FH - not involved

mares2000 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 09:56 AM

FH - not involved

Does anyone have the same problem that I have ??
--my FH doesnt seem to care what save the date cards we get, the cake topper and things like that.

I feel like he should be more involved with things and he keeps telling me we have 95% of things done but he has no idea how much of the 'small' stuff needs to get done.

Anyone else have this issue??

stinenandy2010 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 09:58 AM

Re: FH - not involved

My FH was involved in picking out the RH, he felt that was the most important part. Other then that, he really doesn't care, he trusts me. Personally, I really don't have a problem with him not being involved. I always ask if he wants to come with me to appointments and sometimes he does and other times he doesn't. However, now that we are getting closer and close, it seems like he is getting more involved...maybe its bc we are only 10months away.

rocketsummer17 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:00 AM

Re: FH - not involved

He knows how much I have to get done and trys to help where he can...He tries to go out of his way if he see's something I would like for the wedding, he also does some research for me every once in a while...But honestly, i know he can care less about our colors and the little details that us brides stress over. If I ask him for his opinion he will give it to me, he wont go out of his way to say 'Those colors clash with the flowers on table 8...Change it to blah blah blah'
I think its just a guy thing, try not to stress it, not worth it in the big picture!!

Rosalind_75 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:00 AM

Re: FH - not involved

sometimes i wish i had that problem. lol

FH is very much involved!!!

I think for him this wedding is like throwing one big a*s party!!
Which he loves doing!!!

Kiki1103 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:00 AM

Re: FH - not involved

You are not alone. My FH does not care about anything except the band and the RH, and even for that I had to research everything and set up appts and even weed things out before he would come to the 2nd appts. Some guys are just not interested I guess. I have gotten into many fights about this and have now decided that this is the way its going to be and I have made my peace with it.

Lsorrent Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:01 AM

Re: FH - not involved

Posted by stinenandy2010

My FH was involved in picking out the RH, he felt that was the most important part. Other then that, he really doesn't care, he trusts me. Personally, I really don't have a problem with him not being involved. I always ask if he wants to come with me to appointments and sometimes he does and other times he doesn't. However, now that we are getting closer and close, it seems like he is getting more involved...maybe its bc we are only 10months away.

Seems to be the same for me. I make all of the phone calls and appointments, and he just comes along if he wants. He was very involved in picking the band and the RH. The rest he really couldn't care less about. He's already told me he wants nothing to do with picking out flowers, and I'm fine with that.

He helped me pick between B&W or color STD's, but I made the design up myself.

It actually works better for me that he doesn't have much of an opinion on these things....that way I get what I want!

JillandJoe Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:04 AM

Re: FH - not involved

It depends on the person. Joe is involved in every detial, but thata how he is with life. Sometimes I want to make some of those little decisions myself and can't so its a double edged sword...

mares2000 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:05 AM

Re: FH - not involved

I am going to try not to stress about it but I see it as our day and that I should not being making all the decisions...not to mention I love when he tells me not to stress but yet he has no idea how much needs to be done. Once we got the recption hall and the other big items he thinks there is nothing else to do.

I gave him a list of things he needs to do for me to lesson the stress and then I get stressed out when he takes his time with things

MrsC2010 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:05 AM

Re: FH - not involved

fh has been really involved in making appts and booking the major vendors...

however...i know when it comes to little details like colors, cake toppers, etc he won't really care all that much

christine2010 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:08 AM

Re: FH - not involved

i have the opposite problem. my FH thinks we have all the time in the world, which we don't. he is very picky about everything but doesn't want to help.

mares2000 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:15 AM

Re: FH - not involved

My FH does the same thing....we have time dont worry..I told him he said that 6 months ago. Now tomorrow will be a year to our wedding and what he doesnt realize is time does fly

cateydee Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:27 AM

Re: FH - not involved

Posted by MrsC2010

fh has been really involved in making appts and booking the major vendors...

however...i know when it comes to little details like colors, cake toppers, etc he won't really care all that much

same here. my MOH is really creative so she will help me do all the smaller details.

some things are good to do with your MOH or family/friends- FH doesnt necessarily need to be involved in all the smaller details, as long as he has a say in the big things like hall, photo etc.

lori7570 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:30 AM

Re: FH - not involved

I think FH is involved a good amount, enough to be a aprt of everything and keep me calm, but not so much that it is overwhelming...He considers this his day also so he wants to be involved with everything

T E R I Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:44 AM

Re: FH - not involved

My Fh is not involved at all, has no idea what is planned and what items i have, he just wants to know where to show up

italgal Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:45 AM

Re: FH - not involved

I have the same problem,FH is not involved at all.............it's a problem I welcome! Guys are guys, we all love them & could not live without them. If you think different you should not be getting married...HOWEVER, I think it's best left up to us ladies to take care of planning & shopping for our weddings. You can make him come along & help you to do what you need to do & he probably would do it. I know my man.....he just will not be into it & I would not enjoy shopping.. I don't need that! I've been shopping with my FMIL & My Mom & my MOH and we have made it a very enjoyable day of running around. Leaving him home was the best ' no I'm not interested you go have fun' I've ever got!

Kimbiz1 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:46 AM

Re: FH - not involved

I have the total opposite...want my FH to hang out with your FH and hope some of it rubs off on him???

mares2000 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 10:53 AM

Re: FH - not involved

Posted by Kimbiz1

I have the total opposite...want my FH to hang out with your FH and hope some of it rubs off on him???

Anything would help at this point :)

I think that I would rather go alone sometimes but sometimes I get mad that he is not more involved...maybe I should go out for a drink and relax a bit

jussie82 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 11:00 AM

Re: FH - not involved

Posted by Rosalind_75

sometimes i wish i had that problem. lol

FH is very much involved!!!

I think for him this wedding is like throwing one big a*s party!!
Which he loves doing!!!

ita! I wish I had more free reign!

pasta3825 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 11:04 AM

Re: FH - not involved

I like that he doesn't care... that means I can get to pick everything out!

AdriandSteve Posted: Mar 13, 2009 11:06 AM

Re: FH - not involved

At times FH cares i guess. He went to every photographer and RH with me but i feel like he came to the halls just to come.

I stepped back with the photographers which forced him into taking a larger roll in planning, which he did.
DJ he had no choice lol
Flowers i don't think he really cares lol...
Colors he has no choice
umm... yeah