Fh vent!!!

Ok I need to vent... I'm starting to hate fh!!! It's true that weddings bring out the worse in people!!! So I'm not sure if anyone else feels like this but I'm so mad at fh... He can never be bothered to go to appointments, feels like we can just wait till the last minute to do stuff and doesn't care.... He literally can't be bothered to do anything and is finding ways to make me feel like I shouldn't be doing things for our wedding....
I'm so mad and so frustrated... I feel like he takes no interest!!!!!
I don't know if I should just do everything myself? I really wanted to do everything with him and have it be about us but he doesn't even care!!!! Ughhh vent over!!!

Fh vent!!!

Oh man, FH was like that for about a week. Then I just didn't do anything. Didn't ask him about anything. Refused to book anything or do any research on the wedding. he came crawling back saying 'hey how about this weekend we go look at photographers'

Fh vent!!!

I'm so sorry you're going through this! Maybe he's overwhelmed? Have you discussed this with him?
If I were in your shoes I'd go with maybe my MoH or mom and see if it effects him. I've noticed FH has changed a little since we got engaged. It is understandably a stressful time for everyone. Maybe he's just not into going to all of these vendors. I know I've been tons few appointments and saw just the bride waiting for her appointment and questioned if FH was even supposed to be there with me.
I really wish I could help you out more :/

Fh vent!!!

Ughh outside of this wedding stuff fh is great obviously or I wouldn't be getting married! I hate going with my mom- she's overwhelming... Her intentions are good but talks so much I don't ask what I want to!!! And my moh lives in Pennsylvania... She's coming at the end of the month to do wedding stuff with me but I just get so mad at fh... It wouldn't phase him! He actually said he would rather just put disposable cameras on the table than hire a photographer... Now I know that comes from his outrageously cheap parents but still!!! Makes me so mad!!!!!!! But thanks for your advice ladies!! Ill definitely try something with him!!!!

Fh vent!!!

My FH is like that too and our wedding is in 7 months (nothing is booked but the venue!) You think he would want to help out saying how I am in three other weddings all before ours and planning two baby showers on top of the things that come with a wedding.... AGH I feel your pain ! they suck!!

Fh vent!!!

When we first got engaged I asked him what he does and doesn't care about... So that way I wouldn't expect more than he wanted to give (even if that meant nothing)

Fh vent!!!

I am sorry you are going through this! FH has been involved every step of the way and is probably more into the wedding than I so I can't really relate but I will say you need to be open and honest with him about how he is making you feel!

Fh vent!!!

My FH was honest when we first started planning. He said he felt as if his job was done by buying the ring and asking me to marry him. I told him that he needs to come to the venues with me to help with that, but anything after that I'll do myself. I also told him that if he didnt have an opinion, he didnt get to have an opinion about my decisions. This meant the styles, colors, and costs related to anything. He agreed, but when I started telling him how much things cost, he started getting a little more involved. He helped pick the photographer/videographer. But for the florist and band, I'm on my own. My mom helps, and a good friend has come to some vendors with me.

I actually don't mind doing things alone. This way I get what I want, can ask the questions I want to ask, form my own opinions, and know that I'm only making myself happy. And FH and I are the only ones I need to make sure are happy. He's made it clear that he'll be happy as long as I'm happy.

I would try not to let it bother you. Think about it, and decide what you NEED him there for, and what you can do without him. Then tell him, 'I expect you to come to a, b and c with me, but I can do d, e and f without you.' Compromise and negotiation are useful tools in any relationship. Just remember this is one day celebrating the beginning of your life together. You don't want this to sour your otherwise wonderful relationship.

Re: Fh vent!!!

some guys just aren't interested in this kind of stuff. my moh her fh tells her to pick everything because he couldn't care less what flowers look like etc. my fh is the same way. besides dj and photographer he really hasn't had any interest in anything else lol.

even our honeymoon besides saying lets go to Jamaica he really couldn't have cared less where we went lol. I know he's still excited to get married he just figures as a girl I'm better at this then him. though he did have fun registering and I let him put a dumb beer thing on from crate & barrel lol.

Fh vent!!!

I understand how that could be very frustrating. My FH was a lot like that in the beginning. I sat down with him and explained to him that this is what I have been dreaming about my whole life... and it wouldn't be the same if I planned it alone. I told him that I really wanted him there... even if he is faking it lol

Have you tried a heart to heart?

Fh vent!!!

thanks for your support ladies!! i had a serious heart to heart with FH last night and i know he does care and he says he does, but he did say that ultimately if I am happy he is happy and thats why he is just letting me do my thing...I did explain to him though that I want him there for everything since it is OUR wedding....he definitely did feel bad that I was upset and mad at him and apologized for it too! :)
lucky to have a guy like him!!

Fh vent!!!

when i want to go to a vendor i ask FH do you want to go with me..sometimes he will say ok and other times like for flowers and invitations he says that he doesnt care what i pick and i do it myself..i always get his opinion if he likes my vision and so far he has and we have had 0 discrepencies..and honestly it doesnt bother me. if he showed 0 interest in the wedding that would be a problem..but for some guys it just isnt their thing

Fh vent!!!

For us FH just cared about the DJ and venue - but over all myself, my mother, and my sister are planning the wedding. AND that's totally fine by me and him! I think it's great that FH isn't too involved and leaving the decisions to me. He gives his input on things that really matter to him and that's fine with me.

Re: Fh vent!!!

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Posted by LadyReeRee

For us FH just cared about the DJ and venue - but over all myself, my mother, and my sister are planning the wedding. AND that's totally fine by me and him! I think it's great that FH isn't too involved and leaving the decisions to me. He gives his input on things that really matter to him and that's fine with me.

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This! If FH isn't interested I don't make him go I just make him sign the check! Hahaha. But seriously him not being interested in wedding planning doesn't mean he isn't interested in marrying me. I'd think most men don't like this stuff. Get your family & bridesmaids involved. I'm sure they'd love to help. I just made sure FH was involved in the venue & DJ because those are most important.

Re: Fh vent!!!

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Posted by Soon2BeMrsMango

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Posted by LadyReeRee

For us FH just cared about the DJ and venue - but over all myself, my mother, and my sister are planning the wedding. AND that's totally fine by me and him! I think it's great that FH isn't too involved and leaving the decisions to me. He gives his input on things that really matter to him and that's fine with me.

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This! If FH isn't interested I don't make him go I just make him sign the check! Hahaha. But seriously him not being interested in wedding planning doesn't mean he isn't interested in marrying me. I'd think most men don't like this stuff. Get your family & bridesmaids involved. I'm sure they'd love to help. I just made sure FH was involved in the venue & DJ because those are most important.

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I third this! FH came to the venues and DJ. I took him to the photographers b/c that was the most important thing to me, but even at some of those appointments he just kind of looked at me like whatever you want is fine. I knew he didn't want to do flowers, but I asked him just to make sure he felt included. Not surprisingly he said no lol and I went with my mom and sister. Honestly, sometimes I'd rather do things without FH there. I know he would have been bored out of his mind with vendors like florists and I would have felt stressed to rush the appointment. I put him to work on things like hotel blocks...I'm dreading doing that and he feels useful calling to get information.