My FH just told he spoke to his mother who said she just found out she has cousins she didnt even knew she had. She wants to add about 15 people to our guest list. Originally we had 175 people on our list, now its up to 216!!!!!!!
I don't understand why we have to add people that we don't even know, let alone people SHE doesn't even know. We are paying for this wedding ourselves and it's getting out of control. I understand there are the courtesy invites. But i don't agree with inviting people who have had no part in our lives. Everyone on my guest list are people who either are family, or are friends who i've grown up with. But more and more people are showing up on the list who i never met. This friggen guest list is going to be the death of me!!!
SoonToBeMrsCali
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
If you are paying for it yourselves, just politely explain to your FMIL that they really can't put more people on the guestlist... I hope she understands
IrishAli
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
When FMIL pulled this, we politely reminded her that the room only holds 130 and we sent STDs to 160! No more!
Tell her the list has been finalized by both you and her son and that Is that. And if you get more Nos than expected, you may be able to invite them. That is how we pacified FMIL
FutureJOC
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
I have a few of those myself and it makes no sense to me. I know that the odds of them coming are very slim but I still don't want to risk it. My brother and SIL did the same thing at their wedding (invited some family members who we never see as a courtesy) and they wound up showing up!
fdnybride163
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
thats one thing that I love about FHs and my families, we dont like any of our relatives so they could care less if they are invited or not!
DCgirl82
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Oh wow yeah I wouldnt be happy about that. Why invite people to the wedding that she doesnt even know?!?!?! IMO I think its wrong to invite people to weddings and things when you barely know them ya know? Its like asking a stranger to attend and bring a gift.. Does that make sense at all?
allornil
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
see, this is why you set down rules early.
we made a list of every essential person. then we said this is the list, anyone you add, you have to pay for.
and we meant it.
be firm. she doesn't need to invite people she didn't know existed 10 mins ago.
schnookie56
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
i think she feels like her 'numbers' on the guest list are kinda low so she feels like she has to add random people to get the same amount of people as my side of the family. But i don't think it should matter what the actual numbers are, but more importantly the quality of the relationship you have with that person. Our wedding day is supposed to be a celebration of our union. Especially the union of two families coming together. I feel like the only people who should be included are those who have seen us grown into adults and who deserve to see us get married. im just so sick having the same discussion with her!
I also cant really say that we cant afford to have the extra people because she has a nasty little habit of saying she'll pay for stuff if i say i cant afford it. But the money isnt the biggest issue, its having strangers at our wedding eating food and drinking alcohol that was meant for our beloved family and friends..not them!
RandEWedding2011
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
I would most definitley tell her to back off unless she wants to chip and pay for the unknown cousins!! I f thats not want you want than just stand firm on NO MORE ADDITIONS! Tell that the guest list is closed and no more invites.
Moonmist09
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
there are always people at any wedding that you don't know well but they are family or close friends of either your family and FH's and sometimes its inevitable that they get invites. they probably won't come to the wedding anyway, so send them an invite just to say you sent it. if you refuse, then you can explain to them how you don' thave the extra money to pay for these guests should they decide to actually come to the wedding
hiswifey2011
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thats REDICULOUS!!! she can't invite people she doesnt even know! thats unheard of !!! this is where you need to put your foot down!
Soon2BMrsJoeBear
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I would be upset too! I think you should politely have her make an A list and a B list, and tell her that the B list is only invited if you don't think you'll make your minimum a month out... They'll probably know they're courtesy invites and not come at all! Or let's hope!!
Richiesgirl
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
You should do what we did...any additional guest can be added without problem as long as someone can come up with the money. I told my in laws straight out.....guess what no extra ppl were added
adelz
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
I would be annoyed too - I think you just need to let her know what your maximum is, and that you want people there that you guys all know. Especially since you guys are paying for it, and it's YOUR WEDDING, I'd definitely put my foot down.
MissingLI
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
Posted by Soon2BMrsJoeBear
I would be upset too! I think you should politely have her make an A list and a B list, and tell her that the B list is only invited if you don't think you'll make your minimum a month out... They'll probably know they're courtesy invites and not come at all! Or let's hope!!
This. It's a happy medium. Either they get invited to cover your minimum a month out, or they don't get invited at all but it still appeases her.
Now if it was me....I'd just say sorry, not happening. We just did that with MIL this past weekend. FH told her, why am I going to invite someone (let alone 15) I don't know to my wedding. Sorry, ain't happening. (We're paying for it as well).
squeeky126
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
I don't agree with that either...I would tell her no, unless she is paying for the wedding then who cares
AdriandSteve
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Re: FMIL VENT!!
Gotta agree with others. Although FMIL might want to invite the people she just met in this case, considering the circumstances it's your call.
I'd sit FMIL down and say that due to financial reasons you can't invite distant family members because then you'll have to invite some and it's a never ending list of people.
