Ok, so FH's good friend is getting married next August. He asked FH to be one of the groomsmen. Of course he said yes without even thinknig about it. When he told me I pointed out that being in teh bridal party comes with responsibilities and that he wouldn't be able to be with me for like 1/2 the night between pictures and introductions and dancing. So then he was like Ok i'll tell him I won't do it. Not wanting to sound selfish, I told him not to do that because he wants him there so it wouldn't be fair to him. But then I told him I wasn't gonig to go. His reply was that he won't be able to enjoy himself wknowing that Im not there with him. And honestly..I know I would be all pissed off that night wondering what was going on (I know he wouldnt do anything bad, I just mean that he'll be there and I wont be) I dont want to go to this wedding and be sitting by myself for a majority of the time. I dont do well with people I dont know. ANd no joke, Im not going to know a single person there. I know this is coming off as selfish but I can't think of any other solutions...either way Im gonig to be miserable. Sorry so long!
waterspout4
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
Personally, if its his friend, he should do it. And you shouldn't threaten him with not going because it's not on your terms. I know from experience that being at a wedding where you know no one and your man is in the BP totally stinks. But there are things we life we have to deal with. (Is it really so bad to see him looking so hot in a tux while eating a good, free meal and seeing him happy?)
In all honesty, there will probably be other people there that have SO in the BP and have nothing to do. As the wedding gets closer, he can ask other BP members what their SO are doing. Really, his part is pretty much over once the reception begins. So think of the beginning of the day as him being at work and that you're enjoying a nice meal at the end of his overtime shift.
What I have done is go and work out while he's getting ready. Since men don't have to get there as early as BM, just think of that beginning of the day as alone time for you!! Take a bubble bath and get yourself ready without him being around and telling you that you're taking too long. I'm sure you've spent hours apart before.
luvabul
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
exactly, i agree, its his friend...and u get to listen to music and eat, and watch him... who cares...if i was in your shoes id love to dress up and look really hottt...and accompany my FH... cuz at the end of the night im leaving with HIM! ....
PegaLega
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
I agree with the above, it is his friend and its not really fair to him for you not to go. You wont know anyone there, and I completely understand the being uncomfortable part, but he will be there and you will get to see him thru the night and enjoy someone elses wedding.
Who knows, you might see some of their ideas and decide to steal them
snydl40
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
My FH is going to be the BM in his friends wedding-I know about 2 people total going to the wedding. Yes I will be sitting there like an idiot-but I don't care-as long as FH is being a good friend that is all that matters.
I would be disappointed in him if he didn't do it because of me, and I would be disappointed in myself for putting him in such an awkward position. I would say to you-just suck it up and go. Eat, talk to some older relatives-they usually have great stories and enjoy the music and being around a newly married couple. That is the point of attending a wedding-to support the couple and help them share in their day.
billandme
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
Posted by snydl40
My FH is going to be the BM in his friends wedding-I know about 2 people total going to the wedding. Yes I will be sitting there like an idiot-but I don't care-as long as FH is being a good friend that is all that matters.
I would be disappointed in him if he didn't do it because of me, and I would be disappointed in myself for putting him in such an awkward position. I would say to you-just suck it up and go. Eat, talk to some older relatives-they usually have great stories and enjoy the music and being around a newly married couple. That is the point of attending a wedding-to support the couple and help them share in their day.
Agree
SusanAdam
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
I know how you feel. My FH is in his best friend's bridal party in July and I will know only three people there and they are in the bridal party as well. Although I'm not jumping up and down to go (especially since it's up near Boston), I know it's a real honor for FH to take part in. After all, this same friend is going to be FH's best man for our wedding so I could never dream of getting in the way of them supporting each other on their big day. I do wonder one thing though...does the bridal party usually all sit together during dinner or is there a chance I can sit with FH?
waterspout4
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
Posted by SusanAdam
I do wonder one thing though...does the bridal party usually all sit together during dinner or is there a chance I can sit with FH?
It depends on the wedding. We decided against it because it's so awkward for the date of the BP. But my two close friends still had the BP with them on their wedding days. It's up to the bride and groom. I just smile and go with it!!
SusanAdam
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
Posted by waterspout4
Posted by SusanAdam
I do wonder one thing though...does the bridal party usually all sit together during dinner or is there a chance I can sit with FH?
It depends on the wedding. We decided against it because it's so awkward for the date of the BP. But my two close friends still had the BP with them on their wedding days. It's up to the bride and groom. I just smile and go with it!!
Thanks for the info! I'll definitely do that for his friend's wedding and go with the flow. I'm going to allow my BP to sit where ever they want. I want everyone to feel comfortable.
ejm1219
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
In all honesty, we have both been in BP where we have not known the other people - but - we have gotten to know other people before because of the rehearsal and all the other stuff etc. Maybe you can meet some of your FH friends before so that way you will know people. In all honesty, if my FH told me not to be in a friends bridal party I would tell him to take a hike. Its not his business - its mine! LOL JMO!
AlmostMrsKelly
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
it's funny i was just thinking about this, this morning... one of the groomsmen in our wedding caused me all sorts of stress and i DO NOT like him or his girlfriend. he's probably the closest of DH's friend's to getting married and i am DREADING it, lol. because not only would i not know anyone, i wouldn't like anyone. LOL, i'm thinking about this and they aren't even engaged!! hopefully you won't be without FH all night. i tried to make it as easy as possible on everyone in my BP, because some of them have SO's and i imagine how i would feel. i extended rehearsal dinner invites to SO's and i seated people in the BP with their friends and loved ones, not necessarily with each other. all in all, they were probably just on their own for the drive and then for the 45 minutes while we were taking pictures. not so bad. i am in a BP in february and DH isn't and i know my friend is doing the same type of thing. our SO's are invited to the rehearsal dinner and she's having a separate cocktail hour for the BP and their SO's... and we're going to her house in between the church and the reception and all SO's are invited. HOPEFULLY, this couple will be just as considerate as many others are and it won't be as bad as you think. but even though you don't want to go (and i wouldn't want to either), don't not go because of this. it will make FH feel torn and even though he'll pick you (he already showed he would) - it would ruin it for him. it's just one night, so i would do my best to grin and bear it.
MattandTricia07
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
FH is in a wedding this July (his roomie from college who I adore) This past July he asked Matt to be in his wedding party and I know that I will not know anyone and it will be my responsibility to find the church and reception place (oh yeah the wedding is out of state) but I am okay with it. It's one of his dearest friends from college and I wouldn't want it any other way.
And when we get married in December, the role's will be reversed- the roomate's new wife will have to hang out with other people.
Happybride2005
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
i was in a bridal party where dh didn't know anyone. it all worked out fine. i was with dh for 3/4 of the wedding. dh is a people person so that helped. the only time he was really by himself was during the cocktail hour
hayleyandsteve
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
I really have to agree with everyone...
I just wanted to add, that maybe the couple is taking pictures before the ceremony, in which case, you'll probably get to spend most of the cocktail hour and reception with your FH....
weddings are such a beautiful and special occasion..... i think it's only fair of you to go with your FH and try to have fun
MnM52607
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
FH and I have been in this situation. It's really not half the night that he will be taking pictures. You will most likely get to spend the entire cocktail hour with him. And then you'll just have to be alone for the introductions. I am a very shy person also but you do what you have to do for him.
ama1771
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
we've been in that situation before. I would feel horrible if I was the reason my fi wasn't a part of his friend's big day. okay so for the first couple of hours you'll be alone, but you have the rest of the night with him, and hopefully every night after that.
ML110
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
i think you'll be fine... weddings now are different. most people let the wedding party sit with their dates, so you'll probably be with him for the whole dinner and reception.... they also might be taking pictures before the ceremony, in which case he would be at coctail hour with you, too.... once the wedding party gets introduced at the reception, his job is over and you can hang out with him... i wouldn't want him to not be a part of his friends wedding because i felt uncomfortable...
eelharas4700
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
Posted by kismet8601
I agree with the above, it is his friend and its not really fair to him for you not to go. You wont know anyone there, and I completely understand the being uncomfortable part, but he will be there and you will get to see him thru the night and enjoy someone elses wedding.
Who knows, you might see some of their ideas and decide to steal them
i'm with ya! go have a few drinks, have dinner, dance a little....and steal ideas!!
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
I agree with everyone else as well. You are going to have to s*ck it up and go, you are not being fair to him. DH was in a BP last month in FL - the morning of the wedding I just did my own thing - found a mall and went shopping, etc. I got myself to the church and the reception hall. I only knew one other person that I had only met once or twice. It was fine. Really, its only one day, maybe you will meet some new and interesting people.
angnick
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Re: FH in bridal party but I dont know anyone...
Posted by MnM52607
FH and I have been in this situation. It's really not half the night that he will be taking pictures. You will most likely get to spend the entire cocktail hour with him. And then you'll just have to be alone for the introductions. I am a very shy person also but you do what you have to do for him.
right- mnm had to do this for my wedding, and i'm going to do it for hers. it is fine..
it all works out..
you shouldnt tell him not to be in a wedding because u wont know anyone.. that is silly.
