FMIL vent

LMEL1223 Posted: Nov 27, 2010 12:15 PM

FMIL vent

I haven't been posting g lately because my internet hasn't been working so great. Now that I can finally talk to all of you again I have to do some venting!

My FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and deceded a while ago that it would be a smaller reception (100-120). We booked our RH accordingly (the most it can fit it 130)
At the time we came up with a guest list so make sure that this was do-able. We showed to both sets of parents and they are both okay with who we were inviting.
NOW (8mo later) my FMIL is upset that she cannot invite more people. She wants to invite about 70 more people who I don't even know and who my FH hasten seen in 20 years. Besides the cost issue we just don't have the space at our party.
It upsets me so much because we had sent both sets of parents the guest list to avoid this issue but now it is happening anyway!

The truth is that my FH doss not even want all these distant cousin at the wedding and I really don't want to go through the trouble of trying to get our deposit back and looking for another place. I love Crestwood Manor and that's where I want to get married.

I dont know how to approach talking to her about this.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Chanwich Posted: Nov 27, 2010 12:50 PM

Re: FMIL vent

I would just tell her that she had the opportunity to make her opinion known a long time ago, and that you're sorry, but you just can't accomodate all of her guests. Stick them on the B list if you want, but since you guys are paying for it, you get to say who comes!

KristynLeigh Posted: Nov 27, 2010 08:37 PM

Re: FMIL vent

Sometimes I think parents do this on purpose just to stress us out! Don't let it bother you. What's done is done, she'll realize it's too late eventually. YOUR wedding, not hers.

LMEL1223 Posted: Nov 28, 2010 09:01 AM

Re: FMIL vent

Thanks for the support!

FutureMcBride Posted: Nov 28, 2010 09:12 AM

Re: FMIL vent

Good luck on this... I had somewhat of the same issue for our E party, fmil wanted to invite 40 people, she reduced her list to 20 and she paid for half of the party so I couldn't complain!

She is going to be inviting all of her friends to the wedding and FH told her that she need to pay for who ever she is inviting since we don't even know who they are.

You have to be upfront with her. Tell her that you would love for her to have all of her friends there but there's literally no room for them, since you already asked her for input on the guest list. If she still insists, tell her that if she is willing to pay for the venue change and all of the extra people, than no problem!

merbride Posted: Nov 28, 2010 11:37 AM

Re: FMIL vent

tell her theres nothing more you can do but to put them on the b list

MrsG2011 Posted: Nov 28, 2010 11:39 AM

Re: FMIL vent

you have to talk to her - its your wedding, not hers. PERIOD!

IrishAli Posted: Nov 28, 2010 12:18 PM

Re: FMIL vent

This happened to me and I made it very clear that this was not a financial issue but a space issue and if she wanted more people she should have spoken up before we signed a contract

TheEyesOfMarch Posted: Nov 28, 2010 12:21 PM

Re: FMIL vent

I agree... explain the guest list has already been choosen and so has the RH and no changes can be made.

LMEL1223 Posted: Nov 28, 2010 02:32 PM

Re: FMIL vent

My FH told her last night that this is just the way it has to be.
I know she is not happy but i feel like I cant do anymore.

She will just have to deal with it!