Finances in Marriage

the future mrs m Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:01 PM

Finances in Marriage

Ok, so my FH and I have spoken about this alot. He says we should just combine everything.

Let me also add, my mom put a down payment on a house for me last yr (5 bed, 3 1/2 bath, sunroom, kit, living rm, dining rm, and breakfast room and its on an acre of land) My point in describing it is that WE WON'T BE MOVING. My mom also pays the ridiculous mortgage right now b/c Im in school. The house is in my name but I we plan on adding his AFTER we are married (any advice on this issue) even though he's moving in in 3 months. I just dont want to addd his name til we have the same last name.

I read a book once that said the best way to deal w/ money in marriage (also what my parents did) was to have one household checking account which bills are paid from and a joint savings account. In addition each person can maintain their own acounts if they want as long as the bulk of the money goes in the household account.

What do you think?

How are you dealing with finances in your marriage?

Mssissy Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:04 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

We have a house checking account and we each have our own accounts.

stephanielyse Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:06 PM

.

Kara and Todd Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:08 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

Posted by the future mrs m

Ok, so my FH and I have spoken about this alot. He says we should jus ombine everything.

I read a book once that said the best way to deal w/ money in marriage (also what my parents did) was to have one household checking account which bills are paid from and a joint savings account. In addition each person can maintain their own acounts if they want as long as the bulk of the money goes in the household account.

What do you think?

How are you dealing with finances in your marriage?

1. I would never trust a book that says there is only one right way to handle finances in a marriage. Everyone is different.

2. I would do what works for BOTH of you. You both have to be comfortable and happy with the situation.

PERSONALLY, and I realize that does not work for everyone, I would never stand for having any separate finances from my FH. In fact, right now, all of our finances are combined, so nothing will change after we are married. Aside from our 401(k)s, which are obviously individual accounts, everything is joint. We don't fight over money - we bickered more about it when we had separate accounts... However, we both handle money very similarly and have similar financial goals.

There is no 'right' answer here - No one can tell you what is right for you. You and your FH need to sit down and have a looooooong talk about how you both feel about finances before making any decisions.

You'll figure out what works for you.

the future mrs m Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:11 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

We have discussed it alot. I just really wanted to see how other people deal in their houses. What has been beneficial / what has not.

And I do realize this is a very persoal arrangement and there's no single solution.
Thanks for your comments.

chatxleau24 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:14 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

two words ... PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT!!!

and we're combining expenses.

empressdani Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:15 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

My FH and I are also going to do the combined checking and savings while also maintaining separate personal checking accounts. As long as there are sufficient funds in the shared accounts, then I don't particularly care what he does with his money. I think it'll save some petty arguments like 'Why are you buying so many Yankee hats?'LOL.

If there is any worry of mismanagement then you both have to be willing to agree to openly disclose any questionable purchases if /when asked.

Mooshyboo Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:22 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

We purchased our house together in September 2005 and have kept everything seperate (We have a house checking and our own personal checking and savings) until we get married. We recently just had a talk about this & I take care of my checking and savings and the house bills & house checking (which is driving me crazy because I just don't have the time to balance each account) so we are in the process of merging our personal checking accounts and keep our own savings + we have a wedding/house saving fund... good luck! I think it really depends on you as a couple and how you want to handle it ~ I know so many couples that handle everything so differently! Good Luck!

NY2Cincinnati Posted: Mar 13, 2007 08:08 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

Right now FH and I have a combined savings account and seperate checking accounts which will be joined once we get married. We moved into a house in Dec. but only FH name is on the mortage so we could get a real low interest rate which is fine with me. We both have the same ideas when it comes to money but every once in a while one of us wants to spend money that we don't need to so we have to work it out.

queenb07 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 08:13 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

Right now we have separate accounts but we plan to get a joint checking account soon. We talk about our savings goals and even though I have all the wedding money, he'll be added to my savings account. We're probably keeping separate accounts with a communal account for house expenses and joint savings. We also try to save the same amount of money in the same types of accounts. As many others have said, do what works best for you.

nmagel Posted: Mar 13, 2007 09:30 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

we each have our own checking and savings accounts and split all household bills 50/50.

Nlynn Posted: Mar 13, 2007 09:37 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

Posted by Mssissy

We have a house checking account and we each have our own accounts.

Same here!

snowcutie82 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 09:41 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

my boss and her husband have their own checking accounts...she pays for anything that relates to the kids and food and he pays all the 'house' and car bills. and they have a joint savings acct.

like everyone said it all depends on what works for u and whats easiest.

we live together and split the 'house' bills...so we created a joint acct just for those bills...either that way fh can either give me cash/checks or deposit things himself. that way u can keep track easier.

portjeffbride Posted: Mar 13, 2007 09:43 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

If I were in your position.....

If you're not moving into that house, I'd sign it over to your mom, since it really is hers anyway.... then get married, combine your finances as you and FH see fit, and pull together a deposit on your own....

the future mrs m Posted: Mar 13, 2007 10:34 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

the house was a gift to me from mom and its in my name--i ve had to make alot of sacrifices throughout hs and college and rad shool as my parents both had medical issues. so as a gift and acknowledgement my mom bought the house.
:)
Also we already live in the house.

Elizabeth427 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 10:49 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

I totally believe in combining money and accounts but my mother gave me probably the best piece of advice i may get in my life in regards to finances and marriage. shes been happily married for 28 years but she has a savings account that my father doesnt know about where every week she puts maybe ten bucks in. that way if something ever happened(divorce, sickness, unexpected death) to my father she has money to rely on and knows shell still be able to keep up any bills that may come at her way. where as if it was just in a joint account, most likely it would have just meshed in with all the other money and been spent on something else. and hopefully if none of those bad things ever happen throughout marriage all that extra money can go towards retirement! i plan on doing the same.

portjeffbride Posted: Mar 13, 2007 11:03 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

Posted by the future mrs m

the house was a gift to me from mom and its in my name--i ve had to make alot of sacrifices throughout hs and college and rad shool as my parents both had medical issues. so as a gift and acknowledgement my mom bought the house.
:)
Also we already live in the house.

oh, sorry... I completely misunderstood!

You said you didn't want to live there anymore after you're married?

snydl40 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 11:05 PM

Re: Finances in Marriage

We are combining everything. I really want it this way. I have a big law suit settlement from when I was three years old and got bit by my parent's friend's Doberman Pincher-I NEVER touch this $-even for the wedding-I act like it doesn't exist. FH says I should keep it for myself, but when I marry him, it will be forever-neither of us believe in divorce. It may be naive, but I would rather be poor and happy, then rich and miserable.

jeanla4c Posted: Mar 14, 2007 10:30 AM

Re: Finances in Marriage

Very personal decision...I know many ways married couples do this and all work for them (one even keeps EVERYTHING separate and is happy that way...)

We have combined almost everything, our checking account, savings are all mutual fund accounts. We have one joint credit card and maintained one separate credit card each (to buy each other gifts, etc.). Had similar house issue since DH bought his house years before we were engaged...he added me to the lease after we were married and my name was changed. Good Luck!