FMIL is freaking me out.......

a couple of weeks ago she came up to me and told me from now on I can call them mom & dad. I thought that was very nice of her but I cant get myself to say it (atleast for now). We went to FIL's house yesterday and it felt like she was expecting me to call her mom all day, I just could not get myself to say it and when we were leaving it almost seemed like she was a bit pi$$ed at me. I love them and they are GREAT people I dont know what to do.

Re: FMIL is freaking me out.......

As weird as it is...start calling her 'mom' from now. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. It felt so strange to me as well but now I'm used to it.

Re: FMIL is freaking me out.......

My sister has been married for 12 years, and still doesn't call MIL 'mom', she kinda just avoids calling her anything! She always says she should have just started as soon as they got engaged, because the longer she waited, the harder it was. I don't think there's ANY hope for her now!!

Re: FMIL is freaking me out.......

yeah just start trying it out....there was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray had NO IDEA what to call his MIL....he just would say to her 'Hey you ' LOL

I don't think my future in-laws expect that. Their other DIL calls them by their first names. That is fine by me

Re: FMIL is freaking me out.......

my parents approched DH about this...he does it to make them happy

Re: FMIL is freaking me out.......

I guess I am in the 'other' camp on this issue. You should NOT have to call someone Mom/Dad because they want you too. I think it should be something that you are BOTH comfortable with. Perhaps you can tell her that you just feel so weird calling someone else Mom/Dad,as you are sure she remembers when she got married. And that it might take you a bit of time before adjusting to that. Again, I don't call my MIL Mom and don't want to, even though she is a lovely women.

Re: FMIL is freaking me out.......

I agree with Michele - I don't think you have to call her mom. But since she asked you to, I would talk to her about it and explain your feelings. Easier said than done, I avoid calling my MIL anything. She never provided any direction and I can't call her mom or mommy (which is what everyone else calls her).

Re: FMIL is freaking me out.......

I agree...i wouldnt want to call my FMIL mom...i have a mom.....I cant call her a mom bec for the plain fact that she isnt mine...

I am going to have issues with this though...

Right now..i call her Mrs. So and so....but i know she is uncomfortable with that..or I dont really call her anything....

She has made reference about me being in the family...so i am just waiting for her to say something to me....

Its a touchy topic...but if you dont feel comfortable talking to her about it...have FH tell her how you feel...I am hoping to just call my FMIL by her first name...it will solve a lot of internal problems that i am having with it...

Re: FMIL is freaking me out.......

I'd just tell her that you don't feel comfortable about calling her Mom!

Re: FMIL is freaking me out.......

Maybe soften it a bit by telling her it doesn't feel natural yet and you need some time to grow into it but you appreciate her telling you that she is comfortable having you call her Mom.

When DH and I announced our engagement we had been together 8 years and I'd known his mom just as long. One evening I think I said something like 'I guess it's 'Mom' now and she quickly said, oh, no just call me 'her name'. So she made it clear that she didn't want to be Mom to me.