FH DILEMMA - SWR

FH works 2 jobs (totally his choice). He says he has to in order to pay for the wedding, but he really doesn't need to work ALL the hours he does. He has always been a hard worker and an even harder saver. (way before the wedding and before me)

Well, he is complaining that all he does is work and has nothing to show for it. So I told him to go out and buy himself a nice watch or tv or some other thing thay guys usually like to buy.

But NNNOOOOOO! He wants a new car!!! There is nothing wrong with his car at all. Our plan was to buy something when our lease is up after the wedding and it would be something he wanted and he would drive it. I would take his car b/c I really don't go out much (I work from home and other than driving to the NJ office a few times a year, I'm home all day)

I understand that he wants something to show for his hard work, but a CAR!!!???

And, I can't even say, 'well it's his $ and he can do what he wants with it' b/c we have lived together for the past 3 years and share all expenses. Since we have been planning the wedding, we have been paying all bills and saving some from my salary and saving all of his. We are at the point where it is OUR $. I understand if he wants to go out and spend even $1000, ONE TIME, but to spend $350-$400 (or whatever) per MONTH for the next 3 years?????

Am I wrong by telling him we shouldn't buy a new car right now. We also want to buy a house about a year after we are married and are saving for that. We really shouldn't have 2 car payments!!

OOHH- I am hoping he snaps out of it

ETA- sorry so long and venty

if he has to work 2 jobs to pay for the wedding then IMO he shouldn't be getting a new car at this time. that expense just negates the fact that he has a second job. i would ask him to hold off at least until the day after the wedding!!!! the both of your finances seem pretty intertwined (is that a word ), you have every right to ask him to think twice about a major purchase such as a car!

Yes. it seems like a car isn't a good idea right now. From the way your describe FH, he's like the strict dieter who denies himself all sweets, then finally collapses one day under the strain and eats an entire cake.

When you talk to him, remind him of your financial goals, but I wouldn't use the word 'wrong' when describing his desires. That may make him more stubborn (and truly, you both agree that he deserves a treat although you may disagree on its scale). Maybe going forward, you and he can budget an amount to spend on fun stuff, so he gets gratification sooner and won't get frustrated.

GL!

I agree with you. It may be tough to tell him how you feel...but if you share all now, it is okay to share your feelings. It doesn't sound like a new car is a good idea at the moment

Thank you ladies. I don't feel like such a big biotch to FH now. haha

He IS Totally a passive aggressive spended...lol (if there is such a thing )

uugghh- I'm hoping he slept on it last night and came to his senses!

He came home and he KNOWS he can't have a new car, but he is still having a fit over wedding expenses. Which is a whole other issue b/c we are not spending a lot at all.

UUGHH- I just can't win. I think I need make him drink a few tonight...lol so I don't bang:

Thats why I dont tell FH what IM spending!!! Or I lower the amount by a few dollars