Heres the story - FH has 2 sisters. One is 19 the other is 24. 24 just had a baby in May and FILs keeping busting our chops about having the baby at the wedding. Well he cant come cause he will only be 11/2 years old and it is a night time wedding plus I DONT WANT KIDS AT THE WEDDING. but they say there should be an exception cause he is our nephew. Now my mom is getting mad cause my FILs are making me so upset. Next . . . FILs hate the baby's father (actually whole family hates him) but FSIL is still dating him and he is in the baby's life. We are inviting the other sister with a guest and all the cousins that are in the same age range with guests. Now FMIL told me to invite the other FSIL with a guest and then I have to call her and tell her that she can bring anyone besides the baby's father!!!! Can you believe it - she wants me to call her I was stunned. Its none of my business and I told FMIL that - so she talked to FH and asked him to do it. What should we do?
2003fallwedding
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
I would stay out of it. If FMIL doesn't want the baby's father to be there, she should tell her daughter that, not your or FH. Your FMIL should not put your and your FH in that position.
nferrandi
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You are not allowed to tell people who they can/can't bring as a date. If your FMIL feels so strongly about it, than she needs to talk to her own daughter, it is not you or FH place to have that conversation and if I were either of you, I would flat out refuse. JMO.
Aw I am sorry they are being so difficult for you. I would either put my foot down on what you want done, or let them handle it all. Hmmm I guess I am not very decisive either.
kel2004
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
That is absurd. You cannot invite someone with a guest and then dictate who that guest can or can't be. Your FMIL is being ridiculous and immature. Why do others think they can determine the guest list???
divabride
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
I agree with the other brides. If your FMIL doesnt want baby daddy there, then let her tell her daughter. That's not a decision for anyone to make because if you invite 'and guest' its up to the invited to choosed whomever they'd like. As for children, stand stong on this because if anyone else gets wind of one child beign there, but their child cant come, it will just stir trouble. No children - no exceptions.
MegLehner
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
Posted by divabride
As for children, stand stong on this because if anyone else gets wind of one child beign there, but their child cant come, it will just stir trouble. No children - no exceptions.
Thats what I have been telling them - but they dont seem to get it. I told the FSIL that the baby was not invited and she said 'well, did you talk to my father about that?' I was like OMG . . . I thought she would understand, but she didnt Maybe ill have FH talk to his rents and explain to them that we are inviting her with a guest and if they dont want the baby's father there then they can tell her themselves. FH & I were joking that we would put FSIL & guest (anyone but ****) on the invite.
Pookiesangel
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
Posted by nferrandi
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You are not allowed to tell people who they can/can't bring as a date. If your FMIL feels so strongly about it, than she needs to talk to her own daughter, it is not you or FH place to have that conversation and if I were either of you, I would flat out refuse. JMO.
I second that.. (JMO)
bride2B04
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
i have an idea!!! tell your FIL's that you will tell her ONLY IF you can tell her that babys father cant come if he is staying home with the baby (sine you dont want any kids there)
does that make sense? it solves both problems
FLaCaTaCa
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
Sounds like something my IL's would do to be honest.
DivaBride could not have said it any better!
MOHmissy
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
Posted by Pookiesangel
Posted by nferrandi
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You are not allowed to tell people who they can/can't bring as a date. If your FMIL feels so strongly about it, than she needs to talk to her own daughter, it is not you or FH place to have that conversation and if I were either of you, I would flat out refuse. JMO.
I second that.. (JMO)
I third!! that is beyond ridiculous!
kathy2176
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Re: FILs really getting on my NERVES (long)
I agree with everyone else. FMIL telling you to dictate who your guests bring is rediculous. As for the kids thing. Well, I always said I didn't want kids at my wedding. I had to make an exception for my FH's neices and nephews (7 of them between ages 17 and 1 1/2). I am not having any kids on my side. I looked at it this way, if my sister had kids, wouldn't I want them there? Of course I would. So, that is how we are working it. My cousin's kids aren't invited but, his siblings kids are. There is a difference. That is JMO.
