For ones that live with your fh

MrsA814 Posted: Mar 08, 2005 06:51 PM

For ones that live with your fh

Does you fh hangout with all week and weekend or goes out with his friends.

Ok so if you didn't see your fh sunday cause he wanted to play cards and he plays that on tuesdays and friday but someone had to call cause they wanted to play. I told him no cause those days are for him to play. So of corse he didn't listen to me and went and played. So monday coomes along and i didn't see him at all day or night. cause he was work the night shift. So today is tuesday and he plays cards so i told him he could not play cause he played on sunday and plus i didn't see him yesterday. I feel like he does not want to hangout with me he rather play cards then to see me that is the way i feel. Do you think i should feel this way or no. I just feel really upset about it

Sorry for so long.

angelbear217 Posted: Mar 08, 2005 06:55 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

No, I would feel the same way. Unfortunately for me my FH comes home from work after I am asleep so I rarely see him during the week. However, If he decided to hang with friends on the weekend I would be mad because that is my time. So to make a long story short, I'm with you.

MrsA814 Posted: Mar 08, 2005 07:00 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

thank you

naps627 Posted: Mar 08, 2005 07:10 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I am on your side

David'sbride Posted: Mar 08, 2005 07:23 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

Yes, you are right. With the exception of work schedules why woud one member of a couple chose their friends three nights a week over their fiancee?

I must be one of the few girls whose fiancee is a real homebody. All of our friends have been married with children for years. Even if we both wanted to go out three nights a week there is noone else to hang with. I think this is just part of settling down and settling into the role.

Could he be trying to get in his last times with the boys?

We all need alone time or time with our friends but I agree with you, three days/nights is a bit much.

hmm8191 Posted: Mar 08, 2005 07:25 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I thinnk you're totally in the right. Does this happen a lot or is a one time thing? If it's a pattern I think you need top address it asap!!

MrsA814 Posted: Mar 08, 2005 07:31 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

It does not happen all the time but like months go by and he will do it again

littlebookworm4 Posted: Mar 08, 2005 07:52 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

i would feel the samw way after awhile. the first time or 2 okay - not a problem - i get some alone time but after that i have to say that i'd be pretty upset!

MissusJones Posted: Mar 08, 2005 08:28 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

Posted by Zena28

I feel like he does not want to hangout with me he rather play cards then to see me that is the way i feel. Do you think i should feel this way or no. I just feel really upset about it

Sorry for so long.

See at least you issues are human in relation!! My FH is addicted to video games, and there are days when I want to throw the whole 200+ game collection out the window. I can't wait til we have a house to kick his game room to a basement!!

sorry but i feel your pain is all i wanted to say

Kris77 Posted: Mar 08, 2005 08:56 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I agree that he should not spend so much time playing cards, but I do not agree however, that you should be telling him what he can and cant do. Just my opinion though. A guy needs time with his friends. I know to you it may be excessive, but, I think you too, should go out and do your own thing when you want to!

pressured Posted: Mar 09, 2005 10:39 AM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

Posted by Kris77

I agree that he should not spend so much time playing cards, but I do not agree however, that you should be telling him what he can and cant do. Just my opinion though. A guy needs time with his friends. I know to you it may be excessive, but, I think you too, should go out and do your own thing when you want to!

I agree. I would do the same exact thing on the days that he is home just so he can see how it feels..

Princess047 Posted: Mar 09, 2005 10:58 AM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I totally understand babe- I guess we all have our own storeis. For me, FH comes home and he is beat from work, he eats dinner and falls asleep most of the time. he has been working so hard - I feel so bad but many times I feel alone and miss him.

Oh well - I hope that after the wedding things will get better!

SUNSHINE24 Posted: Mar 09, 2005 11:41 AM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I would be upset too. Maybe you should chain him down

TEDNJENN Posted: Mar 09, 2005 11:52 AM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I wish my FH would go out and play with his friends once in a while... He is such a home body..... At least during this time of year. He is in construction.

My feelings will change once we have children ..thats when he will be going out more...

Sweetpea130000 Posted: Mar 09, 2005 12:11 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I agree you should feel a little slighted. My FI is also a homebody, but I also think part of it, there aren't many people for us to hang out with if we do want to go out b/c most are married and either have kids or are trying to save money for a house.

MrsA814 Posted: Mar 10, 2005 10:12 AM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I don't always tell him that he can't go out it is when he has been out for the passed 2 days. That i didn't see him that is when i'm like please don't go out. There is times you have to put your foot down and tell them now cause if you don't then they walk all over you cause you are not tell them no. I would say i have not seen you. I don't tell him or chain him down i wish i could but i can't he has to have his free time and i let him trust me i do and his other guy friends girls do not let them they let him like 1 in a blue moon so he is lucky.

jesslangen Posted: Mar 10, 2005 11:23 AM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I would feel the same way. Its not like he's deciding to take you out to dinner with another couple, he is completely excluding you and that isn't fair!

melissaandsean Posted: Mar 10, 2005 12:57 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

okay, so we live together. that means every single night he goes to bed next to me and every morning he wakes up next to me. I don't need to spend every other moment outside of work with him. I used to feel like we had to spend more time together. But really, when you live with someone, you really already spend all of your time together.

So perhaps it's not the quantity but the quality.

I feel like sitting down to dinner and watching tv is not TIME TOGETHER, but in reality it is, it just not be what I had in mind as far as a 'good time together'. Am I making any sense?

Perhaps you guys need to implement a 'date night' or something similar, where the time you spend together is fun and different then your day to day time together. That might help.

For me, I've become so secure and content in our relationship, that I have no problem with him doing his own thing and me doing my own thing. If we don't see each other for a few days, there will still be the rest of our lives to spend with each other. I used to get myself SO worked up about not seeing him for X number of days and how that's not 'right' and how it should be 'X amount'. But when I stopped concentrating so much on a specific number, and more on just the time we spent together and the fun we were having, it was so much better.

I wouldn't go back to the way I was for any amount of money. The freedom and security and contentment we have now, far outweighs all the stressing over the amount of time we spent together.

Bunnymonkey Posted: Mar 10, 2005 01:00 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

I would suggest sitting down and talking with FH about which day is YOURS together, and then just sticking to it.

Kris77 Posted: Mar 10, 2005 06:07 PM

Re: For ones that live with your fh

Maybe I am just reading way too much into this, but in your last post you said you wish you COULD chain him down. Correct me if I am wrong. Although I do understand that you want to spend time with him, and want to at the same time give him his freedom, you would be totally happy if he was ALWAYS with you. I know he has his set nights of when he goes out with his friends, and maybe in the past couple of weeks he has been doing it more than he normally would, but it seems that he sees that you are telling him what to do, and he aint havin it. Go out with your girlfriends on the same nights he goes out, or find something to keep YOU occupied.

My FH is a homebody also. But, when he IS home, he is always online with this car message boards, and this and that. Bottom line, men need their own time, no matter what they are doing. Thats the beauty of a relationship, you are one, but still your own person. Let him do what he wants. He isnt out doing things he shouldnt, he's just playing cards.