For those couples paying for the wedding themselves...

my parents are helping a little while FMIL isnt footing a dime. the original invite design i had just said 'together with their parents' and even though i objected we had to put parents names because FMIL insisted on her name being there

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Posted by jennandrolo

my parents are helping a little while FMIL isnt footing a dime. the original invite design i had just said 'together with their parents' and even though i objected we had to put parents names because FMIL insisted on her name being there

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my FMIL is going to be pissed when she sees her name isnt on the invite and my parents name are....but since she isnt putting in a penny....her name doesnt go on the invite=) she wont see them till after there sent out anyway, so nothing she can do about it

FMIL gave me deposit and then some on my dress and also agreed to pay for upgrade to room, possibly flowers. plus i know they will be giving us a sweet 'Buste' because FFIL told FH that he's been 'saving up' and to let him know if we wanted our wedding gift before the wedding or after.

my mom and father don't really have money like that but my mom will probrably give me $500 and more if she can and father will prob send me $1200 based on what they did for my sis. coz my mom said she won't do for one and not the other.

this is a good question and i was just thinking about it. we're paying for the whole thing - my mom is buying my dress and I'm sure will give us a nice gift, as will his mom.

i guess technically the invite should just be us, but i'm pretty sure we will do together with our families. esp b/c if you don't consider the paying factor, I want 'family' on their... it's not just my parents but also my sisters etc. that are involved in the process (whether financially or emotionally)

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Posted by jennandrolo

my parents are helping a little while FMIL isnt footing a dime. the original invite design i had just said 'together with their parents' and even though i objected we had to put parents names because FMIL insisted on her name being there

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well see i think its kinda bold of her to not contribute a penny yet insist to be on the invite...neither his parents nor mine have mentioned a thing about being on the invites. but even if one was giving and not the other we would still put both names just so they wouldn't get embarassed about not having money to contribute. but if they have it to contribute and choose not to thats diff.

we paid for our wedding but put both sets of parents on the invitation. the way we looked at it was ...... yes, we're paying for our own wedding, but our parents sacraficed a lot while raising us, putting us through sports, school.....etc. That's how we felt about it..........we are who we are because of them.......

this is something i have been agonizing about...we are paying ourselves but i have a feeling his parents are going to help us out a bit when it gets closer. so if they do should i add their names to the invites? but my parents won't be helping at all!! so i would only put his parents' names, not mine if they do end up helping?

it's kinda stressin me out. i do like how jteach worded it...our names and then something like 'along with their families'. that sounds nice.

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Posted by billandme

we paid for our wedding but put both sets of parents on the invitation. the way we looked at it was ...... yes, we're paying for our own wedding, but our parents sacraficed a lot while raising us, putting us through sports, school.....etc. That's how we felt about it..........we are who we are because of them.......

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I agree, as long as they are loving and good parents with good intentions who cares who pays more than the other or not at all...if they don't have it to give I'm not going to be mad. I know if they had it...they'd love nothing more than to pay for my wedding but mom just bought her first home in VA where she's making less money and father is having a rough time in PR

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

this is something i have been agonizing about...we are paying ourselves but i have a feeling his parents are going to help us out a bit when it gets closer. so if they do should i add their names to the invites? but my parents won't be helping at all!! so i would only put his parents' names, not mine if they do end up helping?

it's kinda stressin me out. i do like how jteach worded it...our names and then something like 'along with their families'. that sounds nice.

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yeah but my concern is that ur parents may get embarassed to know everyone attending ur wedding will know they couldn't afford to help you pay for your wedding or didn't support it financially. it could be a big blow to their pride. and besides who hasta know besides you and FH that ur parents aren't paying? this topic just leaves too much opportunity for broken pride, hurt feelings, embarassment and harsh feelings and rather than deal with the possible drama of being the cause of hurt feelings on ur wedding day...it may be easier to suck it up and give both parents credit.

although I'm sure it may vary depending on the type of relationship u have with the parents in question...but i'd say if u plan on maintaining good relationships with both parents...just give them both the honorable mention.

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

this is something i have been agonizing about...we are paying ourselves but i have a feeling his parents are going to help us out a bit when it gets closer. so if they do should i add their names to the invites? but my parents won't be helping at all!! so i would only put his parents' names, not mine if they do end up helping?

it's kinda stressin me out. i do like how jteach worded it...our names and then something like 'along with their families'. that sounds nice.

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yeah but my concern is that ur parents may get embarassed to know everyone attending ur wedding will know they couldn't afford to help you pay for your wedding or didn't support it financially. it could be a big blow to their pride. and besides who hasta know besides you and FH that ur parents aren't paying? this topic just leaves too much opportunity for broken pride, hurt feelings, embarassment and harsh feelings and rather than deal with the possible drama of being the cause of hurt feelings on ur wedding day...it may be easier to suck it up and give both parents credit.

although I'm sure it may vary depending on the type of relationship u have with the parents in question...but i'd say if u plan on maintaining good relationships with both parents...just give them both the honorable mention.

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Thats exactly what Im thinking. I know our parents are very upset they cant afford to give us the wedding we want. And I agree about giving them the mention b/c they will help out as much as they can (not expected though) and I would like to mention them and give them the respect they deserve. FH is just in one of his moods tonight, so i'll have to talk about this again with him another time. we have a while before invtes need to be done anyway

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

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Posted by billandme

we paid for our wedding but put both sets of parents on the invitation. the way we looked at it was ...... yes, we're paying for our own wedding, but our parents sacraficed a lot while raising us, putting us through sports, school.....etc. That's how we felt about it..........we are who we are because of them.......

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I agree, as long as they are loving and good parents with good intentions who cares who pays more than the other or not at all...if they don't have it to give I'm not going to be mad. I know if they had it...they'd love nothing more than to pay for my wedding but mom just bought her first home in VA where she's making less money and father is having a rough time in PR

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That is such an exciting thing for your mom!!! I hope everything works out for her

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Posted by billandme

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

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Posted by billandme

we paid for our wedding but put both sets of parents on the invitation. the way we looked at it was ...... yes, we're paying for our own wedding, but our parents sacraficed a lot while raising us, putting us through sports, school.....etc. That's how we felt about it..........we are who we are because of them.......

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I agree, as long as they are loving and good parents with good intentions who cares who pays more than the other or not at all...if they don't have it to give I'm not going to be mad. I know if they had it...they'd love nothing more than to pay for my wedding but mom just bought her first home in VA where she's making less money and father is having a rough time in PR

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That is such an exciting thing for your mom!!! I hope everything works out for her

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thanks! she moved there to follw her heart and her love...so I think even though she makes less money she's happy as a pig in____ . as long as she's happy, I'm happy.

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Posted by billandme

we paid for our wedding but put both sets of parents on the invitation. the way we looked at it was ...... yes, we're paying for our own wedding, but our parents sacraficed a lot while raising us, putting us through sports, school.....etc. That's how we felt about it..........we are who we are because of them.......

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I feel the same way - we put both of our parents on there...Mr. and Mrs. ______Together with Mr. and Mrs. _____ - out of respect and appreciation and honor!

i think we'll just put our names....we are paying for EVERYTHING ourselves

I hadn't even thought of this, but my mom is making our invites and has done a mock-up already, it just has our names, no parents... 'Laila and Roy request the honor of your presence at their marriage...' kind of thing.

FMIL/FFIL haven't discussed contributing anything but they did throw us our engagement party, gave us all our china, and I have a feeling will be more helpful as the day approaches... so I wonder if they will be offended that they're not mentioned? Maybe it's not a big deal b/c my parents aren't mentioned either?

Hmmmmm