First off, let me say i absolutely love my FMIL. I really lucked out by gaining a 2nd mother. But there is a pressing issue that is really bothering me. FMIL still has not bought a dress for our June 28th wedding. Granted she has a little over two months left but can we cut it any closer? She picked out the exact dress she loves and it is GORGEOUS. The second she put it on i just said 'wow!!' It is in her price range, and in her size (the store they have it in), but she has still not bought it. She said she will be ordering it in the next few weeks however the woman at the store said it can take 12-16 weeks to come in. Ummm hello we have just under 10 weeks left. So the woman at the store said Montage's manufacturing place is in NJ so her though 'we can just go there and they must have it there in the size.' ummmmmmmm what???? If it was the money i even offered to lay it out and she can pay me back as the $$ comes in but she still wont get a gown. I mean how much easier can it be to find a black gown??? I even suggested she go to Macys or Lord and Taylor but with under 10 weeks, she still has no gown. I know she will have something by the wedding but it is really important to me that she feels beautiful that day. Any suggestions or help?? FH is so disgusted that i wont even mention it to him. Im at the point where i am ready to go by the gown and give it to her and say happy mothers day!! (keep in mind she wants to have straps and sleeves added to the gown too! Im bummed...help me
SusiBtoM
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
Have you asked her the reason WHY she has not gotten her dress yet ?
deb08
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
sounds like your mfil is like mine when it come to clothes- sorry to hear how upseet you are but just smile i am sure it will work out--
SoonToBeMrsScott
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
o my goodness I took both mothers 2 weeks ago on my week of from work and I made sure they bought it on the time I had off and I had to be there when they chose them. My advice would be for fh to go and speak politely to his mom about the situation or another woman one of his aunts or his grandmother some one to explain that it takes time for dresses to come in unless you are buying an off the rack dress and alterations is a process with a couple of fittings to make sure everything is exactly the way she wants it. i am sorry you are going through this I hope it all works out
DeeluvsVinny
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
Wow, I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Maybe you can sit her down and ask why she hasn't ordered it yet? Is it the money?
She really needs to get this done ASAP, especially if she wants to alter the dress with sleeves!
I think you just need to talk to her, woman to woman and find out what's going on.
FinallyEngaged
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
i am so sorry that has to be rough!! If i were you i would talk to her and in passing be like how important it is to you that she feel pretty that day and you do not want anything to go wrong and if she could please hurry up and order the dress. Make sure to say something like 'godforbid they order the wrong dress we still may have time to look for another one.' make it seem like u have no faith in the store and the sooner u order the dress the better u will feel.
HTH
Annoulak
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
i think you answered your own question...buy the gown yourself and give it to her
JoesFutureWife
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
Thank you for your suggestions...She said she is holding off from ordering the gown because she thinks she may be a size smaller (the store has one in her size but she lost 5 lbs and thinks it will be 'swimming' on her.' Keep in mind i am the one who zippered the gown and it just zippered so i really dont think she will need the size smaller. FH said to her 'just get that one. It is much easier to take it in than let a smaller one out.' She says she still has time. Keep in mind i took her out in Nov, Dec, Jan dress shopping with the intention of getting it in January (the latest). As for buying it for her, for mothers day i really wanted to surprise her with her DOJ thats why i dont really want to spend the $$ on the dress but if it comes down to it, i guess ill have to suck it up. FH told me if i buy it he will be mad at me because he thinks his mom is being ridiculous. I am so sick of hearing the same conversation...'I'll ordering it within the next few weeks' has been her response since January. I wouldnt mind it but weve been engaged since November 06.
SusiBtoM
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
Have a one on one with your FMIL and let her know that she needs to get the dress by this Saturday otherwise she will have to search for and buy something off the rack.
Gather up all your patience and explain to her that the dress can be taken in if it is too big in certain areas. 5 lbs does not equal one dress size.
I had no problem taking my MIL shopping, it was getting her to the fitting that nearly put me over hte edge. She is a sick woman, so I understand that she has good days and bad days. I finally got her to a fitting the same day as my final one. I can certainly understand your stress.
JoesFutureWife
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
Thank you! Thing is they have it in her size to take off of the rack. They offered to put it on layaway if she puts down $80. I just wish she would do that. My fear is that she will go to buy the dress in June it will be gone then dress hunting will have to begin again. I cant demand her to buy her dress by this weekend because of her financial situation. She works three jobs and is a single parent so i will not demand but FH said he will talk to her today. We shall see.
SusiBtoM
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
Posted by JoesFutureWife
Thank you! Thing is they have it in her size to take off of the rack. They offered to put it on layaway if she puts down $80. I just wish she would do that. My fear is that she will go to buy the dress in June it will be gone then dress hunting will have to begin again. I cant demand her to buy her dress by this weekend because of her financial situation. She works three jobs and is a single parent so i will not demand but FH said he will talk to her today. We shall see.
Gotcha. So it's not really the 5lbs..... Can the two of you put down the $80 for layaway ? Reason it to yourselves as stress relief.
JoesFutureWife
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
Posted by SusiBtoM
Posted by JoesFutureWife
Thank you! Thing is they have it in her size to take off of the rack. They offered to put it on layaway if she puts down $80. I just wish she would do that. My fear is that she will go to buy the dress in June it will be gone then dress hunting will have to begin again. I cant demand her to buy her dress by this weekend because of her financial situation. She works three jobs and is a single parent so i will not demand but FH said he will talk to her today. We shall see.
Gotcha. So it's not really the 5lbs..... Can the two of you put down the $80 for layaway ? Reason it to yourselves as stress relief.
I completely offered to. They are even willing to hold the gown with just a credit card # without putting anything thru on it. She keeps saying 'the dress will be there.'
LeeLee111
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
My FMIL still does not have a dress either but I cant stress about her, I have enough to stress about. If she looks awful on her sons wedding day it will be her own fault.
SusiBtoM
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
It is her pride that is getting in the way.
Good luck !
hyphenbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
I think you need to relax. Your FMIL is an adult and I'm sure that she can figure out how to get a dress for your wedding. If she doesn't get that dress that she wants, then it's her own fault and she can find something else.
Kerin2804
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
Perhaps it is a financial issue - maybe she just doesn't have the funds available and feels weird saying it.
wundmoretime
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
IMO, forget about it, let it go. You can't control everything everyone is going to do or wear on your wedding day. My FMIL lives in Fla and I will have nothing to do with the dress she picks out. My own mother hasn't picked out a dress and I have not discussed it with her. We went to David's Bridal in the beg of March and she didn't like anything. Nothing more has been said and I don't plan on bringing it up. You have enough to worry about as it is. Let her handle her own dress. She may offend her by buying it for her. In a way, you are forcing her to wear that dress.
Princess Cut Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: FMIL Help--long.
Posted by JoesFutureWife
Posted by SusiBtoM
Posted by JoesFutureWife
Thank you! Thing is they have it in her size to take off of the rack. They offered to put it on layaway if she puts down $80. I just wish she would do that. My fear is that she will go to buy the dress in June it will be gone then dress hunting will have to begin again. I cant demand her to buy her dress by this weekend because of her financial situation. She works three jobs and is a single parent so i will not demand but FH said he will talk to her today. We shall see.
Gotcha. So it's not really the 5lbs..... Can the two of you put down the $80 for layaway ? Reason it to yourselves as stress relief.
I completely offered to. They are even willing to hold the gown with just a credit card # without putting anything thru on it. She keeps saying 'the dress will be there.'
Sorry you have to deal with this. I would call the store and give them your CC# so they can at least hold the dress in the size she needs like this when she finally goes it will definitely be there waiting for her.
