FI's Participation in Planning

How much has your FI participated in the planning process? My FI told me we have to wait til after the Superbowl before we can start looking at RH's!!

I have a feeling me and my mom are going to do a lot of narrowing down and then he'll help pick when I shorten all the vendors.

my FH has done just about.....oh, nothing. And it's fine. Don't let anyone tell you that he doesn't care or he's not being fair or whatever. Some girls get very lucky and have FHs who love to do this stuff (planning), but most do not and that's totally ok.

Do not think for once that he isn't excited about the wedding. He is, and when the day comes he'll be there with bells on. But between now and then he sounds like most other grooms-to-be. Just tell him where and when to show up and he'll be there.

That said, maybe ask him if there's any particular part of the planning that he'd like to make 'his' project. For example, my FH was only concerned with the honeymoon. Worked great for me. I'm a girly-girl and loved working on all the vendors to 'my' liking and picking out all the finer details. So if he wanted to book the honeymoon....great! One less thing for me to do.

Don't worry about him, just go with your mom or a BM, or even go alone to vendor appts. That's what I did. Then you can pick what/who you want and not worry about anyone else's opinions. It's your wedding, have fun!

ALL of it - he is just as into the wedding as i am which is nice.....we do everything together and we've had lots of fun....we've been taking our time and enjoying it - we got some great vendors like our photographer and videographer that we are both really excited about....

give him some time - he might get more into it as time goes on

im not trying to defend your FH... but you know how some men can be with football...especially playoffs, then superbowl..

you still have plenty of time to look... let him clear his head , then he should be all yours!!


if i was planning a wedding that interfered with football.. i would have the same problem !!

suprisingly mine has been all into it.....a little to much! he wants imput on everything! but we're splitting the cost so i guess its only fair......i try to give him jobs....like his job was to start creating a song list, find DJ's to go see and research the honeymoon......everything else i hope i can just show him the 3 i like and then get his imput.......i know its a lot of work but having a less involved FI lets you do whatever you want without having to compromise! but then again i'm just a bit of a control freak!

as far as football.....you might be better off.....then you dont have to hear him ***** that hes missing some game to go look at wedding halls....that'll only cause a bigger fight

Hey
Well, My FH has been very involved so far but we have been taking our time we got engaged july first and just booked a hall a week or two ago. My FH is also a huge football fan so I make sure not to make any apts on Sundays unless it something I am goign to do without him otherwise he would complain or not come. I would wait till after football( Its almost over thank god!) or see of you can make apts on other days when the game isnt on.
My MOH just got engaged and booked her hall and her FH hasnt even seen it. It really depends ont he person some guys are involved other arent. If it bothers you then try talking to him and tell him how important it is for you and how you would like for himt o get involved. maybe make some compromises or maybe give him some time and he will get involved. It really depends on the person.
HTH

We picked out our RH together. And pretty much the Vendors we have been looking we have done everything together! I wouldn't have it anyway else!

ps: if u just got engaged, sometimes it's nice to just wait a little bit & just enjoy soaking it all in we had gotten engaged in november and didn't start our planning untill after all the holidays in january(EXCEPT out RH...we did that right away..but after that we held off with everything else). as hard as it was not to be so anxious & jump into planning it was nice to just see ideas & just enjoy that time

I totally agree with you. I just want to book the RH and church and everything else can wait. I'm ok waiting a few weeks and enjoying our new engagement anyway.

I am not worried, I have plenty of time! I'm thinking we may pick a date in November or Dec. 2008 and in that case I'd like to step on it so I know how quickly things need to be done.

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Posted by jtgarsik

he went to the main vendor meetings with me...RH, church, photographers, video, & DJ..he didn't care about anything else really lol. but that was fine with me. As long as he helped with the main stuff... it was actually easier to handle all the girly detailed stuff on my own & then just ask his opinion.

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Ditto! I drag him to major appts (photo and dj only----he would NEVER go meet w/ a florist!!!). He also came to look at RH's....but never on a Sunday bc of football....Aside from that...I get to do the rest, which is fine, bc he has horrible taste. If he picked everything out, we would have like an 80's heavy metal or video game theme.

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Posted by missliss

my FH has done just about.....oh, nothing. And it's fine. Don't let anyone tell you that he doesn't care or he's not being fair or whatever. Some girls get very lucky and have FHs who love to do this stuff (planning), but most do not and that's totally ok.

Do not think for once that he isn't excited about the wedding. He is, and when the day comes he'll be there with bells on. But between now and then he sounds like most other grooms-to-be. Just tell him where and when to show up and he'll be there.

That said, maybe ask him if there's any particular part of the planning that he'd like to make 'his' project. For example, my FH was only concerned with the honeymoon. Worked great for me. I'm a girly-girl and loved working on all the vendors to 'my' liking and picking out all the finer details. So if he wanted to book the honeymoon....great! One less thing for me to do.

Don't worry about him, just go with your mom or a BM, or even go alone to vendor appts. That's what I did. Then you can pick what/who you want and not worry about anyone else's opinions. It's your wedding, have fun!

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ditto on every single thing... except the HM, i'm taking care of that myself!

but don't be bothered about it, like missliss said! girls whose fh's are into it are really lucky, but it doesn't mean yours doesn't care.

i can't even get FH to help me make dinner or vacation plans no less help with WEDDING stuff the only reason i knew he was proposing to me was bc he took the initiative to plan the hot air balloon ride over napa that we'd talked about as part of our roadtrip (which was otherwise handled exclusively by me).

'whatever you want, babe.' i kinda like it that way

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Posted by missliss

my FH has done just about.....oh, nothing. And it's fine. Don't let anyone tell you that he doesn't care or he's not being fair or whatever. Some girls get very lucky and have FHs who love to do this stuff (planning), but most do not and that's totally ok.

Do not think for once that he isn't excited about the wedding. He is, and when the day comes he'll be there with bells on. But between now and then he sounds like most other grooms-to-be. Just tell him where and when to show up and he'll be there.

That said, maybe ask him if there's any particular part of the planning that he'd like to make 'his' project. For example, my FH was only concerned with the honeymoon. Worked great for me. I'm a girly-girl and loved working on all the vendors to 'my' liking and picking out all the finer details. So if he wanted to book the honeymoon....great! One less thing for me to do.

Don't worry about him, just go with your mom or a BM, or even go alone to vendor appts. That's what I did. Then you can pick what/who you want and not worry about anyone else's opinions. It's your wedding, have fun!

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very well said miss liss!!

My FH may be more into it than I am!