For the ladies who's mother has passed away...

How are you planning to not break down at ceremony? I have my sisters, but I am so scared that with all the emotions of the wedding itself, I am just gonna loose it when they say the prayer for my mother...and once I start I can't stop..I know she will still be there in spirit...but still...is anyone else in this situation, and how are you planning on handling it?

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Posted by SN2BMRSBURTE

How are you planning to not break down at ceremony? I have my sisters, but I am so scared that with all the emotions of the wedding itself, I am just gonna loose it when they say the prayer for my mother...and once I start I can't stop..I know she will still be there in spirit...but still...is anyone else in this situation, and how are you planning on handling it?

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There is no getting around it you WILL cry, but remember she is smiling at you and will want you to smile. So with that in mind dry your eyes and smile for your mom and throw her a kiss, that will make her happy too.
Good luck!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss, I know how hard it is.

My dad passed away but I don't concentrate on his passing, I concentrate on his life. I always used to break down at weddings during the daughter/father dance. But no more. I don't know why, it was a waste of my tears. He passed away 4 yrs ago. He never even met my FH and I know he would love him!

I don't think 'oh, if only he could see this, if only he could see that.'

It's different for everyone. But try and think of the people you do have there that mean a lot to you. Think of the man you're going to marry. Life is too short and your wedding day is WAY too short to spend it being sad.

I know how you feel. I lost my father and will have a hard time in the church. However, your mom would want you to be happy on your wedding day. She's there in spirit. I plan on crying a bit, getting it out of my system and moving forward with the day.

You can do it!

Thanks for the advice

I'm just such a mush...I cry at everything

Im sure it will be hard to hold back the emotions.

It is only natural for you to cry but try and remember that she will be watching down on your special day from heaven and beaming with pride! I offer you some

My father passed away when I was 13.... and decades later, it's still a rough spot for me. His identical twin, my uncle, passed away 10 years ago. My cousin also passed away 2 years ago.

I decided I would have no memorials.... frankly, becuase it would automatically change me from happy to a basket case. Can't do it. And a lot of my family would also become sad....

is that wrong to not have a memorial prayer?

I know exactly how you feel...I lost my mom almost three years ago and I know that there will probably be some point that I break down..given the heightened emotions of the day..and I am such a crier anyway (and an UGLY one at that!).

You said you think it will be during the prayer for your mother...This is just a thought , but have you considered not doing something specific like that? If you know that it might be a trigger for you? Or do you just mean the moment when they pause to rememeber those that are not with us?

Maybe there is another way you can honor her memory, such as including in the program that the ceremony is given in her memory. That way she is recognized, but in a more subtle fashion.

I plan to do something like that....and also have a small bouquet charm with my favorite picture of us. Something that I willl know is there, but does not have to be a focal point of attention. I thought about memorial candles and some of the other ways girls on here have incorporated those that are no longer with us, but I think it would make me (and perhaps other guests) way too sad to see an empty chair, or candles and pictures that day.

Just a thought.

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Posted by portjeffbride

My father passed away when I was 13.... and decades later, it's still a rough spot for me. His identical twin, my uncle, passed away 10 years ago. My cousin also passed away 2 years ago.

I decided I would have no memorials.... frankly, becuase it would automatically change me from happy to a basket case. Can't do it. And a lot of my family would also become sad....

is that wrong to not have a memorial prayer?

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I don't think it's wrong not to, I was thinking if I should or not..cause it's not just gonna be me upset, it will be my sisters and my stepfather too ....but I kinda do want the prayer for her too...I think we will have it, and I will just have to try to keep myself together, because FH hates it when I cry...I don't want him to feel bad..it's supposed to be a happy day for us.

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Posted by ido06

I know exactly how you feel...I lost my mom almost three years ago and I know that there will probably be some point that I break down..given the heightened emotions of the day..and I am such a crier anyway (and an UGLY one at that!).

You said you think it will be during the prayer for your mother...This is just a thought , but have you considered not doing something specific like that? If you know that it might be a trigger for you? Or do you just mean the moment when they pause to rememeber those that are not with us?

Maybe there is another way you can honor her memory, such as including in the program that the ceremony is given in her memory. That way she is recognized, but in a more subtle fashion.

I plan to do something like that....and also have a small bouquet charm with my favorite picture of us. Something that I willl know is there, but does not have to be a focal point of attention. I thought about memorial candles and some of the other ways girls on here have incorporated those that are no longer with us, but I think it would make me (and perhaps other guests) way too sad to see an empty chair, or candles and pictures that day.

Just a thought.

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Yeah, we are just doing the moment where the priest says to pray for our loved ones...but he says a couple specific names, my mom being one of them.

I carried her picture on my bouquet so that she could be with me the entire time.....
I also have a poem that I included in my program. I'll share it with you too. I'll FM you.

I know how you feel; at one point we almost cancelled our wedding b/c I missed my Mom so much and felt guilty celebrating.


Your Mom will be there
Check your FM

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Posted by Strings22

My FH and I are going through a similar situation. My FH's parents are both gone he lost them a few years back when he was 21 they both passed in the same year due to cancer. It is extremely hard for him since his parents were around for his's brothers and sisters weddings. We are having an additional candle lighting just for them. We have spoke about how this will effect him at the wedding and is he going to breakdown. My FH told me that not having the father son talk the day of the wedding will hurt but he just keeps in mind that they are watching and lighting the candle or saying a prayer brings them even closer...bascially he says they have the front row seats!!! It will be emotional but remember that this is a joyful time and all tears yours and everyone esles are tears of joy and I think that your mother would say the same thing. Keep your head up she is happy and she will have front row seats for yours.

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Thanks
I hope your FH is ok, during your ceremony too.
You're both in my thoughts

Im so sorry for your loss.

I lost both of my parents when I was 20 (18 years ago). My wedding day will be very hard, but I will try to be strong.

I lost my mom 2-1/2 years ago and I really wish she was with me thru this whole planning process. I miss her so much.
I'll probably be crying, tearing up right now as I type this, but will try to hold onto the good memories for that day and remember that she will be with me in my heart.
I am attaching a picture of her to my bo-k, so I can see her smiling face when I feel like i am going to cry, and I'll have her wedding ring pinned to the inside of my gown.