So I'm about to send out my STDs and FH and I don't aggree about how to address them. I think that we need to address them as:
Mr. & Mrs. Frank Smith 1271 64th Street New York, NY 11111
He thinks that if he only knows the female but she's married that we could address it as: (I don't agree with this since it disregards the husband)
Sandy Smith 1271 64th Street New York, NY 11111
Can the STDs be less formal? When it comes to the invite, do I need to be as formal as the first example or can I just address as Mr. & Mrs.?
I hate invites! Pulling my hair out now.
Jen2999
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
The husband should def be included IMO....
Then it is like she is the only one invited
cmastro25
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
I know. I don't understand him. But can I just go with Mr. & Mrs. without including husband's name? Or do I have to be ultra formal?
I need to go buy a book or something. I am so stupid when it comes to invitation etiquette.
Jen2999
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
I didnt do husbands names
I just did
Mr and Mrs Smith
and for singles I did
Mr. Smith or Ms. Johnson
lauren09
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
i am in the process of addressing my STD's now too. i went with your way (mr and mrs ....) if they are married. if not married, i did not write 'and guest,' i just wrote the name of the one person.
i asked this question the other day because i also had no idea what to do, and the consensus was that they can be less formal than the actual invites.
cmastro25
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
Posted by lauren09
i am in the process of addressing my STD's now too. i went with your way (mr and mrs ....) if they are married. if not married, i did not write 'and guest,' i just wrote the name of the one person.
i asked this question the other day because i also had no idea what to do, and the consensus was that they can be less formal than the actual invites.
Yeah, I guess I'll go less informal for STDs and then when I do the invitations, I'll decide what to do then.
I just need to get these STDs out now. (I've had them for 3 weeks now...yikes!)
Soon2beMrs.D
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
I am about to send my STD magnets out and I personally think that you should definitely say Mr. and Mrs. because that it just the right thing to do if they are married, but as far as adding his name...I don't think that you HAVE to be that formal, but again it is the 'proper' way of addressing anything like this. My FMIL is crazy about stuff like this so of course I went the more formal route, GOOD LUCK
Kris516
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
IMO, you definitely need to address them as Mr and Mrs. You can drop the male's 1st name to make it easier since STDs are not so formal, but they are a married couple. Unless it was a birthday card, anything else is kind of rude. It's like somone sending an STD or even a xmas card to you after you're married and not your hubby.
EmberLynn
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
I'm addressing my invites like this
Mr. John & Mrs. Mary Smith 123 Brown Lane Coram NY, 11727
08/06
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
OK- how about this...not married but living together and you know one through the other? I put both names, I was worried I'd offend someone, what would you do?
cmastro25
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
I actually only have that on one invite so I wrote both names out.
Mrs.A2006
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
Posted by 08/06
OK- how about this...not married but living together and you know one through the other? I put both names, I was worried I'd offend someone, what would you do?
If they live together and not married I wrote:
Ms. Jane Doe Mr. John Smith 123 Anyroad Way Sometown, NY 12345
I put my friends name first then their significant other when I sent out my STDs
HTH
Laura&Phil
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
Posted by EmberLynn
I'm addressing my invites like this
Mr. John & Mrs. Mary Smith 123 Brown Lane Coram NY, 11727
I wanted to do somthing like this but it was suggested to me by someone who helps plan weddings that if you want to include the woman's name it's better to say:
Mr. & Mrs. John and Mary Smith
After mulling it over a lot I came to agree. It's a little more wordy but doesn't split up the Mr. & Mrs. That being said, I'm going the traditional route and not having the woman's name.
As for the STD- include the 'Mr & Mrs' and it's not a bad idea to inlcude his first name. They can be less formal tho.
EmberLynn
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
Posted by Laura&Phil
Posted by EmberLynn
I'm addressing my invites like this
Mr. John & Mrs. Mary Smith 123 Brown Lane Coram NY, 11727
I wanted to do somthing like this but it was suggested to me by someone who helps plan weddings that if you want to include the woman's name it's better to say:
Mr. & Mrs. John and Mary Smith
After mulling it over a lot I came to agree. It's a little more wordy but doesn't split up the Mr. & Mrs. That being said, I'm going the traditional route and not having the woman's name.
As for the STD- include the 'Mr & Mrs' and it's not a bad idea to inlcude his first name. They can be less formal tho.
That works too. I also want to respect any married woman who kept her name. I hate it when they get letters like this To Mr and Mrs. James Smith
Blu-ize
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
You have to have Mr. & Mrs..both of them no matter what. How insulting it would be to just get something to just me or DH. This is the single person mentality. He needs to get with the program.
Have him put himself in their shoes. If you knew someone and got sent a STD to just you, would he be insulted? Betcha he would be.
lipglossjunky73
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
I havent even got that far - is there any way we can just put the last name - so...
Smith 301 E. 45th street Anywehere, NY 77777
I do have women who kept their Maiden names, plau I am having a same-sex couple - so could we do soemthing like this...
Smith/Jones etc....
Is that too informal looking?
seta
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
Posted by Jen2999
The husband should def be included IMO....
Then it is like she is the only one invited
I agree... I would be insulted if my husband received that and i was not addressed.
aliwnec10
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
I already sent out my save the dates and IMO... you should put Mr. & Mrs. Smith or Mr. & Mrs. Joe Smith. Either one is fine. But addressing it to the one person is a definite NO-NO IMO.
KvsGrl
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
For our parents friends, we addressed everyone as:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
For our friends that are married, they prefer:
John and Jane Smith
For our friends that live together, we addressed:
John Smith and Jane Doe
For singles,
Mr. John Smith
We did not invite guests on the STD.
lrs2005
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Re: FH and I don't agree... help!
If you write out The Smiths then it implies that more people than you may intend to invite to think that they will be invited. YOu can write Mr. & Mrs. Smith if you do not know the husbands first name. To omit the Mr. Smith on the STD would look as if you were not inviting him or alerting him that he would be invited to your wedding.
