For my teachers...
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER?
by Jeff Foxworthy
1. You can
hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to
the child
out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating
something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words 'It's Ms/Mr.
_________' and know
you have been spotted.
4. You have 25 people that
accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or
another.
5. You can eat
a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.
6. You've trained
yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of
the day: lunch and
prep period.
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most
likely, you can use
that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for
something in the classroom.
8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be
equipped with a margarita
machine.
9. You want to slap the next
person who says 'Must be nice to work 7 to 3
and have summers
off.'
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell
if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that
unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says 'Boy,
the kids sure are
mellow today.'
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and
correct their behavior
when you are out in public.
14. You believe in
aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in
intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on
your own children.
17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without
getting at least five
items!
18. You ask your friends if the left
hand turn he just made was a 'good
choice or a bad choice.'
19. You
find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils
20. You are
secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
21. You understand
instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after
meeting his or her
parents.
by Jeff Foxworthy
1. You can
hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to
the child
out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating
something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words 'It's Ms/Mr.
_________' and know
you have been spotted.
4. You have 25 people that
accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or
another.
5. You can eat
a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.
6. You've trained
yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of
the day: lunch and
prep period.
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most
likely, you can use
that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for
something in the classroom.
8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be
equipped with a margarita
machine.
9. You want to slap the next
person who says 'Must be nice to work 7 to 3
and have summers
off.'
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell
if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that
unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says 'Boy,
the kids sure are
mellow today.'
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and
correct their behavior
when you are out in public.
14. You believe in
aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in
intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on
your own children.
17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without
getting at least five
items!
18. You ask your friends if the left
hand turn he just made was a 'good
choice or a bad choice.'
19. You
find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils
20. You are
secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
21. You understand
instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after
meeting his or her
parents.
