FH is Making Me SO ANGRY (long sorry)

Like I've said a billion times on here in relation to other things, I am taking the bar exam in July exactly a month before our wedding. Before the bar, you have to enroll in a bar course that takes place 5 days a week, and then typically you'd spend the majority of your non-class time studying. This will start for me in April - I'll have my final exams from school and then I'll have one week after that before the bar course starts. So basically I have to be totally done with planning by April. I am going to be so stressed that the only thing I'll really be able to do is go to my remaining appointments.

For this reason, I'm trying to do everything early. I have 3 months left until April and I'm doing pretty well so far. The only thing FH really needs to do is pick groomsmen gifts. We do not need to buy them now at all, but FH is the biggest procrastinator and if he doesn't start thinking about it know, you don't know what I will go through while I am studying. He will be stumped and frustrated and I'll have to drop everything to help him figure it out. I do NOT want that to happen and I'm trying to get him to start thinking of their gifts. Everytime I try to to talk about it he won't. He doesn't like ANY ideas - he doesn't like something videogame themed, he doesn't like sporting event tickets, he doesn't like wallets with gift cards in them, and he doesn't like cuff links. He is being SO difficult.

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Posted by Espo22

well what does your fh like or what is he into? maybe this way if you pick something he'll be WOW about then he might pick the gifts now

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Hm and all of the groomsmen are into video games, but he hates that idea because it isn't 'lasting'. He is convinced that we need to give something lasting, and while I understand that, it's going to be near impossible to find something I think since he already shot down cuff links and wallets and all our GMs are from different backgrounds (some college students, some professionals, one in high school, etc.).

Aww How Frustrating.....I have one of THOSE too HAAAHAHHA.. Any way you can just sit him down and set up a day to go out and just look at stuff. This way, you won't be harassing him every day, guys tend to shut down and refuse to do it at all at that point! Maybe promise to lay off for a month and on February 20th((or whatever day you choose)) you guys can go out and dedicate that day to ONLY GM gifts?? Just an idea......IMO that is what I would try.

MEN ARE sOoOoOooo AGGRAVATING!

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Posted by Eternalyyourz

awww. I have to say I am having trouble w/ the gifts for the groom and the groomsmen too!

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I know it really is tough!! THe girls were so easy - jewelry lol! And I might also get my girls the philosophy body wash set called 'bridal party.' But not only is it hard to get for the GMs, but my FH is making it worse! He is the pickiest guy sometimes - when we got our wedding bands I tried on like 5 or 6 and he literally tried on more than thirty!!

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Posted by anamaree77

Aww How Frustrating.....I have one of THOSE too HAAAHAHHA.. Any way you can just sit him down and set up a day to go out and just look at stuff. This way, you won't be harassing him every day, guys tend to shut down and refuse to do it at all at that point! Maybe promise to lay off for a month and on February 20th((or whatever day you choose)) you guys can go out and dedicate that day to ONLY GM gifts?? Just an idea......IMO that is what I would try.

MEN ARE sOoOoOooo AGGRAVATING!

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I think that's a really great idea. That one day will be total hell (lol) but then we will get it done. FH likes having advanced notice so he would probably prefer what you said. Thanks for the idea!

Im sorry
honestly, i wouldnt get angry about it
they are his groomsmen and i'd let him figure it out and i would be sure to tell him when the deadline is

sorry, i may not be so helpful but i would tell FH that I'm washing my hands of it and it's on him

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Posted by Snowflake08

Im sorry
honestly, i wouldnt get angry about it
they are his groomsmen and i'd let him figure it out and i would be sure to tell him when the deadline is

sorry, i may not be so helpful but i would tell FH that I'm washing my hands of it and it's on him

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If he doesn't do it by April, I think that I will have to do that and then just ignore him when he's freaking out because he can't figure it out. Of course, that is easier said then done, but I don't really have a choice because my life is going to be SO crappy between April and August.

we are having the same problem (except the wedding is in April so that is really it) he wants to do something useful, he was stuck on the idea of a pocket watch for a while but i finally talked him out of it telling him that it will never be used!!! now he is thinking of a regular watch. or something engraved. there really isn't much out there

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Posted by Melissa313

we are having the same problem (except the wedding is in April so that is really it) he wants to do something useful, he was stuck on the idea of a pocket watch for a while but i finally talked him out of it telling him that it will never be used!!! now he is thinking of a regular watch. or something engraved. there really isn't much out there

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I totally thought watches too, but one of our GMs is in international business and the BM is an attorney, so they both have ridiculously nice watches already and we both kinda feel like they'll never waer any watch we give them for that reason. UGHHHHHHHH.

what about:

a tie along with other smaller things

one time when fh was a GM he received an IPOD, it was a small bp so it was easy to do not sure how many you have

maybe some type of electronic device

Oh no, all I can say is this (I am an attorney)
once the bar review starts, drop everything....
its hell but you only want to study for this exam once, and if you put your 100% effort into it....you'll pass. Explain to FH, he has 3 mos for you to help him and if he doesn't come up with GM gifts by then he is 100% on his own b/c you need to study!...tell him his life will be hell if you fail....LOL

GL

Argh. That must be pretty frustrating. Personally, I suggest one of the following:

1) Tell him to get the gift by x date or you're doing it, period. If he does not meet the deadline, the gift will be whatever you choose and he will have no input.

2) Tell him to get the gift with no deadline, and if he doesn't do it, don't help him. Let him get panicked and possibly offend the GMs.

Neither option is ideal, to be sure, but quite honestly, he should not be putting you in this position and neither should you be 'saving' him by taking away time when you should be studing for the bar exam! Let him deal with the consequences of his actions, but you need to really stick with one of the above options and not give in. Good luck.