for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

stealthgroom Posted: Oct 26, 2006 01:00 AM

for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

Anyone on here doing a groom's tish?

I'd love to do one, but many of my friends are not Jewish and I'm trying to figure out if it would work...

nycgirl79 Posted: Oct 26, 2006 01:05 AM

Re: for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

We're not doing it....Is it something you're pretty serious about having? Maybe speak to your Rabbi about possible alternatives? Are you going to do the bedeken?

stealthgroom Posted: Oct 26, 2006 01:14 AM

Re: for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

Posted by nycgirl79

We're not doing it....Is it something you're pretty serious about having? Maybe speak to your Rabbi about possible alternatives? Are you going to do the bedeken?

yep, the bedeken, der whole shmear!

i'm torn on the tish. really, it sounds like an awesome time. For those who think i'm speaking another language, well, I am. The tish (yiddish for table) is, well, the best way I can think to describe it is kinda like a Jewish friar's roast on your wedding day. Basically, the groom is supposed to give a speech to his friends and male family members, usually on the Torah portion of the week. He's interrupted with toasts, heckling, and general breaking out into song. there's snacks, and drink (shnaps, scotch, etc). The funny thing is, my Dad hadn't even heard of it, and he went to religious/hebrew school 6 days a week in the Bronx when he was a youth.

I have a lot of non-jewish friends, and I don't want to alienate anyone. It is equally important that our wedding be jewish and that non jews feel just as loved and important and involed as the jews there.

nycgirl79 Posted: Oct 26, 2006 01:26 AM

Re: for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

Hmmm....It definitely seems like a fun time, but it might be a little 'much' for your non-jewish friends. And btw, your dad is definitely not alone! Both my fh and I are bar/bat mitzvahed and hebrew schooled, and we'd never heard of a tish until recently.
Ultimately it's your wedding, and it's (hopefully) a once in a lifetime event. I say go all out - I'm sure your friends (jews and non-jews) will do everything they can to make all of your wedding events special.

ssdbk Posted: Oct 26, 2006 10:41 PM

Re: for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

I've heard of it but I never knew what it was called.

We didn't do it. We did share a bit of our culture, though, by inviting lots of people for the Auf Ruf (a week before the wedding, the groom is called to the Torah. The bride, too, in a more reform Temple.)

Blu-ize Posted: Oct 27, 2006 08:59 AM

Re: for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

DH did this one morning every early..he was accompanied by both fathers though. I don't know if this is the same thing. Maybe someone will come along to correct me, but it sounds very similar.

FallBride05 Posted: Oct 27, 2006 09:27 AM

Re: for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

stealthgroom - you have FM!

We had an ultra orthodox ceremony and all the fun stuff that goes before it.

OrangeGrl Posted: Oct 27, 2006 10:36 AM

Re: for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

I am not jewish but I think it's a cute idea and if you want to do it maybe you could explain it before and then your nonjewish guest will understand what is happening

stealthgroom Posted: Oct 27, 2006 10:56 AM

Re: for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

Posted by MissMaster13

I am not jewish but I think it's a cute idea and if you want to do it maybe you could explain it before and then your nonjewish guest will understand what is happening

That's definitely been the consensus among my buddies as well. As one friend of mine pointed out, 'You don't have to know Rashi to make jokes, heckle, make snarky jokes or sing.'

(Rashi: important Rabbi of the old days)

We're not ultra orthodox, but we are very traditional in a lot of ways, so we want to do a lot of the beatiful old school customs, while being egalitarian (for example, my FW may do a tisch too, which is good because she knows more torah than i do)

donegal419 Posted: Oct 27, 2006 06:27 PM

Re: for Jewish Brides and Grooms: tish you? i don't even know you!

I think that sounds awesome... now, mind you I am a first-generation Irish Catholic who has never even heard of a TISH, but it sounds like a lot of fun. Also, it sounds like it's pretty important to you to have it and important to your cultural and religious traditions.

Honestly, it's YOUR wedding... do it how you want with the tradtions you want. I am having my full catholic Mass... and if I alienate people (including the 2 Jewish people in my bridal party) it is not my intent, but it is my FH's and I wish for our wedding day. I really think your desire for the cultural, religious, etc. etc. wedding you want should take precedence over the fact that you might 'offend' people. In fact, if I was at your wedding, I would enjoy because it would be something different for me and I would learn something about the culture and religion that I didn't know before.

GO FOR IT!!!!!!