For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

AJsMommy122 Posted: Mar 31, 2005 06:19 PM

For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

Ok now DH just asked me something that I HAVE to ask all of you..

If the situation was reversed and your good friends BF was cheating on her and you knew it would you tell her???

dm24angel Posted: Mar 31, 2005 06:24 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

yes I would. My loyalty is to my friend, and I would not be able to live with myself if I didnt tell her.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Mar 31, 2005 06:37 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mcaula Posted: Mar 31, 2005 06:49 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

Definately she has a right to know!

marc_rai Posted: Mar 31, 2005 06:58 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

I think it depends.

Situation A) If it was my Best friend or my sister, then yes I would no matter who the other person is.

Situation B) It's just a good friend or associate and she's dating FH's best or good friend, then I wouldn't because I wouldn't want to place FH is an awkward situation with his friend.

Situation C) If it's a good friend or associate and she's dating someone that is not a friend to FH, then I will tell.

Situation D) If it's a good friend or associate and she's dating FH associate, then I will probably tell.

However, to make it even more complicated I think it depends on how I found out the information. If I saw the friend cheat, then yes I would tell in the case of Situation C and D and probably situation B.

But if FH told me that his friend told him, then I couldn't tell because I wouldn't want to jeopordize FH's relationship with his friend. If FH told me and his friend his dating my sister or my best friend, then I will tell but I will either talk to the friend or tell FH to tell his friend that I am going to tell. But then the friend would be an idiot because I'm extremely close to my best friend and my sister so he would have to know that I would tell and he shouldn't have told FH.

However, warning the friend that you are going to tell that he/she is cheating is dangerous. You never know what people might do.

Damn, this long answer shows the complexity of the situation

Bebalina Posted: Mar 31, 2005 07:50 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

no my answer stays the same...ONLY bc ur friends with both...if u were friends with just her and not him and he was cheating on her then yes! or vice versa

JimmysBride Posted: Mar 31, 2005 07:51 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

Depends on alot of things. If I thought she would believe me (some people are blinded by love or the other person) then yes, I probably would. If they were engaged to be married, maybe.... If they were married, NO. Like I said, I know that my COUSIN'S husband cheated on her during my DHs bachelor party (and I am very close to her), but I would never tell her unless she came to me and told me she was already suspicious of him and asked to know if I knew anything.

I would probably first put the seed of suspicion in her head, and see if she could catch him or weasel it out of him. It's such a painful thing to find out that someone has cheated on you... why would you want to be a part of something that will hurt her so deeply? Yes, she may appreciate it later but what if they work through it and stay together???? Then you will always be in that awkward position...

marc_rai Posted: Mar 31, 2005 07:54 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

Posted by JimmysBride

Depends on alot of things. If I thought she would believe me (some people are blinded by love or the other person) then yes, I probably would. If they were engaged to be married, maybe.... If they were married, NO. Like I said, I know that my COUSIN'S husband cheated on her during my DHs bachelor party (and I am very close to her), but I would never tell her unless she came to me and told me she was already suspicious of him and asked to know if I knew anything.

QUOTE]
I totally agree with this. But, I wouldn't even say anything to your cousin if she asked you if you knew anything because then she may get mad that you didn't tell her.

eric'sbride Posted: Mar 31, 2005 07:55 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

I would definitely tell. I would want to be told.

nylibride Posted: Mar 31, 2005 08:13 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

In either case, the common thread would be talking to my friend first. So, in your first situation, I would still talk to your friend first, not her fiance. In this hypothetical situation, I would likely go to my friend, but would have to know for absolute certainty that this was true.
There's not right or easy answser. It's a complicated mess either way with lots of emotions involved.

akaMrsT Posted: Mar 31, 2005 08:25 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

Absolutely!!!!

ETA - I am thinking of my best friend (26 years in September). I would tell her no matter what.

hbradio Posted: Mar 31, 2005 08:27 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

Hmmm thats a tough one....Id probably dance around the truth to see if she could get a clue and figure it out herself. As lame as that sounds....I just wouldnt want to just come out and say it.....

jesslangen Posted: Mar 31, 2005 09:26 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

I still think I would mind my own business. I dont like to meddle in other peoples business. If they came to me for advice I would offer it...but I dont like to throw myselves into those situations. Thats just me.

CPAPPAS Posted: Mar 31, 2005 10:14 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

I don't think I could let her get married to someone that is cheating on her... too big of a commitment...you should know all the facts before being legally bound!

Jamie&MarkSept.'05 Posted: Mar 31, 2005 11:13 PM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

I think it is a whole different level of cheating when marriage is involved...

You can't just break-up once you are married...there is a whole legal process that you have to go through, you can't just walk away.

I think once marriage is thrown into the mix, you need to tell. If someone is cheating on their FH or FW, they don't deserve to have your trust since clearly trust means nothing to them.

If they would do this to someone they are agreeing to spend the rest of their life with, think how quick they would be willing to step all over you....

boobobunny Posted: Apr 01, 2005 08:30 AM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

as I said before if the person who is being cheated on is important to you and you wish to remain a part of their lives...then you need to say something...because they will eventually find out, and if they find out that you knew all along and didn't say anything you might lose the friendship

Blu-ize Posted: Apr 01, 2005 08:52 AM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

It really depends on the friend. If it's someone who is rational and you can sit down with them and be realistic about the reaction, then yes. But if you know the person is living in their own world and not facing reality, I would tread lightly.

melissaandsean Posted: Apr 01, 2005 09:05 AM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

Posted by jesslangen

I still think I would mind my own business. I dont like to meddle in other peoples business. If they came to me for advice I would offer it...but I dont like to throw myselves into those situations. Thats just me.

I'd do the same.

Borricuamorena0905 Posted: Apr 01, 2005 09:08 AM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

Yes, I would tell my best friend.

Darcy Posted: Apr 01, 2005 09:45 AM

Re: For everyone who posted on the thread about my cheating friend PLEASE COME IN!

knew this would happen. He is right. You guys are totaly getting torn here.

Definitly tell him, unless you think she is going to fix it herself. In this situation, I am doubting it.