FMIL Vent

So FMIL is only paying for RD- and last night it came up in discussion about how many ppl and where to have it--- and they basically said that if there paying for it- they will deciede where it is----uhhh helllooooo its my RD, i think i should have input on it---and then went on to say that they will only pay for this many ppl--and that over that we can pay for them if we want other ppl there other than bridalparty and parents---umm but its okay that were paying for 100 guests for them for our wedding???


am i being unreasonable?

im so mad!!

well thats how i feel - like its OUR wedding, its something you volunteered to pay for yes, but the only thing out of the whole wedding- its and being presented like were going to make the decisions and you just be happy that were paying for it-

meanwhile- my parents are paying for the RH- and they didnt say- oh you can inivte 20 ppl

ya know?
its not even a hugeeee deal- but i feel like it should be approached differently...its her sons wedding i mean---- i dont get it?

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Posted by amandamichael

well thats how i feel - like its OUR wedding, its something you volunteered to pay for yes, but the only thing out of the whole wedding- its and being presented like were going to make the decisions and you just be happy that were paying for it-

meanwhile- my parents are paying for the RH- and they didnt say- oh you can inivte 20 ppl

ya know?
its not even a hugeeee deal- but i feel like it should be approached differently...its her sons wedding i mean---- i dont get it?

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I totally agree with you. I know I am not much help but I do agree :)
Good Luck with FMIL

I think she could have broached the subject better.

However, if she is paying for the event - then she may not have the money to pay for more than X amount of people.

Also, the RD normally consists of ONLY the wedding party and the immediate family of the Bride & Groom. In some cases, people are nice enough to allow the bridal party to bring a date but this is optional.

If you have out of town guests who will be here before the wedding, it is common to invite them to the RD as well, not not mandatory.

Your parents may have the mony to pay for 100 people for the wedding but your future in laws may not. Speak with your FH about some restaurants you both might like to have the RD at and h ave him suggest them to your FMIL.

Good Luck!

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Posted by Moonmist09

I think she could have broached the subject better.

However, if she is paying for the event - then she may not have the money to pay for more than X amount of people.

Also, the RD normally consists of ONLY the wedding party and the immediate family of the Bride & Groom. In some cases, people are nice enough to allow the bridal party to bring a date but this is optional.

If you have out of town guests who will be here before the wedding, it is common to invite them to the RD as well, not not mandatory.

Your parents may have the mony to pay for 100 people for the wedding but your future in laws may not. Speak with your FH about some restaurants you both might like to have the RD at and h ave him suggest them to your FMIL.

Good Luck!

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FH was in a wedding a few years ago out of the state and i went with him. We had to arrive a day early for the Rehersal & RD. And then we're told that the RD was for wedding party only-no spouses...ummm i'm not from this state...luckily there was another spouse there that was equally peeved so we went to dinner together. I just couldn't belive it; i would have paid for my own meal! luckily the other girl was there and we saw eachother both standing dumbfounded after we sat through the entire rehersal. But i guess that's an example of someone saying they'll only pay for X amount of people and being unwilling to budge or make other arrangements. Share that with your FMIL (before we left for the wedding we knew the BP would be the only ones that got their meals covered at the RD; but i was willing to pay for my own meal so that i could still attend with FH rather than go back to the hotel alone and wait for him; or walk around aimleslly near the restaurant but i was just shocked that on that day they didn't even want to have anyone that wasn't in the BP at the dinner regardelss if we paid our own meal and traveled from oot with our spouses to be there).

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Posted by Moonmist09

I think she could have broached the subject better.

However, if she is paying for the event - then she may not have the money to pay for more than X amount of people.

Also, the RD normally consists of ONLY the wedding party and the immediate family of the Bride & Groom. In some cases, people are nice enough to allow the bridal party to bring a date but this is optional.

If you have out of town guests who will be here before the wedding, it is common to invite them to the RD as well, not not mandatory.

Your parents may have the mony to pay for 100 people for the wedding but your future in laws may not. Speak with your FH about some restaurants you both might like to have the RD at and h ave him suggest them to your FMIL.

Good Luck!

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ITA. She may not have the money for extra guests and does not want you to know. Have your fh talk to her.

thanks girls
i know its not a money thing tho
i think thats what annoys me more than anything

i mean actually
i jsut think i should have say in it- like pick it with me
thats what irritates me more than anything

i guess its stilly

RD is not so much volunteer its there obligation. I am worried that something similar may happen to me bc i have little kids and stuff that i will need to invite there parents and my lil cusin from out of states parents are going to have to drive her. I feel for you and i dont think you are wrong to be made at all.
Maybe you can go to places together and compromise on somewhere.