fmil/surprises/help me -UPDATE

Clover23 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:14 PM

fmil/surprises/help me -UPDATE

Okay... long story short. I will be turning 30 on nov. 23. FH will be turning 30 on nov. 22. FMIL asks me what I think about her throwing us a joint surprise party as our gift. (yes, ignore the obvious problem with asking me such a question)

Now - I hate surprise parties. FH hates them even more. Neither of us particularly like anyone making a fuss over us, especially for birthdays.

********UPDATE*********

So, I went with the majority here and I told FH. He got panic-stricken. He does NOT want the party, no matter what I have to do to make it not happen. Even knowing about it, just the idea of people thinking it's a surprise and being all sly makes him nuts. SOOOOOO now.....
I NEED YOUR ADVICE AGAIN!
I'm like ok how do I tell your mom this without seeming ungrateful/btchy/obnoxious...
And, my darling FH said, 'well, ask your LIW girls that one too!'

So ladies.... how do I tell FMIL tactfully? No poll for this one.

THANK YOU so much!!!!

Lsorrent Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:16 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

I say go for it. If she wants to host it and pay for it??? Why not? It's just another reason to party

StaceyWill Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:18 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

I would tell her it's fine, BUT I would tell your FH too, I mean since you already know about it, he should know about it too. Also, because he hates surprise parties, he might get upset if he knew that you knew about it beforehand. JMO

Jna2010 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:19 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

i would tell your fh and ask him lol its does kill the surprise elemtn but if neither of you like surprises then this is a good way to warn him without bashing fmils idea

Clover23 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:24 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

thanks girls!

ok, who voted for bear? come clean!

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:30 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

Posted by Clover23

thanks girls!

ok, who voted for bear? come clean!

RRRROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!

That was me. Well, one of 'em. Why was a wild animal a choice?

marinai7 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:34 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

I would say go for it. If FH hates surprise parties though, I would probably just fill him in and see what he thinks.

mariedsgn Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:37 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

Posted by Lsorrent

I say go for it. If she wants to host it and pay for it??? Why not? It's just another reason to party

ITA!

Clover23 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:40 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

Posted by Clover23

thanks girls!

ok, who voted for bear? come clean!

RRRROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!

That was me. Well, one of 'em. Why was a wild animal a choice?

hahaha... why not? idk, whenever I can't think of anything to say, usually 'bear' is the first thing out of my mouth!

elisa112101 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 01:49 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

Posted by StaceyWill

I would tell her it's fine, BUT I would tell your FH too, I mean since you already know about it, he should know about it too. Also, because he hates surprise parties, he might get upset if he knew that you knew about it beforehand. JMO

yeah what she said...

Spring143 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 02:15 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

I would tell her that you are planning your own party or tell her your going away that weekend.
My fh is turning 30 and I know his mom is going to plan some stupid dinner at her house. (my fam already decided that they are going to celebrate with him privately) so im planning something with our friends for his bday. idk how old he has to be until his mom stops hosting his bday parties. I mean the thoughts nice-but.....
hmm well you know that's how I feel about my family

Clover23 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 02:48 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

thanks everyone for your input!

halfbaked Posted: Oct 05, 2009 02:51 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me - question with poll

Usually I'm all about keeping secrets, but tell FH. If he doesn't like surprises, then this wouldn't be the ideal 'gift' for him.

Clover23 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 10:11 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me -UPDATE

bump for update!

regy_k Posted: Oct 05, 2009 10:16 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me -UPDATE

I would just be honest. just make sure to be nice about it and mention how much u appreciate her thoughtfulness
tell her its not ur thing, esp the surprise part and that u want something very low key cause thats ur kind of thing more.
listen, its ur bday! play the 'its my party and I'll [do it] the way I want to' lol
nothing mean about it IMO

marinai7 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 10:17 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me -UPDATE

If FH's main concern is that he doesn't want ppl thinking it's a surprise and acting sneaky, why not make it a regular party and just invite who u want to celebrate. I'm sure u will want to celebrate and this way you won't have to pretend it's a surprise and FMIL will be happy she's throwing a party. It's a win/win.

Clover23 Posted: Oct 05, 2009 10:50 PM

Re: fmil/surprises/help me -UPDATE

yep i just suggested that.... he doesn't want a party at all. i reminded him (politely) that we have a wedding in 7 months so it would be good 'practice' - yep still not budging. argh. thanks girls.