Brides Helping Brides ™ - For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

cocoa Posted: Dec 20, 2004 07:14 PM

For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

I mean, are you well off or are you struggling? I ask b/c I hear so many people say that they won't start ttc until they are financially stable, but those who already have kids always say that you will NEVER be financially ready and i know of sooooo many people who have kids and started off with NOTHING...no college, no insurance, no house, some not even with jobs, but they are doing it. not like that is the BEST situation, however, I feel that if dh and i got pregnant, I wonder if we are really that poor off. Not that if we did, we wouldn't absolutely loooooooooove and adore a baby, but would we be terrible parents if we didn't have a house and weren't making a ton of money. i know it is hard on LI (hello, i soooo know this!!!) but I just want to get an idea of how everyone else is doing...do you mind sharing?

btrflygrl Posted: Dec 20, 2004 07:24 PM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

you are NEVER financially ready.....there is always some obstacle that falls in your way. DH and I make ends meet while saving some money. We jsut bought a new 'family' car which should end up cheaper via gas & insurance, but the monthly payments are more. You find ways to make it work.....

like I buy stuff at the dollar store, garage sales, thrift stores.

WE live without alot....no going out to eat, movies, fancy toys or jewelry. We're simple people and find true happiness in each others company.

princess99 Posted: Dec 20, 2004 08:36 PM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

We have a house already, but it is hard for us too. I have a stuident loan and only a p/t job, DH is in a secure job, but we do without a lot too. We buy on sales, and only go to a movie if we have 2 for one coupons etc. It is not easy, but we feel no one is ever ready , if we waited there would be no kids born. we also eat in a lot and stretch a dollar.

Monkeybride Posted: Dec 20, 2004 09:09 PM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

I don't know if you are ever totally ready.

DH and I have a house, cars are paid for, and we both have very well paying jobs.
We still have student loan debt so ideally we should pay that off before TTC but we're not waiting since we aren't getting any younger.

I do not plan on working FT once we have a baby so we plan to be aggressive this year and pay off as much of the debt as possible.

I think you just need to be prepared for what lies ahead and you should have some money saved and good insurance but that JMO, others may think differently.

soon2bMrs Posted: Dec 21, 2004 04:35 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

Right now DH and I live in Ireland, we have no house and I have no job. The baby is due 4/1 and we are scheduled to return to the US 6/1. I plan on looking for a job after the summer is over. We both have college educations (accting dgrs) and DH has a good job. I have good work experience so getting a new job shouldn't be a problem. I thought I wanted to wait until we got home so we could have a house etc. But then I realized that isn't as important as starting a family together. There are plenty of people who live in apts, condos or townhomes and start families. Lucky for us, we left our car with my parents so it is paid off and the only debt we have is my student loan. I think everyone always wishes they were in a better financial position before starting a family but somehow it works out.

I think if you are mentally ready that is what is important. Somehow the finances will work themselves out.

cocoa Posted: Dec 21, 2004 05:53 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

see...i'm a teacher but not tenured. dh is not with the best job ever, but either way, we're in a small apartment and our debt is about3k on the c/c and my student loan (which i consider good debt). not that we are ttc, but i need to know from you other ladies that if it were to happen, although it would be HARD!!! it would be possible. but as i said, not ttc, but like the gwen stefani song, sometimes i think an 'accident' would be welcome. ugh, sometimes i wish things were more concrete. in the mean time, i'm curious about other situations.

emilain Posted: Dec 21, 2004 08:18 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

I agree, you'll never be finanically stable unless you are a millionaire, and let me tell you, I have friends who are bordering on millionaire-status and they still worry about $ especially since they have huge spending habits. My DH and I are comfortable, we vacation once per year, we take-in food 1 per week. We buy what we want and fret afterwards, but it all turns out fine in the end. We are expecting baby #3 and we have 1 child in private school, my husband owns his own business and I work in the healthcare field p/t and have my own private practice, we make a a GREAT living with both our incomes combined, but everything is so expensive that at the end of the month it doesn't look like much!:We own a home in Huntington, own one car and a work van that my husabnd drives daily. I definitely like to shop and buy quality items, but I don't go crazy (I don't think) pray:

Calla Posted: Dec 21, 2004 10:17 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

I don't think that having a house is important. I do think though that one should be in the position of being able to consistently cover their expenses with a bit to spare each month before trying to have a child. If you can't live within your means without a child, it could get very, very ugly with children.

I'd sooner see someone making $35,000/year living in a one bedroom apartment with no car who puts away $100 a month in savings have a child then someone who makes $100,000/year but has huge debt and isn't sure they can make their payments every month... Financial stability isn't about a dollar amount to me, its about spending wisely!

JENHOS Posted: Dec 21, 2004 10:53 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

My only thought on having a home is that you will quickly outgrow an apartment. I have several friends doing this now. If you don't have the money to buy a house or bigger place now you will be saing even less after the baby comes.

For us (and this is JMO) we felt being able to get a house and afford those bills and still be able to save was important. I will be going back to work (both for financial reasons and my sanity)

But you just have to be comfortable in your decision and figure what you can and can't live without.

kpny622 Posted: Dec 21, 2004 11:48 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

Posted by JENHOS

My only thought on having a home is that you will quickly outgrow an apartment. I have several friends doing this now. If you don't have the money to buy a house or bigger place now you will be saing even less after the baby comes.

True, 3 of my friends have a child and they are outgrowing their HOUSES already! We decided to wait until we had a house but not until we were 'financially stable,' whatever that means, because I know myself and I will never, ever think we are financially stable!

That being said, my parents raised me and my little sister in a small apartment on a tiny salary until I was 5 years old and did just fine and we think our childhood was great!

nferrandi Posted: Dec 21, 2004 02:55 PM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

Posted by Calla
I'd sooner see someone making $35,000/year living in a one bedroom apartment with no car who puts away $100 a month in savings have a child then someone who makes $100,000/year but has huge debt and isn't sure they can make their payments every month... Financial stability isn't about a dollar amount to me, its about spending wisely!

Very well said! What you do with your money is more important than how much of it you actually have.

jennyg Posted: Dec 21, 2004 05:23 PM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

Its obviously a very personal decision, but for us we wanted to be settled in our jobs and have enough money saved that we wouldn't be stressed about having a baby. We also wanted time to do 'me things' like travel, go out to fancy dinners and enjoy time with just the two of us. We bought a house a year and a half ago and still weren't ready to have a baby...there were so many other things we wanted to take care of first.

However, I do believe its a personal decision and I know my parents raised three kids without 'two pennies to rub together' and we all came out just fine! Also, a child is a blessing so no matter when you have them, it will still be an amazing experience!

Betty Posted: Dec 21, 2004 08:12 PM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

We wonder the same things everyday. We don't have a house yet (but are in an apt in a house that my dad owns so we aren't getting killed in rent). I haven't been working for the past few months b/c I've been student teaching. We have a very decent amount of $$ in the bank but we want to use this for a house (DH insists on putting down 20%) when we find one. I am almost 35 and really need to get working on babies but on the other hand I want to get a job and start really looking for a house.

We always wonder is it better to have a baby now while we are paying low rent and I can stay home (at least for a little while) or work PT subbing... OR do we buy a house first and struggle a little when we have a baby and I go to work right away (mind you, I just finished student teaching so I would need to FIND a job - this is the worst part).

I think the ladies here are right, there is no real right time. Chances are you will never feel financially secure........We are just playing russian roulette - with having a baby - and whatever is meant to be will be

dm24angel Posted: Dec 24, 2004 05:29 PM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

We are going to TTC right after the wedding and we do NOT consider ourselves finacially stable, yet neither was my mom, his parents or a lot of people for that matter, but we are TRULY ready for kids. We have debt and no house but we will love a baby, so why wait? We have enough to not be suffering we know that. We've always made it through emergency's that occur so we know if that happened we could do it again.
Our goal would be to get a house before the child started Elementary school, that way there would not be the possibility of changing school districts. It's all about the individual couple IMO.

We live in a 1 bedroom apt. now. We wont consider moving till the baby is at least 6 months, because we dont need bigger till then, so why waste money ...

C'mon..NO one unless they have 2 $100,000 incomes and live frugally can afford children, but it never stopped a ton of people, and I dont see anything I could complain about in my own childhood and my parents had a LOT less..

cluelessbride Posted: Dec 24, 2004 07:09 PM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

For my DH and I it is very important to not have to worry about money before we have children. We both grew up not being able to have things we should have had (I didn't go to the Dr for years b/c we couldn't afford it). My parents were very proud and would never have accepted help, which was bad b/c thier kids suffered for it.

ANYWHO....we would lose our minds if we brought a child into this world without being financially secure.

Now, to us, financially secure may mean something totally different than to someone else. To us, it means having a home and having enough money to save for retirement so that our children do not have to take of us, and to not worry about buying groceries or taking an occasional vacation.

Maybe it's sad to say, but for us it comes down to this:

-we either get over our feelings of money-nervousness and have a child(ren) anyway

-we don't have children until we feel financially secure

Stefanie Posted: Dec 27, 2004 10:39 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

My DH and I are expecting in June 05. We live in a very roomy 1 bedroom co-op. My wonderful catholic school teaching job doesn't pay much, however his job brings in good pay. I'm not going back to work in September next year because I want to be home with the baby. One of our cars are paid for and the only big bill we have is our mortgage. We have about 30 grand saved but of course it's never enough.

Our decision was this....you're never ready for a baby...emotionally, financially, etc... but we wanted to be in our late twenties when we had a baby so we will deal with the situation. This baby was planned and we know that we're not millionaires (and probably will never be) but we're doing what we want to do. Besides...you'll never be happy with any amount of money...unless you win the win-for life lotto...ha

emilain Posted: Dec 27, 2004 10:45 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

Posted by Stefanie

We have about 30 grand saved but of course it's never enough.

WOW! 30 grand!!? That a great start, we had no money in savings when we had our first born, come to think of it, I thinlk the last time we had that much money in the back was when we bought our house, and that was gone after closing and othe rhome necessities. I think you have a great start Stefanie, i don't know many people with that much saved up who also own a home/condo, good for you!!!

Stefanie Posted: Dec 27, 2004 10:50 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

Posted by emilain

Posted by Stefanie

We have about 30 grand saved but of course it's never enough.

WOW! 30 grand!!? That a great start, we had no money in savings when we had our first born, come to think of it, I thinlk the last time we had that much money in the back was when we bought our house, and that was gone after closing and othe rhome necessities. I think you have a great start Stefanie, i don't know many people with that much saved up who also own a home/condo, good for you!!!

Thanks!! I guess I'm a bit mental, if I think we're poor...it must be this darn pregnancy thing...

StepherG Posted: Dec 27, 2004 10:53 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

My DH and I make decent money, own a nice large home and have money to play with every month...BUT now that we have a baby coming and looked into Daycare....we will have NO MONEY to play anymore. We will be strapped monthly...we are starting to get a little concerned!

emilain Posted: Dec 27, 2004 11:02 AM

Re: For those of you TTC...not to be nosy, but what is your financial status'

Posted by StepherG

My DH and I make decent money, own a nice large home and have money to play with every month...BUT now that we have a baby coming and looked into Daycare....we will have NO MONEY to play anymore. We will be strapped monthly...we are starting to get a little concerned!

That is exactly why I told my job they HAD to give me a p/t position or I'd be leaving, they got so scared to think I'd leave that they quickly adjusted my job assignment. I figured the amount of money I made would be cut significantly becasue of daycare costs. Now I work part time at the hospital and have my private practice at night (when my husband gets home) and my income is a few thousand more than if I worked f/t at the hospital. Jobs are sometimes flexible maybe they can help you out!