fil's and money

w/o going into specifics, i have to vent on my fil's. who view our savings acct for the wedding as their own personal atm. so they've asked for $$ from us on 2 seperate occasions. fh just called me tonight to tell me they need $$...so this is the 2nd time. and its not just them, my sister seemed to think that i would just lay out the $$ for the gift for her bridal shower and everyone would just pay me back.

has anyone else gone through this? i mean, i know i've borrowed $$ from my mom and dad but small amounts, $5 or $10 for gas and pay them back right away, and i haven't had to do that in years......

its just frustating and upsetting

Without getting too personal, let me just say that
one: I can absolutely relate and
two: my future in laws think my fiance is the Bank of America.

For some reason they seem to feel that we have all this money and EXPECT him to provide them with ridiculous amounts at all times.

Edited to add something I forgot: I also love when we're trying to pay for this wedding, save for a house, buy a new car (his just died) and we get handed a laundry list of items that certain people want for upcoming holidays.

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Posted by wendy1220

Without getting too personal, let me just say that
one: I can absolutely relate and
two: my future in laws think my fiance is the Bank of America.

For some reason they seem to feel that we have all this money and EXPECT him to provide them with ridiculous amounts at all times.

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amen sister, amen. and its not like we have millions saved, i mean, we have a lot saved in my book, but its for aour wedding. and to say you'll pay me back, is that supposed to make it easier. its the principle of it...

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Posted by smm2675

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Posted by wendy1220

Without getting too personal, let me just say that
one: I can absolutely relate and
two: my future in laws think my fiance is the Bank of America.

For some reason they seem to feel that we have all this money and EXPECT him to provide them with ridiculous amounts at all times.

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amen sister, amen. and its not like we have millions saved, i mean, we have a lot saved in my book, but its for aour wedding. and to say you'll pay me back, is that supposed to make it easier. its the principle of it...

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I'm right there with ya, I mean if someone is really in a spot, I'm the first one to help out and we certainly aren't going to not buy gifts for people b/c we're getting married. I think it's just the notion that we're shooting dollar bills out of our u know what that's pissin me off.

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Posted by wendy1220

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Posted by smm2675

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Posted by wendy1220

Without getting too personal, let me just say that
one: I can absolutely relate and
two: my future in laws think my fiance is the Bank of America.

For some reason they seem to feel that we have all this money and EXPECT him to provide them with ridiculous amounts at all times.

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amen sister, amen. and its not like we have millions saved, i mean, we have a lot saved in my book, but its for aour wedding. and to say you'll pay me back, is that supposed to make it easier. its the principle of it...

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I'm right there with ya, I mean if someone is really in a spot, I'm the first one to help out and we certainly aren't going to not buy gifts for people b/c we're getting married. I think it's just the notion that we're shooting dollar bills out of our u know what that's pissin me off.

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girl, you nailed it on the head. i'm so angry at the sitauation....i told fh tell them yes now, but its never going to happen again. and christmas, HA!! they'll be lucky to get a card from me.....

your FIL's borrow money from YOU??? WHY??

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Posted by dleeny

your FIL's borrow money from YOU??? WHY??

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sorry, should have been a wee bit more specific...its my fh and my savings acct for our wedding. so its not really just my $$, its ours....and yes they asked to borrow $$$ from us...they have no idea how to do a budget so they ask us..

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Posted by dleeny

your FIL's borrow money from YOU??? WHY??

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Well if they're 'borrowing' you're in a better position than me, these people expect him to give them money and it's no loan; it's money that they deserve,need,earned, etc.,

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Posted by Swan06

Don't they know that your saving up for a wedding? How inconsiderate!!!! Some people are something else!!! But it's not their fault. Your Fm has to tell them no!

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that is exactly what this account is for..the wedding. not for mil and fil to take what they need, when they have a bill to pay.....and yes, he;s telling them yes this last time and then i'm done

I definitely have the same problem just not with the FIL's. My problem is with my sisters. My 2 older sisters are stay at home mom's and dont work and my little sister is a senior in college and has no job. So when holidays or birthdays roll around they just assume I'm going to cover everything for my parents presents. It becomes very frustrating especially because they know I'm trying to pay for a wedding! My sister just closed on a new house and had to borrow money from me for that...I couldn't tell FH because he would've killed me if he knew I took money from our account. You get used to it though. It's just alot of weight to be put on one person shoulders.

I would try to nip this in the bud now before it gets out of hand. What is that saying?? something like, if you give an inch they will take a foot.

Please be careful and be a united front with your DH.

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Posted by lrs2005

I know you did not ask for this opinion, but I would tell them no, not now and not ever will we be your ATM. unless someone is in the hospital, dying, will loose the house, or dire emergency will we give $. Otherwise it will never end and they will always take advantage of you and guilt trip you.

I am sorry if I sound harsh but this is from experience.

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no i agree...i told him to say that this is the last time...they should not be asking their children for money, EVER!! as far as emergencies, i'll do whatever it takes, but if you are not responsibel enough to get your sh!t together..you got bigger problems.