FH's Family Making Him/Us Upset

I feel bad for FH....since we got engaged he has mentioned going upstate to his friends' house for his bp & hunting/fishing/drinking & doing 'guy stuff'. Well my bro is BM & set this up....here's the problem.....

3 of his cousin's hubby's are in the bp, ALL 3 are NOT attending & haven't even gotten back to my brother about it. His mom told me today that they weren't going & was going on & on about what a crazy idea & why would they want to do that & how can they be expected to go when they are married & have kids & on & ON.

I told them that this is what my FH wanted to do & even if his cousins couldn't go for the entire weekend they could at least go for the day (its only a 2 hour drive) & to be honest I told them FH is VERY upset about the whole thing.

She told me they plan on taking him out around here but FH told me he wouldn't be available, that THIS is his bp & if they can't at least make an effort then that's too bad.

His mom is being very URRR though & at this point FH is getting fed up w/ them entirely. He mentioned to me how things will change after our wedding w/ being available for them, etc.

Also let me say its not only the bp, but he's called to mention about the tuxes & called to ask about other stuff & they haven't gotten back to him.

Just venting & kinda felt in the middle defending FH & trying to be respectful of his parents who took me to lunch & booked our RD.

FH is very upset though b/c he was there for them for all their weddings & made himself available & he's feeling let down & upset.....

ETA: his cousin's hubbys have been in the family at least the last 5-10 years & have been like 'cousins' to him.

Re: FH's Family Making Him/Us Upset

Cindy - give your FH lots of from me!! His friends should be helpign out more and not making this process hard for him!!! He deserves as much happiness as you do!!!

Re: FH's Family Making Him/Us Upset

Cindy, I feel for you and FH. It stinks when people we care about don't come through for us in the way we expect them to. You might try explaining to his mom that FH doesn't want a night of druken debauchery for his bachelor party because he is not a kid, and instead prefers this kind of low key weekend. Maybe that will help her to understand why this is such a big deal, and why his cousins should make the effort to at least come for the day.

Re: FH's Family Making Him/Us Upset

Cindy, I'm so sure you guys are going through this. I feel like people just don't understand the importance of weddings to the people who are getting married. And it always seems to be family members letting down the couple. I think weddings just bring out the ugly. Here are some hugs for you and Ray!!!!