well we got into a stupid fight about what else MONEY.....i think he spend too much...he thinks im too tight with it......well he ALWAYS calls me during the day and especially on his way home and we see who will get home first and who will start dinner or whatever/....well i was just checking our voicemails on teh computer and as i was on he was on deleting odl messages which means he is home and showered ( caue thats teh first thing he does) and is ignoring my messages and hasnt called....... With the whole story..he should be on his knees appologizing to me ( long story) but he DOESNT COMMUNICATE so now he sint going to talk all night....and i have to watch my nephews after work for a bit and now we'll never get to talk and he'll be asleep when i get home.
i am just s upset that i cant get him to communicate with me...he gets annoyed and doesnt speak..any suggestions?
TIA
micmar
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Re: fight with fh
Don't stress - deep breath!! Just speak to him when you get home & calmly tell him that you are just concerned about finances & can the two of you sit down & go over what you're spending & where you can possibly cut back. This is a stressful time, so sometimes every little thing gets people uptight & stressed. Good luck!!
pinkstar025
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Re: fight with fh
my biggest concern is i KNOW there is NO WAY this wedding will be paid off...so once again he wants to throw it on a CC..i dont even HAVE a CC thats how anti-CC i am......he says we only live once and shouldnt regret it....ummm but rack up consistant DEBT?
sorry i really needed to vent..its been upsetting me all day
thanks
ckgmwedding
Posted:
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Re: fight with fh
Hang in there! I have a DH who used to sulk when we were fighting and refuse to talk to me. I lost if finally when that happened that last time and told him that had to stop. Now we talk more than fight. Money is the biggest issue to fight about in marriage and there is always one saver and one spender in each family. So it does get better, just keep talking
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: fight with fh
Posted by ckgmwedding
Money is the biggest issue to fight about in marriage and there is always one saver and one spender in each family.
I agree with this!! hang in there DT!
Mrs_B
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Re: fight with fh
Posted by pinkstar025
well we got into a stupid fight about what else MONEY.....i think he spend too much...he thinks im too tight with it......well he ALWAYS calls me during the day and especially on his way home and we see who will get home first and who will start dinner or whatever/....well i was just checking our voicemails on teh computer and as i was on he was on deleting odl messages which means he is home and showered ( caue thats teh first thing he does) and is ignoring my messages and hasnt called....... With the whole story..he should be on his knees appologizing to me ( long story) but he DOESNT COMMUNICATE so now he sint going to talk all night....and i have to watch my nephews after work for a bit and now we'll never get to talk and he'll be asleep when i get home.
i am just s upset that i cant get him to communicate with me...he gets annoyed and doesnt speak..any suggestions?
TIA
Talk to him tomorrow about it. This way you both have a clear head.
DMcK
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Re: fight with fh
ravens_bride
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Re: fight with fh
I have a silent one too. Its frustrating especially when I rant and want to know what he is thinking, but no response. He is also the spender in the house. The wedding is a week and a half away and we are getting very tight on making the payments and he is looking at computer parts!!! I recently told FH that it hurts me and ticks me off more when he doesn't talk and tell me what he thinks and feels. I told him the fights and arguments would be over in half the time if he talked. He thought about that long and hard and told me what was up. At least it worked once.
Faith
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Re: fight with fh
My dear FH is one that gets quiet when he is angry too. Honestly, I'd rather have that than someone that yells or acts out when angry. From trial and error, I've found that if I back off and stop asking him 'What's wrong' and trying to make him talk about it, he will cool off and eventually approach me when he's ready to rationally talk about it. I feel like when he feels the pressure is off from me by me leaving him alone for a while, he gets his thoughts together. Maybe you can just be a little aloof and he will come around.
KimberlyBride
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Re: fight with fh
PinkSoil
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Re: fight with fh
When my FH and I argue, I always have to go to him first because he'll just sit there and not say anything. Don't worry, everything will be ok! You guys just have a difference of opinion of how money should be spent! Give him a day to cool off and see if you can find some way to comprimise your spending!
mendara
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Re: fight with fh
men men men - they are all the same - I think if you state your point once - and only once - and make sure he hears you - then let him thinking about how you feel in his silent way - I think what we as women do wrong is we keep arguing until we get a reaction or something and we don't let it go until we do and men hear that as nagging and so they don't say something stupid they just dont say anything -
tell him how you feel about using the cc only once - then tell him that you must find another way and if there is NO other way you will consider using the card??? just a thought
pinkstar025
Posted:
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Re: fight with fh
well last night i got home and found out he was home for 3 hours and never returned my calls and when i walked in the door he wouldnt talk to me and was walking around with this pissed look on his face so i asked him why he was mad at ME? and he said he was pissed i called him at work to yell at him ( which i agrreed was WRONG and called earlier and appologized for) and then said he lies about what he spends because he doesnt want to listen to be nagging about saving money so he lies and i just broke down and he sat there staring at me with this mean look pissed..and didnt care at all..so i just left the room and after a few minutes he thought and came in and appologized and told me he does care how i feel and he finally sat and talked with me and all is fine......... i jsut couldnt take it anymore...we NEVER fight but if we do...he DOES NOT SPEAK until i break down adn then i think he feels bad
but thanks girls!
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: fight with fh
I'm glad you worked it out Nicole!!
I hate to admit this, but if all else fails, tears do the trick everytime. (please don't tell my FH!! )
metmymatch
Posted:
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Re: fight with fh
hang in. i can relate. fi NEVER talks after we fight. i always have to be the one to go over to him and give him a hug and THEN he'll talk. well, if he's ready. if he's not ready & i hug him he just kinda shrugs me off. gotta love the mail psyche.
