FI's grandma is sick, FI wants to know if we can get married in FL when we visit for Christmas!?!
Original post by LMFitz
OK - so Gram is dying, may have anywhere between 3 and 6 months (we found this out on Thanksgiving - lucky us). This morning, FI asks me if I'd be willing to get married in a small ceremony when we're down in Florida for Christmas so Gram can be there. Our wedding isn't for another 18 months - so this would be moving it up substantially (although we're already engaged for almost a year now).
My first reaction is that I don't want to get married without my mom and sister there - even if we do still have a big reception in May of 2006 as planned. Am I being selfish? I certainly want to be sensitive to the fact that he's upset about the recent news about his grandmother, but it just doesn't feel right to get married - with only his family present (my mom and sister probably can't make it down there with us). Plus I lose out on all the things that I've been envisioning for so long now - the dress, the church, the ceremony - all in front of our friends and family. I know those things aren't important - and I would love to be his wife asap - but....I just don't know.
He's always had a special connection with his grandmother, mostly because he's her first grandchild - and I really do want to make her (and him) happy. I'm just not sure about the whole thing...
Any thoughts you have are appreciated. And please tell me if I'm being selfish. I know it would be great for his family, but I feel like I would short-change my family (and me).
salsbride06
Posted:
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Re: FI's grandma is sick, FI wants to know if we can get married in FL when we visit for Christmas!?!
that really is a tough one....i dont even know what to tell you. my first thought would be to reject the idea but then you have to fell sympathetic.....good lcuk with this one
janwinterbridejoy
Posted:
Member since
Re: FI's grandma is sick, FI wants to know if we can get married in FL when we visit for Christmas!?!
this is a really hard thing to have to go through you should give it alot of thought. i dont think your being selfish for wanting to have your family by your side when you get married.you have seriously put yourself in your fhs shoes and understand how you would feel if you were in his postion. that may help you feel a little better. maybe you can come to some kind of compromise if your family cant make it down to florida for the cermony you can always have another cermony with your family the day you had planned. i wouldnt want to be in your shoes. im sure you will make the right choice for you
edited to say discuss it with your family maybe if they fully understand how important this is to your fiance they can try and make it down to florida with you
LuckyMe
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Re: FI's grandma is sick, FI wants to know if we can get married in FL when we visit for Christmas!?!
That's a hard call. In my opinion though I say do it and then do it again as planned. Don't give up the dress and everything. Alot of people elope first and then have the church wedding too and reception. If it's going to mean that much to FH think hard about it. Your getting married in the first place because you love each other right and sometimes compromise is part of that. As your mom and sister if there was anyway they could go maybe the answer will surprise you. Good Luck and no matter what you deceide your friends here will support you
tinkerwdw
Posted:
Member since
Re: FI's grandma is sick, FI wants to know if we can get married in FL when we visit for Christmas!?!
I think this is a really big decision, and I can feel with your FH because my own grandmother is very sick right now, and probably will not make it to our wedding. I do not agree, however, that you should move the date up. This is something that happens only once in your lifetime, and you learn a lot about your relationship during the planning, etc. I feel that if you rush it up, you would be taking away from this experience as a couple. Also, I know I would be very upset to not have my own mother and close family present.
Why not just have a small enegagment party with his close family, and then maybe all attend a mass together where you could get blessed together?
