I don't want to be a ***** or a bridezella, but if she doesn't stop interfeering soon, I am not sure I will be able to stop myself from getting so mad at her that I completely exclude her from all future wedding things.
Here are a few examples Saturday we had a food tasting, and we invited them. they are paying for their guests. Well we are sitting at the table for over an hour, and the host comes over to talk to use and she starts asking him tons of questions, that we had no warning were coming....FH got ****ed and cut her off, and then she was 'hurt'
We picked readings, and showed them, put them in the program, asked people to be the readers and gave them copies and spoke to the priest. Last night I get an email asking me am I sure we want this reading - she found other Interfaith reading - would I like to see them - NO, and butt out
She tells me staurday she would like to invite her stepsisters. She would like to start to include them in family events. I hardly know them - tonight I will be emailing her that they are not going to be invited.
Just spoke to FH - and she sent him a bunch of quesiotns - will the hall provide the Challah? - does the band know we'll be doing challah? - do we know we need a marraige license ***????
She is totally bugging my MOH about the shower - new ideas all the time. MOH says she can handle her, and - get this - she shouldn't even ben involved in the shower. the girsls are doing me a favor and letting her be involved....my mistake from the beginning.
I spoke to my mom on the phone this weekend and started telling her about it, and her advice was to let her be - FH is her only child, but u know what - if she thinks she can get away with it now, she'll keep it up the rest of my life.
I really need to tactfully tell her to butt out, FH is talking to her tonight, he's as fed up as I am
Another thing - she checks the regiustry all the rime and tells us whats been bought. I can do that myself if I want - AND I DON'T
Seriously, if she doesn't leave us alone, I will say something I know I will regret later
oooh just talking about it is getting all worked up again
Stacey1403
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Re: FMIL is driving me (us) nuts (some update)
Good for your FH for standing up for you!!!!!
dubliner
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Re: FMIL is driving me (us) nuts (some update)
Stacey 1403 - hold off on your opinion
I just got off the phone with FH, and we went back and forth so long that he told me that he was hanging up on me.
He spoke to FMIL but didn't tell her to butt out. Instead he told her to filter everything thru him. I am soooo mad. This is not what I wanted.. He sees both points, about inviting these extra people to the shower, and why his mom wants them and why I don't.
I also yelled about the $$ from them - that it hasn't been confirmed . Man did we have words, and I am so ****ed.
You know what I can be a total bridezilla and cancel the entire shower. And I told him I would. I really don't want this aggrivation.
allure
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Re: FMIL is driving me (us) nuts (some update)
I myself worry about this stress i hope all works out for you!
tarakinspa
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Re: FMIL is driving me (us) nuts (some update)
Haha we are totally in the same boat, I am ready to have NO SHOWER!! so much easier, but I think we may regret this move.
karenJ
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Re: FMIL is driving me (us) nuts (some update)
I do not discuss any of the plans with my FMIL because she tends to treat my FH and me like we are kids who cannot make a decision. It drives me up a wall!!!! Sonetimes my FH picks it up and sometimes he lets her slide. ughhhhh So what I decided to do to prevent any direct arguments is to listen to what she has to say and say yeah yeah yeah and then do my own stuff anyway!!! Too bad if she is ****ed in the end! I am not her puppet and will never be!!!!!
Sorry to be so blunt but I am one of those brides with an overly overbearing FMIL. Maybe one day I will share some stories. :)
Karen
dubliner
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Re: FMIL is driving me (us) nuts (some update)
Well FH called me back later after we had both calmed down somewhat Here's the outcome, and IMO its far from ideal - we are taking February off from planning and she is not to contact us about the wedding - any suggestions / ideas she has aregoing to FH - she is sticking to her guns about the 2 people at the shower, and guess what - so am I. It also turns out that one reason she wanted them there is that her stepmom would expect them there. Guess what - she never included her step mom on the guest list
For me - I am not telling one more detail about the wedding. Anything she hears will come from my FH and he can deal with whatever she has to say about it.
I told my MOH that I would cancel the shower. I left her a voice mail and I was probably just venting at the time.
Sassy
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Re: FMIL is driving me (us) nuts (some update)
WOW, good lluck w/everything. I'm so glad you stuck to your guns. Enjoy your February
WishCandy
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Re: FMIL is driving me (us) nuts (some update)
Dubliner - I have the same issues except it's not just fmil it's the whole family. Anyhoo, you need to have your fi say something and then if that still doesn't work - he needs to have another talk w/her...and then if that still doesn't work - I would definitely say something - where she understands her boundaries. It needs to be nipped in the bud now or else it's only going to get worse after you get married... As for keeping her included in all of the wedding stuff... I really don't think it's necessary. If she starts asking questions - say you want some things to be special and a surprise for her on the big day... this way you don't have to deal w/crap and if she has something to say about it on the big day - OH WELL... too late for her. Sometimes trying to be the nice guy and include everyone in everything, just doesn't work. Good luck w/everything and let us know how everything turns out.
