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Finance question!
abc7077 Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:12 PM+
abc7077 MEMBER SINCE: 4/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1143 WEDDING DATE: Dec 07, 2002
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:12 PM bride-minus.png

Finance question!

For those of you who have established careers and have been working and independent for a long time, are you having difficulty with the idea of putting all of your money in one account once you are married. I feel like I am going to lose my independence and the freedom to buy things on a whim. Are you all doing all joint accounts or some separate and some joint? Are you going to save any money for your own account to spend on whatever you may want like a present for FH or your family etc. Thanks for your thoughts!
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dcbride Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:16 PM+
dcbride MEMBER SINCE: 5/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1174 WEDDING DATE: Sep 01, 2003
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:16 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

We still have a year to work this out but FH and I are going to keep some money seperate.
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abc7077 Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:20 PM+
abc7077 MEMBER SINCE: 4/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1143 WEDDING DATE: Dec 07, 2002
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:20 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

How did you reason this with your fh? My fh said we are entering a 'partnership' and he would really question it if I wanted separate money of my own. I don't really know how to explain it to him without sounding negative about our 'partnership' before it even starts.
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aug9bride Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:37 PM+
aug9bride MEMBER SINCE: 3/02 TOTAL POSTS : 943 WEDDING DATE: Aug 09, 2002
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:37 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

We
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abc7077 Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:56 PM+
abc7077 MEMBER SINCE: 4/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1143 WEDDING DATE: Dec 07, 2002
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 05:56 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

Aug9, do you have separate accounts?
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chmlengr Posted: Sep 14, 2002 06:14 PM+
chmlengr MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 4078 WEDDING DATE: May 11, 2002
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 06:14 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

That's kind of something most couples have to deal with. Both my hubby and I were working and on our own for a while before getting engaged and married. We did not open up a new joint account - what we did was esentially make our own accounts joint, i.e., I put his name on mine and he put my name on his - but we didn't do thins until after we were married and I changed my name. However, we only did that for cash checking purposes and not so much to do things jointly. We established who pays for what and so far it's worked out wonderfully and we each make our own money to buy things we want for ourselves. When we do have children though, I am staying at home to raise them, so it's then when access to his account will be necessary.
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Becky Posted: Sep 14, 2002 06:34 PM+
Becky MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 2075 WEDDING DATE: Jul 05, 2003
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 06:34 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

FH and I both still have our 'own' accounts. Really, my name is on his account, but his isn't on mine. We get paid on the same day, so when pay day comes around, I take most of the money from his account and transfer it to mine to pay the bills. He wants a certain amount of money to play with, which I leave in his account. I don't know what he does with it and I don't care. I am crazy anal about finances, so he never even asks how much is in my/our account, the wedding fund or savings, because he knows that I have every penny accounted for. He is a little financially irresponsible so was glad to hand over the reigns so to speak. But we really think of all of the money as ours and all of the accounts as ours, so it hasn't been a big deal. But, I definitely think everyone needs some money they can spend without having to clear it with their partner.
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curly2003 Posted: Sep 14, 2002 08:46 PM+
curly2003 MEMBER SINCE: 6/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6619 WEDDING DATE: Sep 26, 2003
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 08:46 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

We already have a joint account so that will stay the same. We both have individual savings and I want to keep it that way too. I say joint checking, seperate savings. We share almost everything already. But he's entitled to spend some $$ his way and I my way.
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jennbaby Posted: Sep 14, 2002 10:00 PM+
jennbaby MEMBER SINCE: 9/01 TOTAL POSTS : 29573 WEDDING DATE: May 17, 2003
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 10:00 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

we have seperate checking accounts now & 1 joint account for our wedding finances.
after we are married, there will be 1 joint account period & i will be in charge
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wedbabe Posted: Sep 14, 2002 11:38 PM+
wedbabe MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 547 WEDDING DATE: Nov 16, 2002
Posted: Sep 14, 2002 11:38 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

The same for us jennbaby! There's no way FH is going to write the bills out, his handwriting is too sloppy!! LOL!!
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cluelessbride Posted: Sep 15, 2002 11:28 AM+
cluelessbride MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 4570 WEDDING DATE: Oct 23, 2004
Posted: Sep 15, 2002 11:28 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

I hadn't even thought about it - we've been living together for a couple of years already and keep separate checking and saving accounts. He pays some bills, I pay others. We do also have a joint mutual fund for house savings. But I think in any situation it's good to have something shared, and something separate - and both the wife and the hubsand should know where their money is going (bills, savings, investments, etc.)
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michele31 Posted: Sep 15, 2002 11:39 AM+
michele31 MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 10673 WEDDING DATE: Nov 02, 2002 WEDDING LOCATION: Tavern on the Green
Posted: Sep 15, 2002 11:39 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

Money is one of the most difficults things to work out in a marriage. Both people need to be very open and honest about debt, outstanding credit lines, earnings, savings, as well as spending habits. some people are huge savers, while others will spend without much thought. I NEVER combined money or any other finanicial things until Scott and I got engaged. We have a joint savings account, and put the other person on our checking accounts. I still have my paycheck put into my account, he into his. But has our engagement has gone on, he has taken over the bill paying (THANK GOD) because I hate doing it. I still KNOW where the money goes and have full access to my accounts. After the wedding we are going to sit down and figure out which checking account to keep open, but we will each maintain a private savings account for personal spending. I think that is important too. My advise is to really, really discuss money and finances with your FH before getting married. Scott and I do not have a huge problem because he knows I earn my own money and he does not complain when I spend it on a manicure/shoes etc..If he did, I doubt I would be so eager to combine paychecks. Sit down, discuss your feelings and also discuss attitutudes about when and if you stay home to raise a family.
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OCT1203 Posted: Sep 15, 2002 11:54 AM+
OCT1203 MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1062 WEDDING DATE: Oct 12, 2003
Posted: Sep 15, 2002 11:54 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

We have been living together for almost 3 yrs. When we knew we were going to get married and have to start saving for the wedding (May '01) we came up with a budget for everything (even going out money and presents) and then combined our money into one joint account. This way we are both paying for everything and we do feel like it is more of a 'partership'. Also I don't have to wait for him to give me the money or wonder if he remembered to pay cable bill. Instead I'm in charge of doing the finaces and it has worked out great for us, but it did take getting used too! I can't just go out and buy a new TV anymore like I was use too. Now you have to discuss everything before you do it, but that's part of the marriage process.

My MOH got married last May and she still keeps everything separate, but she says he has bad spending habits. I guess it depends on how you and your FH are with finaces and whatever works for the both of you and makes you both feel comfortable. Sorry so long!
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zac1228 Posted: Sep 15, 2002 07:03 PM+
zac1228 MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 350 WEDDING DATE: May 24, 2003
Posted: Sep 15, 2002 07:03 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

We are actually keeping everything separate and maybe putting something small together (for savings) but not much. We have already been living together for 2 years and this has worked well up to now. And neither one of us wants to put our money together and have it become and issue (I like to shop alot and FH is a huge saver.)
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jpsgirl Posted: Sep 15, 2002 08:14 PM+
jpsgirl MEMBER SINCE: 3/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1888 WEDDING DATE: Oct 12, 2002
Posted: Sep 15, 2002 08:14 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

we haven't spoken about it, but we will probably have a joint checking and savings, but I think I will keep my current checking account as well.
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karen32 Posted: Sep 15, 2002 08:48 PM+
karen32 MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 4562 WEDDING DATE: Oct 25, 2003
Posted: Sep 15, 2002 08:48 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

I think we're going to try and put most things together, with small separate savings accounts. I already have a mortgage on my own, and there's a certain sense of security in knowing I can pay all/most of the bills on one paycheck. Our goal is to bank his entire paycheck so that we can sell my condo and buy a bigger house, and hopefully I can stay home after the kids come. I think as long as you have common financial goals, it's okay to keep some separate and some together. This is something you DEFINITELY need to discuss before the wedding - if you have completely opposite money habits you need to be aware of that and plan accordingly.
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yabbobay Posted: Sep 16, 2002 05:46 AM+
yabbobay MEMBER SINCE: 5/01 TOTAL POSTS : 14690 WEDDING DATE: Dec 28, 1992
Posted: Sep 16, 2002 05:46 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

we both have separate accounts (which have been dwindling since the wedding day)

we both keep some money in our separate accounts, but most of the paychecks go into the joint account...

DH was more than happy to have me take over bill paying.
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dcbride Posted: Sep 16, 2002 10:44 AM+
dcbride MEMBER SINCE: 5/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1174 WEDDING DATE: Sep 01, 2003
Posted: Sep 16, 2002 10:44 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

abc7077- this setup was actually FH's idea- He read it in Money magazine or something-- I think he still has the article-- if he does I will post it. I am glad he suggested it- because I still want to be able to splurge on things that he will think are a waste and I am sure he will do the same.
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MarcellaBella Posted: Sep 16, 2002 10:48 AM+
MarcellaBella MEMBER SINCE: 7/02 TOTAL POSTS : 7370 WEDDING DATE: Aug 09, 2003
Posted: Sep 16, 2002 10:48 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

well actually we've decided to keep our individual accounts and FH had a separate account he used for my e-ring that we are now using to allocate money for the wedding.. but we will be using that account after the wedding for saving for a home..
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ddunne23 Posted: Sep 16, 2002 10:54 AM+
ddunne23 MEMBER SINCE: 7/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2060 WEDDING DATE: Dec 29, 2002
Posted: Sep 16, 2002 10:54 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Finance question!

We are going to open one joint account for those joint expenses and each keep our own checking accounts for play money.
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