FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

Original post by ChristineAaron08

Oct 13, 2007 11:49 PM

My mom was planning on navy but FMIL got her dress and asked if my mom wanted to wer the same color as her- brown.

Are they supposed to be the same.

Im glad she got a dress but Im a little peeved b/c my mom already planned on navy.

fl2008 Posted: Oct 14, 2007 11:44 AM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

Posted by Snowflake08

I'm sorry and i'm sure youre upset, but i am always honest so i will just give my honest opinion

coming from someone that doesnt have a FMIL, i understand what you're saying, but look at it this way
she is excited and enthusiastic and obviously looking forward to your special day

i think those things are far more important than what color she's wearing

sorry JMHO

I have to agree!!!

zoe282 Posted: Oct 14, 2007 07:03 PM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

I would care....luckily my mom got hers first, but if it happend the other way around then i would be upset. I think it's just proper for your FMIL to follow the ettiquette and if she is unsure to ask if you'd care if she got her dress...call and say 'hey i found a dress i like in such and such a color' Then you could go from there....I say it happend and it's over, but its definitely worth a vent:)

debismom Posted: Oct 14, 2007 07:18 PM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

Posted by kristi313

my mom won't even discuss dresses!! lol

have you seen the dress she got??

Kristi, is your Mom's dress posted? Mary MOB

BNBride60 Posted: Oct 14, 2007 07:53 PM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

i don't know - i'm no big on 'rules'

my FMIL already got her dress and my Mom hasn't even looked. i was with her when she bought it and i was thrilled for her that she found something she loved without having to search far and wide.

as far as the color...do they really have to wear the same color/similar colors? i also didn't know that was a rule and if my mom turns up in green and my FMIL in bronze, i don't mind.

everyone is entitled to their own wedding planning but - maybe your FMIL, like me, didn't know it would be a big deal?

i'm sorry you're peeved though, that is always rough.

ETA: sorry - didn't see the part about her being the etiquette queen. maybe that's just one rule she didn't know? i honestly had never heard that before.

BNBride60 Posted: Oct 14, 2007 07:55 PM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

Posted by Snowflake08

christine
i understand what etiquette says, but sometimes you have to ask yourself if it really matters
just because a book says it should be one way

for example
on my invites, i was told only to put 'request the honour of your presence' ONLY if the ceremony is in a house of worship
well, my ceremony is at RH and i still worded it that way because i like it

i heard this same thing too!!! i think i heard it on the boards, actually. i'm getting married in a church and i may NOT use this. sometimes the rules are just crazy!!!!

Snowflake08 Posted: Oct 14, 2007 07:58 PM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

i say 'rules were made to be broken'
LOL

kslmbuggie Posted: Oct 14, 2007 08:52 PM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

i wouldnt make a big deal out of this...does it really matter who gets their dress first??? you are gonna have much more important things to stress about later.

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: Oct 14, 2007 08:58 PM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

This same exactly thing happened to me, right down to MIL thinking she is the etiquette queen. She even told me she read the whole wedding etiquette book she bought us before giving it to us. Well if that was the case lady, you would have read the whole section about MOB and MOG dress shopping AND the whole section about respecting a bride's wishes on how she would like her shower and wouldn't ruin the surprise!!!

I'm sorry this happened to you, and happy that your mom isn't too bothered by it.

jgl Posted: Oct 14, 2007 09:00 PM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

awww that stinks. But at least your mom is okay with it, if she wasnt then that could cause major problems

FMIL wants to start looking for dress but siad my mom has to pick the color she wants first. My mom doesnt really care and told FMIL she can get whatever she likes. Im glad about that, one less thing for me to have to worry about

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Oct 14, 2007 09:28 PM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

i had no idea the MOB was supposed to get her gown first.
I think my FMIL will end up getting hers first, cause she is just more on the ball with these things, but i think i can safely say that they will choose very different dresses.
And I have no preference in color except for it not be white or ivory or cream.

That stinks that she did that though

Future Mulligan Posted: Oct 15, 2007 09:22 AM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

i have a feeling the same thing will happen to me! i also bet that FMIL's dress will be more $$$ than my wedding gown! LMAO

Espo22 Posted: Oct 15, 2007 09:25 AM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

My FMIL got her dress first and it wasnt a problem...my mom knew i was going shopping with FMIL. I went shopping with my mom soon after but she didnt buy anything because she wants to lose some weight first...i knew there wouldn't be a problem with the colors or anything like that, the colors FMIL likes my mom doesnt wear and vice versa, plus i dont really care what color either one of them wear...This is just me. FMIL asked me while we were shopping what colors my mom plans on wearing so she doesnt get it, but i told her to get whatever and not worry, my mom really doesnt care and wouldn't even pay attention

FullersBride Posted: Oct 15, 2007 09:27 AM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

JMO- Be happy your MIL is eager to get her dress. There is NO reason why they both have to wear the same color!!! It's not like she picked a white dress, or ivory dress or red dress!!! Choose your battles carefully and try not to let omething so little as this upset you!!! It's really not a big deal

PeterNina Mom Posted: Oct 15, 2007 09:45 AM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

Posted by Snowflake08

I'm sorry and i'm sure youre upset, but i am always honest so i will just give my honest opinion

coming from someone that doesnt have a FMIL, i understand what you're saying, but look at it this way
she is excited and enthusiastic and obviously looking forward to your special day

i think those things are far more important than what color she's wearing

sorry JMHO

Well said...as the MOG I happened to have gotten my dress before both MOB'S for my sons weddings and neighter DIL minded or said anything. I called Nina and told her I had the dress on and she looked at it on line and said go for it. The other one didn't mind at all either.
I too was very excited about the weddings and had no malice in mind when I picked out my dresses....it just happened that I found it first. It doesn't take the lime light away from the MOB because we are both moms and both special. We love our sons the same way your mom loves you and if you have a son you love him just as much too.

debismom Posted: Oct 15, 2007 10:07 AM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

Posted by PeterNina Mom

Posted by Snowflake08

I'm sorry and i'm sure youre upset, but i am always honest so i will just give my honest opinion

coming from someone that doesnt have a FMIL, i understand what you're saying, but look at it this way
she is excited and enthusiastic and obviously looking forward to your special day

i think those things are far more important than what color she's wearing

sorry JMHO

Well said...as the MOG I happened to have gotten my dress before both MOB'S for my sons weddings and neighter DIL minded or said anything. I called Nina and told her I had the dress on and she looked at it on line and said go for it. The other one didn't mind at all either.
I too was very excited about the weddings and had no malice in mind when I picked out my dresses....it just happened that I found it first. It doesn't take the lime light away from the MOB because we are both moms and both special. We love our sons the same way your mom loves you and if you have a son you love him just as much too.

With all due respect to how everyone else feels about this issue, as a MOB, I would not be offended if Fred's Mom bought her dress/gown, before I did. I'm waiting to lose some pounds, and that takes forever!!!! Mary MOB

zoe282 Posted: Oct 15, 2007 10:18 AM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

I think the bottom line is that everyones situation is different..everyone's families have different dynamics with eachother...you can't put someone down for their feelings and I think telling people they shouldn't be upset about something isn't right. Just because you wouldn't be upset in the same situation doesn't make you right either.

Whether you are the MOB or the MOG I think both parties need to be respectful of eachother and communicate. If one just goes out and gets a dress with out even thinking about what the bride might want i think its disrespectful. It's her and her FH's day and they've dreamed about it forever, and has worked hard setting up color schemes and thinking of pictures. If you just go out and do what you want, then you aren't being considerate. Whatever you do just think that everyone has to work together to make the day special.

Mici n KC Posted: Oct 15, 2007 10:20 AM

Re: FMIL ordered her dress ....BEFORE my mom got hers!

FMIL is neurotic when it comes to this stuff. For our eparty she bought 6 dresses! My mom didn't get her dress until the week before. Of course this time my mom will do it earlier, but FMIL will have to wait or just get 10 dresses and just go with one that doesn't match my mom!