First Vent Here....

CindyLee Posted: May 12, 2003 03:58 PM

First Vent Here....

Okay, I'm hoping to get a little sympathy from some of you girls.

I was just informed that my sister, my only sister, will not be able to come to my baby shower because she can't take two days off in a row. Mind you, people, this woman lives in Weston, CT, in a beautiful house, and this job, at Borders Book Store, is a job, where she can hang her hat for a bit...not a career based job, where it would be a big deal not to be there. Trust me, she can afford to take more than one day off in a week.

Of course, this is supposed to a surprise shower, so I don't know when it is, but the whole thing is that I'm fairly upset that she won't be coming ... and that means that my three neices won't be there either.

I'm very sensitive these days...crying at work is not a good thing!!!

Thanks for letting me share....

Cindy

anna Posted: May 12, 2003 04:01 PM

Re: First Vent Here....

Thats SO SAD !!!! I would definately say something to her, maybe she will come around, maybe she will change her mind. Let her know how hurt you are and how much this means to you !

michele31 Posted: May 12, 2003 04:08 PM

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I would be very upset if my only sister missed my baby shower too! Did your Mom tell you? Is your sister jealous or unable to handle you having a child right now? I mean, is she TTC or was she hoping to have a baby by now? Sounds like she is trying NOT to come for some reason. I am really sorry that this is going to hurt you.

HeatherandNick Posted: May 12, 2003 04:35 PM

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I agree with Anna. Talk tp her about how much it will mean to you to have her there and maybe shewill have a change of heart

natasha Posted: May 12, 2003 05:17 PM

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I would be hurt by that. Talk to her. I am hoping that she will surprise you and show up.

NuBride Posted: May 12, 2003 05:46 PM

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That's too bad and something smells bad too, I am sure there is more to it than meets the eye, I know you are hurt and very emotional but it sounds like you are jumping the gun before you find out the real reason, like jumping on her job and venting that it's a 'job' and not a career is a little harsh.

Hopefully you will find out soon what's behind this and I hope when you do , it will be resolved between the both of you. Good Luck.

phyl Posted: May 12, 2003 07:42 PM

Re: First Vent Here....

give her a call and tell her your are hurt. ASK if there is ANYTHING else that is preventing her from coming...how this occasion only happens once, etc

CindyLee Posted: May 13, 2003 09:26 AM

Re: First Vent Here....

Hi Girls,

Thanks for all your words.

The truth is, I know my sister, and her not coming is not directly related to me. She has her own 'issues' and doesn't know how to deal with them, therefore, she doesn't know how to 'show up' for me or others, for that matter.

After the party has happened, I will, like I've done in the past, express my disappointment that she wasn't there.

I have five beautiful sister-in-laws that are throwing this 'surprise' party for me, or really, for the baby, and I know that the people that do show up are the people that are exactly who is supposed to be there....

I have to remember that not everything is about me...lol....

Thanks everyone!!! And thanks for making me feel like I belong here with this.

Cindy

michele31 Posted: May 13, 2003 11:56 AM

Re: First Vent Here....

This might sound a tad harsh but is NOT meant to; maybe you need to help your sister thru some of her issues right now. I know you have the baby coming and your plate is probably full but maybe your sister needs you. Sometimes people do not always do the right thing- such as come to their only sister's baby shower- but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you or need you.

NIHA Posted: May 13, 2003 12:08 PM

Re: First Vent Here....

I totally understand where you're coming from and I'm sorry about this. My best friend of 17 years will not be at my shower b/c of a fall out between her and another friend. I posted about this a few weeks ago. Even though she's not my sister, it's a similar situation to what you said: my friend has some personal issues which are preventing her from attending. She has made it very clear to me that she is afraid of having a breakdown if she sees my other friend. So, I know it's not me, especially since she said she will come visit me and spend time after the shower. She is not attending so that she doesn't possibly embarrass herself or me or anyone else. It's hard to understand and I still feel a little hurt about it, but I'm trying to accept the situation.
(((hugs)))

Elizabeth Posted: May 13, 2003 12:14 PM

Re: First Vent Here....

I'm sure there's a history there that cannot be conveyed in 2 paragraphs on this board so I will just give you a {{{BIG HUG}}}

You're shower will be BEAUTIFUL and I'm glad you can focus on who will be there vs. who will not be there. Still, I'm sorry your sis and nieces will not be there.

CindyLee Posted: May 13, 2003 02:24 PM

Re: First Vent Here....

Again, I appreciate all your shares.

I think that the best thing to do in this situation is nothing for the moment.

Elizabeth knows more than she wants to share....just as long she's there....LOL...I know the shower will be a hit.

Thanks......for all the hugs!!!!

Niha, I'm sorry about your friend! Just remember, who ever shows up for either of us at the showers will be there because they truly care about us ... and the baby, of course!!!

michele31 Posted: May 13, 2003 02:37 PM

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Cindy- I am SURE I will be posting something about someone in DH's family not showing up to my shower so just know that this happens to all of us. You are never alone.

CindyLee Posted: May 13, 2003 02:53 PM

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Thanks Michelle, I know exactly what you mean!!!!

Kathi Posted: May 13, 2003 03:44 PM

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Sorry, Cindy! Maybe your sister will change her plans?? Is that still a possibility? If you were to tell her now that you'd be hurt, would it matter to her?

I have 5 sisters, 1 of whom I'm not getting along with (at all!!!!!!!) and I almost *wish* (a bit harsh) she wasn't going to be at my shower!! I'm kind of dreading it, actually.

I know exactly what you mean about being emotional now. I cried like a baby when my DH called me from work on Mother's Day to say he got stuck working a double!!! So, he left for work at 4 a.m. and got home at 10 p.m. Totally out of his control, but it sukkkkkkked for me!!!!!! At least my mom had a beautiful brunch w/ her kids!

Eek, this got long!! No matter what happens, or who's there, we'll all have beautiful showers!!