Our flower girl (FH niece) would have been just under 2 at the time of our wedding, but we didn't want to have her at the reception, she is not the most well behaved child (not to mention that she would be the ONLY child there) and there is alot of family tension that revolves around FSIL and FFIL and FSIL likes to dangle the baby in FFIL face to kind of torture him. So we figured that because of the drama she not attend the reception. But being that she was the only blood niece we should include her in the ceremony. FSIL and FH are in a huge fight now and she has withdrawn the baby from the wedding. We told FSIL to do whatever she felt was necessary and if that meant not having the baby participate then okay. But I was just wondering what the other brides felt about this...
portjeffbride
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
Personally, I think anyone in the bridal party should be able to go to the reception.... even if they're in their terrible 2's......
then again, I don't mind having a bunch of gremlins in the reception. It's the parents' jobs to ensure she doesn't terrorize others....
joan_db
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
Posted by portjeffbride
Personally, I think anyone in the bridal party should be able to go to the reception.... even if they're in their terrible 2's......
then again, I don't mind having a bunch of gremlins in the reception. It's the parents' jobs to ensure she doesn't terrorize others....
LOL.... All closest family kids (esp FSIL have 3) are invited to my reception and I hire a sitter/entertainer/magician's (whatever you call them) to bring them outside and do kids thing so they don't disturb other
Sept07Bride
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
I agree that the entire bridal party should be there, and if it weren't for the whole FFIL and FSIL drama I would have thought differently. FSIL and FFIL haven't spoken in 15 years. BUT FFIL and FH are extremely close. FSIL has admitted that she likes seeing FFIL squirm having his granddaughter there and not being able to touch her or talk to her. I just didn't want the baby being used as a weapon. Not to mention that FH really doesn't want his dad being uncomfortable. He feels this is a day that his dad should be proud and be having a good time. I don't know. I guess the damage is done now...
Added to that there are no other kids, not because we don't want them, there seriously are no other little kids in the family... well one newborn but those parents don't want him there!
femmes
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
Posted by Sept07Bride
I just need opinions:
Our flower girl (FH niece) would have been just under 2 at the time of our wedding, but we didn't want to have her at the reception, she is not the most well behaved child (not to mention that she would be the ONLY child there) and there is alot of family tension that revolves around FSIL and FFIL and FSIL likes to dangle the baby in FFIL face to kind of torture him. So we figured that because of the drama she not attend the reception. But being that she was the only blood niece we should include her in the ceremony. FSIL and FH are in a huge fight now and she has withdrawn the baby from the wedding. We told FSIL to do whatever she felt was necessary and if that meant not having the baby participate then okay. But I was just wondering what the other brides felt about this...
there is nothing wrong with that. the only potential FG I have is a major Pain in the A** that I actually left it up to the mother to decide if the next year she will not be difficult. She is so attached to her grandfather and all she does when people are around is scream and cry. I know it seems selfish in a sense, but she was screaming at 2 at my sis's wedding i cant see her not doing the same at mine. Its probably for the better that she is not in it.
menc
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
I think that they should not be excluded. I will have my nieces and nephews at my reception, but no other children(hopefully). I am thinking about hiring someone to keep an eye on them and entertain them a little so there parents can enjoy themselves and they don't get out of control. My suggesstion just tell them you thought about it and you want her there. I am sure she will not do anything drastic, plus there will be plenty of people there to keep her occupied. Good Luck
Flutterbye922
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
We left it up to the FG & RB parents whether or not they want to bring the kids. 2 of the kids will be at the church, not going to the receptionThe parents want to enjoy themselves and not have a kid clinging to their side!
LitBallerinaGirl
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
I think you should do what you and your FH agree to be the best without causing serious drama with the family! It's your time but of course you need to pick and choose yoru battles. We had only our RB and FG at our wedding. Our RB was 3 and FG was 5. They were both in pajamas before the reception even started and did not get in the way at all.
Sept07Bride
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
Posted by LitBallerinaGirl
I think you should do what you and your FH agree to be the best without causing serious drama with the family! It's your time but of course you need to pick and choose yoru battles. We had only our RB and FG at our wedding. Our RB was 3 and FG was 5. They were both in pajamas before the reception even started and did not get in the way at all.
Unfortunately either way there was drama....
Maybride519
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
I personally feel that they should be there unless the parents don't want them to be. My FG and RB were both a year and a half at the time of my wedding and they had a blast being able to run around and dance. I think it should be up to the parents since you want them to be in the bridal party.
DrWho
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
She's under 2 - shouldn't she be in bed by the time your reception rolls around? Maybe the cocktail hour, it's laid back, she's cute, people want to see, but receptions usually run a bit late for her age set, no?
emcheung
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
i kinda went through something similar with my brother and SIL. they wanted all three kids in the wedding, but the youngest will be a little over a year old for my wedding. other two will be 5 and 3. i think it is up to the parents whether they want their kids there or not. if they want to deal with a grumpy, sleepy child, then let them. leave it up to them. but since they're taking her out of the wedding, i wouldn't push the matter any further.
SylvieB
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
I think the entire bridal party should be allowed to go to the reception. A child that young may not be able to handle it, it is going to be a long day. Our son will be 17 months on the day of our wedding. I hired my regular daycare person to come pick him up 1 hour into the reception. My mom will then pick him up after the reception.
SusiBtoM
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
Under two is a little young for a FG, and especially one that doesn't behave. Will she walk down the aisle alone ? If the child is withdrawn from the wedding party, then she is not invited to the reception. Adults only. IF she is part of the wedding party, then she must attend the reception. Seat FSHIL and FFIL at separate tables to avoid conflicts. Just make it clear to FSIL that she must make sure the child is not out of control at the reception. Cannot blame the child if the mother is the problem. Maybe try some toys or books to keep her occupied for part of the time.
LoveBug1124
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
I have to agree I think she should be invited - it's the parents job to watch her - you shouldn't stress out about it - chances are you won't evne realize she is at the reception, between all the excitment, music and dancing.
Aug06
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
I agree that if she is in the ceremony she should be invited to the wedding. It sounds like maybe your FSIL withdrawing her from the wedding is a blessing though, it sounds to me like you might be better off without her involved at all.
redvelvet
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Re: Flower Girl at Reception
i have a huge family and all the children of family members ONLY will be invited. its up to the parents if they want to bring them. my FG, RB and 2 Jr GM will all be at recep. they will be btwn the ages of 7 & 9 at the time.
FSIL sounds a little on the mean side to use FG as a weapon. my only advise is to not let her flip flop on you (taking her daughter in and out of the wedding party).
