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For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?UPDATE

sarahradio5 Posted:

For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?UPDATE

Okay... my guy does the laundry and occasionally puts dishes in the dishwasher.

BUT he's home more than I am (doesn't leave for work each day until 1)... it just aggravates me that he can't bring a DVD back to the store, clean up a little, put his coffee cup in the sink, look around and put SOMETHING away, make the bed,

SOMETHING! Take initiative and say, 'Hey... I can do THIS!'. Why does he have to put ME in the position to have to TELL him what to do!?!?!?'

UPDATE:
Get this.... I actually ran into the woman we bought the house from last night!!! SO RANDOM!!! Haven't seen her since Christmas time! She's like, 'I keep wanting to stop by!'. On the outside, I'm like, 'Oh, anytime!'.. On the inside, 'OMG... NEVER! It's a mess!!'.

Got my home and my FH and I agreed we need to come up with a better plan. AND we agreed that we're doing a MAJOR CLEANING this weekend!!!

See, HIS problem is messy, with coffee cups and leaving crap everywhere. MINE is organization with papers and mail everyhwhere and not having an office or a system for everything yet. Any suggestions? I WANT A CLEAN HOUSE!!!
dani18 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

We have an understanding....I HATE DOING THE DISHES!!!! So....he does the dishes and cleans the kitchen....and i do everything else....laundry, bathroom, vaccum, dust....and its PERFECT! There are times though....when i do want to kill him because he'll see a fuzz or a piece of paper on the floor...step over it and doesn't pick it up!!!! ***??!?!

sarahradio5 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

Posted by dani18

We have an understanding....I HATE DOING THE DISHES!!!! So....he does the dishes and cleans the kitchen....and i do everything else....laundry, bathroom, vaccum, dust....and its PERFECT! There are times though....when i do want to kill him because he'll see a fuzz or a piece of paper on the floor...step over it and doesn't pick it up!!!! ***??!?!


oh you poor thing... a FUZZ... TRADE WITH ME!!!!!!!!
tropicalbride07 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

I finally have to stop asking for him to help with the dishes...but he's great.
Laundry, cleaning, garbage, etc....he really tries to help around the house, especially since we are both busy.
sr081906 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

He does everything.
eden Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

OMG Sarah, I feel like you're describing my FH!

He's like that too! He only does the laundry and puts in dishes and takes 'em out!

But that's only 'cus he has more clothes than me to wash every week (2/3 are his!) and i cook so he feels guilty so he cleans.

Anything else i ask for and he starts griping about it!!!! He's supposed to take out the trash too but he complains about it everything and makes me take out the trash, tie it up and put it beside the doorway so he'll remember to take it out. %@%@!

At his old apartment, he had didn't vacuumed in 7 years or living there nor clean the kitchen floor!!!

Top that!!!
tuti0907 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

Posted by sarahradio5

Okay... my guys does the laundry and occasionally puts dishes in the dishwasher.

BUT he's home more than I am (doesn't leave for work each day until 1)... it just aggravates me that he can't bring a DVD back to the store, clean up a little, put his coffee cup in the sink, look around and put SOMETHING away, make the bed,

SOMETHING! Take initiative and say, 'Hey... I can do THIS!'. Why does he have to put ME in the position to have to TELL him what to do!?!?!?'


ANSWER: Because he's a man and they just don't have the brain molecules needed to comprehend such things.

My FH does the bathrooms, the floors, the windows and of course, takes out the garbage. I think I more than make-up for it by doing everything else.
SeptBride70 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

vinny doesn't do a thing-- not one freaking single thing-- but he does work about 60 hours a week AND goes to school-- and will be applying to med school soon so i can't knock him. however, i work 9-3 mon-fri and then i work a second job waitressing... so we are both working a lot. but i mean, the thing that annoys me: he opens the cabinet underneath the sink in the bathroom, knocks like four bottles over, doesn't pick them up-- THATS ANNOYING!! it takes two secs to pick it up-- just do it...

another thing, he shaves or brushes his teeth and it looks like he smushed a bug on the mirror and smeared it all over-- i mean, how hard is it to control the splashes?? i do it, look at my side: clean!

and the constant LEAVING STUFF EVERYWHERE!!! he never picks up after himself... he will take off his shirt, throw it on the nearest piece of furniture and then walk away-- socks on the floor, pants-- i'm constantly just walking around and picking things up

CLMon7906 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

Don't try to change him before changing yourself...that was our minister's advice at the wedding. Before you jump his stuff again for NOT making the bed, ask yourself why you couldn't do it? It's totally possible that he doesn't do some things around the house EVER because he never sees you do it. My DH used to NEVER under any circumstance make the bed if he left home last...b/c I always waited until I got home to make it. It bugged me to no end. But he was right, why should he feel compelled when I wasn't? Now that I've started to just put it out there that it's 50/50 and have shown I'll do more without complaining or asking, he jumps to help, volunteer and now even cleans the hairs out of the sink every morning after he shaves...something I'd begged him to do for 2 years. And instead of saying 'well, it's about time you made the bed' when he does do something you've secretly been dying for him to do, simply say 'thank you for making the bed today, it was quite helpful to me' or 'it was so nice of you to make the bed today so that i would have more time to_________' insert something that helps him...make dinner/iron shirts/DVR sportscenter...

kathrynlinton Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

It ain't gonna change ladies.

I've lived with DH for 3 years and he doesn't do anything. Nada. Oh wait, he cleans up his own garage!

I used to let it bother me, but now I just do it and have my own ways of doing each of the chores, so now if he tried to help, I'd probably get annoyed with him.

Oh and my favorite? He says he doesn't know how to make a bed. Um. He was in the ARMY, I think he does!
sarahradio5 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

Posted by kathrynlinton

Oh and my favorite? He says he doesn't know how to make a bed. Um. He was in the ARMY, I think he does!


At least yours claims stupidity... mine just says, 'I don't DO beds'. Well, did you say that to your lieutenent in the Air Force?

Then we shouldn't have gotten the King Sized Bed HE wanted because that is a friggin' B!TCH to make and it's always ME making it!

I left the DVD that he promised he would bring back on the couch right in the spot where he sits each morning so he would remember to bring it back. Just called to ask if he's bringing it back and he's like, with JERRY SPRINGER in the background, 'Not today, I don't have time'.

OH... and if he friggin' goes to ONE MORE ATM THAT'S NOT ROSLYN and pays $3.00 to take money out when he knows that is AGAINST EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING, and I NEVER DO THAT UNLESS IT'S AN EMERGENCY, I'm going to explode!!!

LEAVE YOURSELF TIME and go to the Roslyn at the store by our house!!!!
ali120206 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

My FH is great around the house. He vacuums at least once a week, cooks dinner for me, does the dishes, etc.

SeptBride70 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

Posted by sarahradio5

Posted by kathrynlinton

OH... and if he friggin' goes to ONE MORE ATM THAT'S NOT ROSLYN and pays $3.00 to take money out when he knows that is AGAINST EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING, and I NEVER DO THAT UNLESS IT'S AN EMERGENCY, I'm going to explode!!!

LEAVE YOURSELF TIME and go to the Roslyn at the bank by our house!!!!


ahhh sarah i'm dying over here!!!!!!

lipglossjunky73 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

I don't know - I am happy with whatever he does - I think he is such an amazing person, and I'm certainly not perfect - so I forget things, he forgets things - we are all human....

Nagging will never ever work with anyone... just love him and appreciate him for who he is - theres a reason you said yes when he popped the question, right?

Remember - you will have to take that 'for better or worse' vow - don't sweat the small stuff - we have been thru some pretty serious things, and at this point an unmade bed is small potatoes - remember - one day there will be births, deaths, tragedies, and joys - be there for each other thru all of it... an unwashed item, really, in the grand scheme of things, is so very insignificant!

good luck! It sounds like you are going thru a lot of stress lately - tonight - light some candles, pour some wine, get some oil, and give each other some nice hot massages!

then, he'll HAVE to change the sheets after!
LT708 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

Posted by CLMon7906

And instead of saying 'well, it's about time you made the bed' when he does do something you've secretly been dying for him to do, simply say 'thank you for making the bed today, it was quite helpful to me' or 'it was so nice of you to make the bed today so that i would have more time to_________' insert something that helps him...make dinner/iron shirts/DVR sportscenter...



That is what i do. I actually learned it in college when I was learning behavior management for 5 YEAR OLDS!! It is so true. I'm not joking! I compliment a kid in my kindergarten class and say 'Thanks for doing _____ because I was able to get your snacks out' and they will most likely do it again. I brought the same logic to my FH and it works Little does he know I'm using psychology on him that I use with a 5 year old.
CLMon7906 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

Posted by LT708

Posted by CLMon7906

And instead of saying 'well, it's about time you made the bed' when he does do something you've secretly been dying for him to do, simply say 'thank you for making the bed today, it was quite helpful to me' or 'it was so nice of you to make the bed today so that i would have more time to_________' insert something that helps him...make dinner/iron shirts/DVR sportscenter...



That is what i do. I actually learned it in college when I was learning behavior management for 5 YEAR OLDS!! It is so true. I'm not joking! I compliment a kid in my kindergarten class and say 'Thanks for doing _____ because I was able to get your snacks out' and they will most likely do it again. I brought the same logic to my FH and it works Little does he know I'm using psychology on him that I use with a 5 year old.


yeah, my mommy taught me that one...from her psychology classes! she used it on stubborn patients in the hospital and they'd do whatever she asked! they love to hear they 'helped.'
Katie&Chris2006 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

I'm very spoiled...FH is the one who does most everything.
KD1279 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

My FH is okay but in the morning he leaves his wet freakin' towl on OUR BED!!! Thats my pet peive!!!!!!

SeptBride70 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

Posted by kdecamp

My FH is okay but in the morning he leaves his wet freakin' towl on OUR BED!!! Thats my pet peive!!!!!!


ughhhh !!!!
sarahradio5 Posted:

Re: For those living with FH.... does anyone else's FH not DO anything around the house?

Posted by CLMon7906

Posted by LT708

Posted by CLMon7906

And instead of saying 'well, it's about time you made the bed' when he does do something you've secretly been dying for him to do, simply say 'thank you for making the bed today, it was quite helpful to me' or 'it was so nice of you to make the bed today so that i would have more time to_________' insert something that helps him...make dinner/iron shirts/DVR sportscenter...



That is what i do. I actually learned it in college when I was learning behavior management for 5 YEAR OLDS!! It is so true. I'm not joking! I compliment a kid in my kindergarten class and say 'Thanks for doing _____ because I was able to get your snacks out' and they will most likely do it again. I brought the same logic to my FH and it works Little does he know I'm using psychology on him that I use with a 5 year old.


yeah, my mommy taught me that one...from her psychology classes! she used it on stubborn patients in the hospital and they'd do whatever she asked! they love to hear they 'helped.'


I'll be sure to remember that.... WHEN HE HELPS.

It's just that he doesn't think my planning the wedding is WORK. He thinks it's just fun for me. Yes, I enjoy it, but it's stressful. But sometimes I feel like the mom. My dad came over the other day and was just so concerned about how little my FH apparently helps me by the looks of the house, and I feel that stress. I asked him to do a few things a couple of weeks ago, and they're still not done. It is just really stressful. Meanwhile, my dad does most of the work in my parents' house, along with working. My brother and sister are a real TEAM. I just want there to be a team effort with me and my FH. I can't work Full Time, do the finances/bills, clean the house, plan a wedding, do the food shopping, etc - and he just does laundry!

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