work/etc stress can put a lot of strain on a relationship. it'll pass, just work hard at seeing where each other is coming from. it's not easy, but it does happen. i'm sorry though. that's very hard to go through!

littlepixie12 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 09:49 AM

Re: FH and I...

OH im so sorry sweetie! Its the stress of him not working and you are doing double time with work and school... try not to stress out .. it will all work out

Margarita Posted: Apr 30, 2009 10:06 AM

Re: FH and I...

Aww, don't worry, it will get better! Just remember the reasons you love each other and want to get married. We've had rough patches too but these things go in waves. I'm sure things will be a lot easier once he gets a job and after all the wedding stress is over!

lmr2282 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 10:10 AM

Re: FH and I...

Posted by allegracristina

I'm so sorry you're going through this. FH is a carpenter also and has been out of work for almost 5 months. He just found work and started today-a hard labor job, digging holes. Best he can find, no carpentry work at all. Has your FH been looking at Craigslist or anything trying to find work? You guys should really talk this through and figure out if you both want to make it work. I hope you do, I'm sure you both love each other very much. I know these are hard times, but I know you can get through this.

I have been looking everywhere for him, there are things posted it's just that no one calls back! It is putting such a strain on us.

lmr2282 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 10:12 AM

Re: FH and I...

Thanks girls, I really appreciate it.

RadiantBride Posted: Apr 30, 2009 10:15 AM

Re: FH and I...

I think this is normal. You are both going through a lot of stresses and unfortunately are taking it out on each other. Have a nice quiet dinner and just reminisce about the great things in your relationship. Pick and choose your battles.

Good luck

lmr2282 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 10:17 AM

Re: FH and I...

To top it all off.. We are living with my parents until we can get on our feet. I really don't want to be married and still living at home. I mean I love my parents but come on now! I am just so tired of it all.

Juhgail Posted: Apr 30, 2009 10:21 AM

Re: FH and I...

Just take a breath and a step back.

You guys should really sit down and talk about what you are feeling. The fighting is about being scared. Trust eachother and open dialogue.

It will work out.

debzy Posted: Apr 30, 2009 11:00 AM

Re: FH and I...

This is completely normal!!!

FH was out of work for a while. He finally got something in February, but the few months before that, things started to get really heated between us. It's normal! What is most imporant is how you work through these issues. FH and I learned to talk more openly about what was bothering us. And I can definitely say now that we are a stronger couple.

You are going to have many, many stressful times in your relationship. You have to learn from each one, and figure out how to grow from them.

Good luck, and please try talking to your FH about this.

las1 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 11:34 AM

Re: FH and I...

I am sorry. I can definitely relate to your situation. Money issues definitely cause a lot of problems and issues, but things will work out. Also, wedding planning causes a ton of stress. My friend warned me that the wedding planning process was stressful and she was right! I hope things work out for you.

gina409 Posted: Apr 30, 2009 12:28 PM

Re: FH and I...

im so sorry u guys r having a rough patch...just remeber everyone goes through it n planning a wedding on top of everything does not help..im sure u guys will work it all out...hope u feel better