FH blew up at me last nite...

..because i spent $4 on food. (Well i really spent $11, but didnt tell him)

He said that he is struggling for the house, which the closing is early May, and all I do is spend. I was mad at first, but felt bad afterwards because sometimes I dont think and make purchases that I know he wouldn't make. I didnt really say much just went to sleep on the matter. Financial matters are a b*t&h.

Aw, it's really crummy when there's troubled waters. And finances are oftentimes the problem. It's all about self-control and thinking about the long term plan, looking towards the future for the greater things in life. I understand both your sides, but just think before you buy something how much you really need it. If you're already closing on a house put a pic of it in your wallet so when you go to spend you're reminded of what your working towards.

i hear you- alot of times i ask myself if fh would approve before i buy... not because i need permission but because often times he tells me how much little things add up- and he is right!!

i've been eating in alot lately


i know, so dramatic...

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Posted by ChristineAEid

I suggest the both of you sit down and resolve this issue. It may not seem like a big deal but can escalate, and you don't want that to happen. I'm sure you are both very honest w/each other, and I've been in this situation w/my FI, where he was questioning why my lunch is $12 everyday (b/c I work in CT!) and I stopped using our account, and use cash, and hiding it. My mother always said 'keep a little cash for yourself hidden away.'

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i think our moms are related- my mom and grandmother always said that too!

this might be a little forward, but did you also post recently that you were going on a shopping day....maybe it's just a totality of your spending that is setting him off.

I am a firm believer in fairness. Even if I have the extra $$, I try to think- would FH spend or save...we are very open about this topic because neither one of us wants the other to feel deprived while we are saving towards our goals.

Maybe you could have a weekly $20 that each of you set aside to spend however you choose. then you an spend it, or save it towards something more expensive without the guilt. Good luck.

And sorry if I overstepped any bounds.

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Posted by JessicaM.

this might be a little forward, but did you also post recently that you were going on a shopping day....maybe it's just a totality of your spending that is setting him off.

I am a firm believer in fairness. Even if I have the extra $$, I try to think- would FH spend or save...we are very open about this topic because neither one of us wants the other to feel deprived while we are saving towards our goals.

Maybe you could have a weekly $20 that each of you set aside to spend however you choose. then you an spend it, or save it towards something more expensive without the guilt. Good luck.

And sorry if I overstepped any bounds.

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NO its not a problem. I like honesty. yes i did go have a shopping day. I wound up not buying much b/c i didnt want to make FH mad. I am just a little tired of always saving. Not really used to it. Right now things are tight and every penny counts towards closing on our home. I should respect and understand that. So i think i was out of line about going to buy dinner when I we have food at home anyway.

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Posted by cantwait2bewed

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Posted by JessicaM.

this might be a little forward, but did you also post recently that you were going on a shopping day....maybe it's just a totality of your spending that is setting him off.

I am a firm believer in fairness. Even if I have the extra $$, I try to think- would FH spend or save...we are very open about this topic because neither one of us wants the other to feel deprived while we are saving towards our goals.

Maybe you could have a weekly $20 that each of you set aside to spend however you choose. then you an spend it, or save it towards something more expensive without the guilt. Good luck.

And sorry if I overstepped any bounds.

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NO its not a problem. I like honesty. yes i did go have a shopping day. I wound up not buying much b/c i didnt want to make FH mad. I am just a little tired of always saving. Not really used to it. Right now things are tight and every penny counts towards closing on our home. I should respect and understand that. So i think i was out of line about going to buy dinner when I we have food at home anyway.

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I feel your pain. really, I do. it ***** seeing all the new spring and summer clothes and not being able to indulge! but, in the end it's for a good cause- and for something that will last a lifetime!

Chin up...when you're hosting yor first dinner party in YOUR home, every penny pinched will feel SO good!

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by cantwait2bewed

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Posted by JessicaM.

this might be a little forward, but did you also post recently that you were going on a shopping day....maybe it's just a totality of your spending that is setting him off.

I am a firm believer in fairness. Even if I have the extra $$, I try to think- would FH spend or save...we are very open about this topic because neither one of us wants the other to feel deprived while we are saving towards our goals.

Maybe you could have a weekly $20 that each of you set aside to spend however you choose. then you an spend it, or save it towards something more exp
ensive without the guilt. Good luck.



And sorry if I overstepped any bounds.

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NO its not a problem. I like honesty. yes i did go have a shopping day. I wound up not buying much b/c i didnt want to make FH mad. I am just a little tired of always saving. Not really used to it. Right now things are tight and every penny counts towards closing on our home. I should respect and understand that. So i think i was out of line about going to buy dinner when I we have food at home anyway.

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I feel your pain. really, I do. it ***** seeing all the new spring and summer clothes and not being able to indulge! but, in the end it's for a good cause- and for something that will last a lifetime!

Chin up...when you're hosting yor first dinner party in YOUR home, every penny pinched will feel SO good!

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So true I am dreaming of the day when I can cook my first thanksgiving dinner on my own.

The stress is building up. It's good that you are aware but it would be better to follow your awareness rather than say, 'i know.' Why don't you just grab him and passionately kiss for a long time and afterwards say, 'sweetie, i love you, i promise to be aware of the money spending, I want the house as much as you do,...when girls are stressed...we spend...it's not to piss you off...it's to release my stress. I realize that this release sets us back so I will stop. Now kiss me again!
Sometimes instead of a sit down talk, you can start off with a huge make-up session. It could lead to a better stress relief!!

P.S. that's awesome that you are buying a home and planning a wedding!! Congratulations! The wedding alone can cause medication...but buying a house too!!!!fogettaboutit!