FH and wedding trouble-need advice updated

StaceyWill Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:14 PM

FH and wedding trouble-need advice updated

My bro is getting married in November and I’m a BM. FH is giving me a really hard time about it. He doesn’t want to go because he feels left out. He’s going to be alone during the ceremony and prob for a little while during the CH. He’s met my extended family a couple of times and of course knows my immediate family very well (my mom, grandma and sis (who’s also a BM). Has anyone been in this situation and if so, can you offer up some advice. I keep telling him it’s only going to be for an hr or so, but he’s being a real baby about it. Any advice is appreciated.

FallBride2010 Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:16 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

FH was in the same situation when my sister got married. I dont think it was a huge deal for him since the bridal party was at the cocktail hour.

Tell him to suck it up ; )

Edited:

Also, maybe you can ask a family member to keep an eye out for him so he can sit with them while you are occupied.

AngnShaun Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:17 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

I agree with you... he's being a baby!!! i have been in that situation quite a few times... even if he didnt know anyone, i would still be annoyed that hes giving you a hard time...

MrsC2010 Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:18 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

sorry, my fh is super friendly so he makes friends wherever he goes and never gets weird about not knowing anyone.

i would be the one who was a little hesitant to go and sit alone but have done it several times when FH has been in a wedding.

its not for very long and it is your family so i def think your FH should go! it won't be that bad.

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:18 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

FH was a GM in one of his best friend's weddings and I wasn't really tight with anyone there.
I went to the church, went home to change into more 'party' attire, and went to the CH about half an hour late. Got there on my own, as FH was with the BP in the limo, naturally. Grabbed some food and a drink, made some small talk with a few people that I had met once or twice before, and then FH was done with photos and hung with me. FH and I were seated together at the reception. The key to it not being very uncomfy for me was getting to the CH a little late. I didn't miss any food, but I didn't have that whole akward wallflower feeling.

Maria5117 Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:24 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

I've been a BM in a bunch of weddings and FH has had to go alone...and a couple were before we were even serious!!!! once we walked into the reception, we were together for the rest of the night.... your FH is lucky.... you seem very patient... if it were me, this would be a huge argument.... i'd say 'you're 15 minutes away from being my husband and you don't want to go to my brother's wedding!!!!!! UNACCEPTABLE!!!!..... but that's just me!!!

Good luck!

Becca2010 Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:27 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

He needs to suck it up. This is going to be me in about 3 weeks. FH and most of his friends are in the BP for our mutual friend and I'm stuck out in left field with only a few familiar faces in the crowd. Whatever, i'll hang out with the bartender and drink!

regy_k Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:29 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

my friends husband wasnt in a BP and so wasnt I. so we just went as each others' dates: he picked me up from my house and we went to CH and hung out till the reception together
it was a lot of fun

is there anybody who ur FH is friendly with who isnt in the BP? maybe they can go together?

Junebride2010 Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:29 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

I was in this situation. FH was in the wedding. I had a great time! I hung out with who ever i kind of knew and got to know some people better. FH wasn't gone that long--I mean he was with me for most of the wedding. He definitely needs to go to your brothers wedding!

Windy Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:30 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

I was in a similar situation - except it was me being the baby!!! FH was in one of his best friend's bridal party (people that i am also friends with) and I felt completely discluded! Also - they didnt seat us together! Well after making much ado about nothing - the situation turned out fine! Once FH arrived at the RH we were together the whole time - we even moved chairs together for ourselves. I regretted making such a big deal and causing fights and stress with FH over something that was really out of his control.

Assure your FH that it will be fine - and then tell him he has no choice in the matter! (thats what my FH did and it worked lol)

GiannisWifey Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:32 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

FH was kind of in this position 3 years ago when my sis was getting married and I was her MOH. He knows my entire family so well that he didn't mind at all but even if he didn't, he goes around and randomly talks to people.

Fh is in a 'group' of 6 bf....they will always be in each others bridal party, all of them. I know once they start getting married (if they ever settle down and do), I will be left out because FH will be in the BP. I don't really mind. I will walk around and socialize and eat and mingle with anyone I know or don't know. CH is only 1 hr, its not like its the entire night!

Tell FH to just kind of socialize and have a drink and by the time he knows it, it will be time for the reception.

SoonToBMrsC Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:36 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

Yeah your FH needs a little kick in the butt lol. I have been a BM for a few friends and FH had to show up alone and be alone for a little while and that was for my friends that at the time he didn't even really know that well. But family???? ohhh no no you need to tell your FH that he is going to this wedding and if it were me I wouldn't be so nice. I would tell him straight out that if he thinks he is going to be disrespectful and not show up to MY OWN BROTHERS WEDDING well then he's got another thing coming....girlie put your foot down!! Tell him to hang out with your mom for the while that he'll be without you if he really feels that uncomfortable.

StaceyWill Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:50 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

Thanks ladies- when i get home, I'm going to lay the hammer down and see where it gets me.

Thanks again xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Dawa Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:51 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

suck it up! your family is going to be his family REALLY soon! he should be comfortable with them without you glued to his side.

christine2010 Posted: Oct 21, 2009 03:56 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

yes, FH & I have been in that situation 3 times. he would always make a comment saying how he never got to sit with me during the ceremony.

meanwhile all the other weddings we have been to, i would always go to the ceremony by myself. silly men.

he got over it.

MrsH37 Posted: Oct 21, 2009 05:34 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

What!!! I think that is silly. He should go cause it's YOUR brother......and your brother will be his brother in law in a couple of months anyway. He should suck it up

jcreilly Posted: Oct 21, 2009 05:50 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

Im sorry but it is your brothers wedding, he really should understand and stop giveing you such a hard time!

Spring143 Posted: Oct 21, 2009 05:51 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

my sisters wedding fh wasnt in the wedding party but he was made a part of it by actually walking my mother into the ceremony.
eta-since my dad was walking down with my sister (obviously)

las1 Posted: Oct 21, 2009 07:05 PM

Re: FH and wedding trouble-need advice

Posted by MrsC2010

sorry, my fh is super friendly so he makes friends wherever he goes and never gets weird about not knowing anyone.

i would be the one who was a little hesitant to go and sit alone but have done it several times when FH has been in a wedding.

its not for very long and it is your family so i def think your FH should go! it won't be that bad.

I agree. I was in the same situation when FI's brother got married. I was by myself most of the time you just find someone to talk to. It would be worse if he did not go to the wedding.