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FMIL and picking the date......

dazies1011 Posted:

FMIL and picking the date......

Ok so most od you know that we may have to postpone and do 2010. With that, it is popular to do Thursday night weddings. Well our 5 yr anniversay will fall on a thursday, April 1st. It would be perfect!!!!! Good Friday is the next day, so my co-workers will have off and so will alot of other people. I know passover is then, it'll be the secong night but, I think my father's side, 5 people, can make it. But here is the deal..... it is the anniversary of his grandmother's death. By then it'll be 6 or 7 years. His mom side her side won't show up, she doesn't think they will show up any date we pick, they live in Calif. So what is the problem? I think it'll be good so that she can have happy memories instead of always sad ones that day. I'm sorry but, my father has passed and I would love to do it on his b day or even on his passing day... to make it a joyous day instead. AM I WRONG???? Help me, this will be out first fight over the wedding!
*** It also works out for me with work, we'll have off then and I won't have to worry about get the time off!!!*****

paulaboo Posted:

Re: FMIL and picking the date......

The hardest part is trying to figure out how strongly your primary people feel. You'll be surprised when sometimes opinions are voiced when they're only recommendations or preferences. Personally, i would just go with the date. After changing it so many times, I was done, and I just went with my date.

We all have to move on... 6 years is a tough time. Your FMIL will be emotional on that day, and that's going to happen regardless.
Jennifer907 Posted:

Re: FMIL and picking the date......

Go with whatever date YOU want. It's your wedding, not your FMILs. I am asked by my FMIL why we picked our date at least 2 times a month. And each time I have to explain it. Bottom line is you have to stand your ground, and if your FH is comfortable with it, then go for it. Having it on a Thursday will save you a lot of $$$$ also. And if she's not paying for it, she has zero say IMO.

Mooshyboo Posted:

Re: FMIL and picking the date......

thursday is becoming popular...i would go for it!
alymikewedding08 Posted:

Re: FMIL and picking the date......

ok I agree that you should be able to pick the date.. and if it works out for you and it's the date you want.. then great.. go for it..

buttttttt I can also understand her side.. because I personally wouldn't want people celebrating on a day my mom passed away.

JMO
XFINALLYX Posted:

Re: FMIL and picking the date......

we chose a thursday for our wedding date as well. i cant even begin to tell you how much money i've saved!! we're paying 40 dollars a person LESS than having it on a friday or saturday night. crazy. and other discounts too! if people wanna be there, they'll be there. some people will b!tch but who cares.

jtgarsik Posted:

Re: FMIL and picking the date......


Posted by alymikewedding08

ok I agree that you should be able to pick the date.. and if it works out for you and it's the date you want.. then great.. go for it..

buttttttt I can also understand her side.. because I personally wouldn't want people celebrating on a day my mom passed away.

JMO



Ouch - this is a tough one! Yes it is your wedding day, and yes it is six years later....but whether it is six years or 20 years, if it is something that is still going to be hard for her i would take it into consideration...it is her mother - and people deal differently with things than others...while it may be easier for some, and some would rather have something joyous set on that day, it could be really hard on someone else. if something was celebrated on a day of my mother's death, it would be nice in a way to have something joyous, but i could see myself being a little melancholy and sad...which isn't what i'd want to be thinking about on a day that should be so happy(jmo!!!) . I'd talk to your FH about it....see what he thinks about his mom & how she's dealt with her mothers passing in the past....see if it still gets to her or not & then go from there.

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