FMIL - How would you deal?

Okkkk ladies so I have to blow off some steam, because quite frankly I'm getting to the point where I've had enough!

My FMIL is a very good person, and is very kind hearted, but sometimes goes about things the wrong way(I think).

She does not like FH's SIL, yet feels guilty for all of the things FSIL missed out on. Her and FH's brother had wedding plans, but she got pregnant, so they had a 'shotgun' wedding and no one knew until four days before. (This was 10 years ago now). She never had a shower or received any gifts, etc.

So anyway, anytime FMIL wants to buy us something or wants to do something nice, it is always 'a secret' and we are not allowed to tell anyone. For example, she started a collection of Lenox Christmas china for us, but we can't say anything, and she says how she now needs to start a collection for FBIL & FSIL. When we were dress shopping for one of my BMs and FMIL's dresses, it was 'FSIL had the most beautiful gown but she never got to wear it' and so on. Like, almost making me feel guilty about it. I don't think it's intentional, but still...

So today, I get a message from her saying that she wants to buy us a kitchen aid mixer for our shower, yet it is a secret, we can't tell anyone. She wants to know what color we would like, then goes on to say that she wants to buy a red one for FBIL & FSIL for their anniversary 'being as though they had a shotgun wedding with no shower or gifts.'

First off, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with us that they did not have a shower and FMIL didn't throw them one. Secondly, if you want to buy them something, just do it! Why do I need to hear about it? If you want to get them something, I am in no way going to be offended or hold it against her. I just get upset when everything always has to be secretive and I constantly have to hear what they did or didn't get, or didn't get to do. Not only that, but why would you want to put the responsibility on someone of keeping track of what they can and cannot talk about? And if she wants to buy them an anniversary gift, then get them something that is unique to them, that they will both enjoy - not something just because she's buying it for us. (She is not a baking/kitchen type person).

So if anyone is still reading, THANK YOU haha! How would you deal with this? Just brush it off? Or kindly say something to FMIL? I do not want to feel guilty about everything we do or receive because FBIl & FSIL chose a different path for themselves.

I hope I did not come across snotty by any means...ANY advice on how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated! :D