I absolutely love my FMIL as if she were my own mother. I give her so much credit because she is literally working 24 hrs a day to pay for our flowers for the wedding---i feel terrible but she continues to insist. She really doesn't understand how much things cost, especially since this is her first son getting married. She tells me that she wants to do something 'different' for the RD. Automatically 'different' makes me sick to my stomach. She originally wanted to have it at her sisters house 45 minutes away from the church which we politely said no to because it's not fair to have everyone drive that far. Then when we think we have it figured out (we found an option that would work for her, that she could do everything and it wouldnt cost more than $500 max!) She tells me 'i think im going to look into having it at a chinese buffet.' I seriously thought she was kidding but to my surprise she wasn't!!! My face DROPPED!!! I wouldnt mind it but we have 50-60 people for the RD. She insists on paying for it herself.---oh and one other thing---she didnt think people in the bridal party should be invited with their date/spouse!!!!!!! I was like ummm so i guess your son isnt going to bring his gf of three years (meaning fh's brother). She changed her mind about that!!! HELP ME!!!!!! Am i being irrational??
JoesFutureWife
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Re: FMIL--please tell me she's kidding
She's a sweetheart though....i think once she calls and says '60 people' they will tell her its not possible anyway. That's a lot of people when capacity is only 110 in the place.
LegoBride
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Re: FMIL--please tell me she's kidding
I would ask if she wouldn't mind splitting the costs with you or someone in your family. She seems sincere which is really all you can ask for plus it appears like you are trying to help her any way you can. Talk to FH see if he thinks if there's anyway you can spilt the cost with her so you each get what you want
LBride
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Re: FMIL--please tell me she's kidding
How about in someone's yard??/ My friend went to a great RD that I wish I thought of.....pizza and beers with fun 'yard' games and music
JoesFutureWife
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Re: FMIL--please tell me she's kidding
Problem is she doesn't want to do it in my yard, she really doesn't have a yard and a family member on her side that has a yard is 45 minutes away from the church which is too far for everyone to drive...she said it herself.
jtgarsik
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Re: FMIL--please tell me she's kidding
i feel ur pain about the amount of people...we had almost 50 because of everyone that was involved + spouses & such...but honestly - i know 'chinese buffet' might sound not so hot when u hear it, but i've actually been to A LOT of showers and RD's held at them lately. the crystal garden in smithtown was great for a shower i recently went to - they had a whole private room in the back & everything...i promise it's really not as bad as u think other than that - if ur really opting against it, try to join her on the hunt for places. my MIL had our RD at the clubhouse in my mom's developement...she had it catered(well - hired friends that cooked & served) and it actually turned out really nice because we all hung out all night. There are options, u just have to think & be creative don't worry - i'm sure it will turn out nice
JoesFutureWife
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Re: FMIL--please tell me she's kidding
...see above. The problem isn't the chinese buffet itself, it's going to an open space with so many little kids (bridal party has 2 juniors who are 9, 3 RBs, and 3 FG's all under the age of 6.) Plus i have a girl with allergies to additives in chinese food. The church is also all the way on the south shore so we need to keep it within a reasonable driving distance. Luckily FH is talking to MIL tomorrow to give her some options!!
Thanks for all of your help ladies!! I'll keep you updated!
AugustBridein09
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Re: FMIL--please tell me she's kidding
Awwww shes just trying to help.....maybe she could help pay for something else like invites or centerpieces???? That way she can still contribute just not w/ the RD
JoesFutureWife
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Re: FMIL--please tell me she's kidding
She is doing the flowers for the wedding. Luckily her best friend owns a florist and does an amazing job and is charging her cost for them. She is INSISTING on doing the RD telling me that she can't wait. I hope she goes for the other idea FH and i had. He mentioned it to her again when he talked to her this afternoon and she was excited to look at it. Plus i got really cute invites to print with her name on it so she was happy about that too. The location we found is so much nicer and less expensive so it is a win win sitaution. We dont have to set up or clean up too so it is the same as having it in a restaurant but just in a private place. I think once she sees it she will feel better.
