For those living with your FHs...

Do you feel like you took a 'step backwards' when you got engaged?

I've been living with my FH for 2 years now and I'm often referred to as the Mrs.. I don't think any of my neighbors are even aware of the fact that we're not married (we moved into our home about a year ago.) Hell, even my father refers to me as his wife and he as my husband! (He doesn't do it as a joke, but rather slips subconsciously. Many of my family members do it for some reason.)

I'm actually having a hard time adjusting to 'fiance' instead of 'husband'.

Do any of you feel the same way?

Re: For those living with your FHs...

not me - we moved in together about 2 years before we got engaged, and little changed. Our neighbors probably think we're married, but we don't speak much too them anyway! LOL

Re: For those living with your FHs...

I don't consider it a 'step backwards' per se - I just think that I won't be making any huge adjustments (which is mostly a good thing) when we return from our HM.

I don't think I have ever called my FH 'fiance' except on the wedding boards. I call him 'Luke'.

Re: For those living with your FHs...

Stef, I didn't mean 'backwards' in a negative way. My FH and I just joke around about it that way since most assume we're married.

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I moved in w/FH after it was clear our intentions. I think it's cute when people call me Mrs. FH joke about it alot and I make the household 'bill' phone calls when we want a new service. They are in his name, and I always say 'Hi this is Mrs. XXX'
We get a good laugh out of that.
I like thinking of him as my fiancee, and it makes me feel good, like yay, we're growing together. When I finally DO become his Mrs., I think our relationship will get even stronger than it is now. I can't wait !!!!!!!

Re: For those living with your FHs...

I actually prefer living with him before we are married.
You really get to know someone when you live with them! This was you see how you really get along and learn each others habits, good and bad, and learn to adjust to them.
My MOH lived with FH after they got married and there was so much they never knew about each other and sometimes fought more.
I guess everyone is different.

Re: For those living with your FHs...

We

Re: For those living with your FHs...

It seem as if people look at us differently now that he introduces me as his wife...it makes me think what we weren't together before??? Marriage seem to carry so much weight in our society.

Re: For those living with your FHs...

We kinda lived together before we officially moved in together. We got engaged the day we moved into our house so it really wasn't a step 'backward' but rather just a lot at one time! But because we do live together a lot of people like neighbors and service people do think we are married

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We planned on buying a house before we were officially engaged, and people had a weird sort of reaction that we were buying a house as boyfriend/girlfriend. We got engaged about a month before we closed on the house and everyone was relieved. We both knew we were going to get engaged, the house just happened to come first. Most of our neighbors refer to us as husband and wife, we were correcting them in the beginning, but they continue to do it, so we just go with it now. We're not actually getting married for another 7 months, which is another relief for our family, they're all kind of old fashioned, so the idea of living together is new to them!

Re: For those living with your FHs...

I lived with my DH for four years before our wedding, and I have to say -- that it IS different once you actually married in a very wonderful way. Although for me, I was rarely called Mrs. before the wedding, probably since we both look so young...

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I am going to be moving in with my FH before we get married. It will be a year before we get married

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I don't know what it is with the word fiance, but either my FH hates it or feels awkward using it or what. He continuously for over a year now that we've been engaged still introduces me to new people as his girlfriend....ugh, it drives me insane!! And we live together!!!!! I feel I've EARNED the title of fiance (after 6 years!!)...I guess when we get married, then maybe I'll be fiance rather than wife? LOL

Re: For those living with your FHs...

I feel very happy. We are both equally excited that we'll be married in two months.