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fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

Eva Faith Posted:

fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night




yes i want him to enjoy his summer
yes i want him to have fun

i just don't think joining a softball team that requires him to practice for long hours and play games on every Thursday and Saturday is a good idea the summer we are getting married.

the apartment we are moving into needs a TON of work
and we are still not done with wedding stuff

i was soooooooooooo upset last night night
what do i do?
how can i be calm about this?
am i being ridiculous??

Also he helps with our churches youth group on weds nights, leads a college group on Friday nights and attends a guys growth group on THURSDAYSSSSS now he is taking away SATURDAYS
I love that he love to help people and I love to help people, but I feel like right now we need to help ourselves
MrsDtoBe09 Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

Don't stress...you'll find time somehow to do everything. My fh plays softball and he loves it - I would never take that away from him. You'll work it out!

Summertimegal424 Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

i think its good that hes doing something constructive with his time. i wish my FH would do something like that..instead of putting back a few beers lol

HotAir Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

I agree that it's good that he is doing nice, constructive activities. Hopefully he will schedule in some time for you. If you feel that he isn't, speak to him calmly about it.

geegee827 Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

This is our schedule for the week;

Mon - I kickbox
Wed - I kickbox and FH plays softball
Thurs - FH plays softball
Sat am - FH coaches little league
Sunday - FH bowls

Add to the mix that FH has to be up for work at 4:15 am so the nights that I do see him, he leaves by 9 pm. I don't get home from work till 6:30-ish.

That's not a lot of time. BUT, I like that we both have our own things to do.

It won't be as bad as you thought. Now in the fall when he has all this free time, I feel like I have no 'alone' time!
debzy Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

Honestly? I think it's great he's doing that. Who cares what nights of the week it is. It's important that you each have time to yourself or time to explore your own interests. My FH works Saturdays and doesn't get home til 8. It's life. I don't complain.

Espo22 Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

you're lucky its 2 nights only lol jk. DH is on about 4 softball leagues, or did he do only 3 this year lol i forget. Last week dh played tuesday, wednesday, friday and sunday. It's not that bad and he doesn't practice ever. On tuesdays and wednesdays his games start before i get home from work and he is home a little after 8pm. He played softball last night but after he came home late we stayed up late watching a movie and hung out. Sunday, well its very early in the morning, im still sleeping when he is leaving for softball and he is home around 10-11am so we still have the whole day.

Im used to it though bc dh was playing softball when i met him and infact he used to play 5-6 nights a week but after we met he cut it down and played for less leagues, he cut it down to just 3-4 softball leagues a season.

I don't tell him anything bc this is something DH LOOOVES. He has been playing since he is 4, played in school on baseball teams and has been playing softball for 10 or more years. His dad played too and they won championships together, its something he grew up with and a true passion of his. I am actually glad he plays, i look at his dad who played until his 50's and he is in great physical shape, i think its good to keep active even as they get older especially. It's good to have hobbies like this and dh played while we were planning for the wedding and i'll say he came to every single meeting and did things whenever i needed him to. I just made appts on days he didn't play and we did things on the weekend that we needed to do when he didn't play.

Dh couldnt wait for the season to start this year, he was down about it, usually he plays football in the winter but this year he didn't. It's like he needs to play sports, i really think this lol.

and dont forget that you can also go to the games to watch him. Ive been to many of dh's softball games and I LOVE watching him play.
coldasice217 Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

I'm going to be the odd one out, again, lol.

I completely understand how you feel right now, because I'm going through the same thing. FH decided that this summer would be the perfect time to join the work softball team, and HE DOESN'T PLAY SOFTBALL. This is in addition to the hockey he plays usually every saturday, and it frustrates me, because in my instance, I KNOW that the only reason he's doing it is to put off looking for a house/apartment/grow up and be an adult.

So yes, I definitely know where you're coming from, and why you're frustrated.
Espo22 Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

Posted by coldasice217

I'm going to be the odd one out, again, lol.

I completely understand how you feel right now, because I'm going through the same thing. FH decided that this summer would be the perfect time to join the work softball team, and HE DOESN'T PLAY SOFTBALL. This is in addition to the hockey he plays usually every saturday, and it frustrates me, because in my instance, I KNOW that the only reason he's doing it is to put off looking for a house/apartment/grow up and be an adult.

So yes, I definitely know where you're coming from, and why you're frustrated.


i can see how its frustrating if they never played. I guess it's different if somebody has done it their whole life, in that situation you can't say anything bc its obviously a part of who they are and something they truly are passionate about and i dont think you can take something away from somebody that they are truly passionate about. However, if they've gone their whole lives and never played and then out of nowhere they want to do this then I understand. I met dh and he was playing so i was used to it from when we first met. The first year we were dating, i went to almost every single game so it was part of the relationship lol and got used to it. Your situation is a bit different, and the OP's situation is a bit different I will say, not 100% sure how i would react if it happened this way bc hasn't happened to me so can't say.

For dh this was his life growing up and not just his but his family life. His mom went through the same when she met his dad, she went to all his games and he played alot. His dad also got into the minor leagues and was going to play in the pros until he had a bad injury and couldn't play for a major league team bc of it. His family life revolved around alot between him and his dads games, his family went to all his games since he was 4 years old, then his dad whenever it didnt interfere with his own schedule. They played together and the family would go to watch them play. So baseball/softball was a huge part of his life and his family, and not to mention that although baseball was number 1, dh also ran track, played soccer at one point, has played hockey and a bunch of other sports as a kid. So i do understand that others situations are different, and if its just something that comes out of nowhere then can see where somebody thinks 'why now'


allegracristina Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

Aw girl I TOTALLY feel you on this!!! For the last 3 years FH has played on a softball team that plays 2-3 games a week, on weeknights, from 8:00pm-11:00 pm. Last year after a tumultuous season I told him that I really wasn't comfortable with him playing this year, because the season starts in April and ends in July, and we're getting married June 5th! I just needed him around for me, and it was getting heated because he wanted to play. Thank God for me, his teammates decided not to play this season. Otherwise the s.hit would have hit the fan. Just try to be as supportive as you can. It's tough, and I totally feel where you're coming from. Other people may think you're being selfish, but honestly, you get married once in your life, and there's your whole life for softball seasons....JMO....
B2B 2009 Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

I'm with the majority.. I think you should be supportive and tell him to have a good time playing.. Do you want him telling you you can't do something you enjoy? Everyone is diff but FH and I do xtra things that sometimes occupy us 2-5xweek at nite and we find time to get things done.. you work around it.. Obviously the wedding is priority but joining a softball team is not going to severely interfere with that and I'm sure if there is anything that does have to be done on a Thurs or Sat nite he can miss it that particular week.. don't stress it

gina409 Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

i play softball and fh does not mind.....if he loves playing u gotta gve him the space..u will make the time to get it all done dont worry

Mich2585 Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

umm just have him promise one day a week to you ... whatever day he is not saving the world
BeLissa Posted:

Re: fh joined a softball team...will be playing softball every sat night

i'm in the minority, but this would bug me too. i mean, i would think its great that he's joining a team if its something he's really interested in and passionate about, but i think the part that would annoy me is that its on Sat nights. and in your case, that he already has so many other things he gives his time to during the week.

but on the other hand, FH has had the same mets ticket package since we've been together - every sat home game, the whole season. at first this kind of annoyed me, esp since its over the summer, and i knew things would come up that fell on game days. but after the first season i actually came to really like my 2 saturdays a month to myself and when there were things that came up, we always managed to work it out.

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