For those of you who live far away from your FH....

prncssrachel Posted: May 24, 2003 12:56 PM

For those of you who live far away from your FH....

I am moving back to LI in the end of June, but I have to leave FH in Massachusetts to finish out school How is it being so far away from your FH? It's only until the end of December, then he moves home, too, but I am really sad thinking about it. Especially because he works on weekends, so I will only see him like twice a month!!!!! I'm living with him now, and I just can't believe I am moving away from him. I feel like a bad person

jenny2penny Posted: May 24, 2003 01:04 PM

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prncssrachel Posted: May 24, 2003 01:06 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

I know it's the right thing. I know we need to save for the wedding and that it will be difficult for me to find a job if I stay with him until December, but I just am so sad. My mom keeps telling me that I am making a huge mistake by leaving him there because I won't be able to last without him, so I think she is making me feel worse than I already did. I just know I'll miss him

Annieb Posted: May 24, 2003 01:09 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

After seeing my FH every day for four years i had to move to SYracuse for a year. i HATE IT. especially since it is the year we are planning the wedding. Syracuse is 5 1/2 hours away by car.

my advice: save your money for airfare. we see each other every weekend. we alternate weekends although, he comes here more. so that way we never go more than five days without seeing each other. Although we are spending a fortune it is worth it

Three more months and i will be home for good. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! The time goes by fast...you'll see

prncssrachel Posted: May 24, 2003 01:12 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

Wow, a whole year, that's more than I have. I give you a lot of credit! I mean, it's been a rough year. I moved away from my family for the first time EVER to go to MA and work while FH finished school, and so I missed them SOOOO much, and now it will be the other way around. I'll miss FH so much, but I'll finally be near my family again. But soon, I just have to think that, soon, everyone will be in one place again!

Annieb Posted: May 24, 2003 01:15 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

I am here away from everyone...so i think that made it alot worse...my family, my friends and my FH

It will be easy with your family around...they will keep you distracted! It will probably be harder for him !

prncssrachel Posted: May 24, 2003 01:16 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

I know, and that's why I feel so guilty. Especially because it's not like I HAVE to move.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: May 24, 2003 01:30 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

Well it will depned on a few things. How busy are you?

I think it will be no big deal (after about a month or two) IF you see him at least once or twice a month and TALK EVERY night on the phone.

My FH is in michigan. We lived together for just under 5 years. He has been there since August. We will be living together again either at the end of July or the beginning of August.

I won't lie - IT was MISERABLE for the first few months - until say december. BUT UNLIKE you where you are DRIVING distance we HAD to fly to see one another and with us both being in school it was expensive and hard to work with our schedules so we would only see each other about once every 2 months. THAT is hard. When we see each other more often it is much easier.

Remember Mass is VERY close - it is NO big deal if one of you gets really lonely to hop in the car and do the drive for the weekend.

In college my best friend had a long distance relationship with a guy who lived in boston - they drove to see one another every other weekend - she said after a while the drive became nothing, and they became very used to it.

It is also not for that long really - only about 6 months right? Just get a phone with free long distance or a GOOD phone plan or those bills will quickly run up.

LisaT Posted: May 24, 2003 01:33 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

AL and I spent two years apart - him in CA and me in NY. It was before we got engaged though. In fact, he moved only a few months after we started dating, but it was really hard and definitely strained the relationship (we even gave up once, but that didn't last )

You won't be that far away though, and its only for a few months.

lulu Posted: May 24, 2003 02:36 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

Me and FI have lived apart for 5 YEARS. He was getting his PhD in Pittsburgh and he finally graduated this week!!!! It was definitley a long 5 years, but we made it through.

The first two years he had classes so we only saw each other every other weekend. For the past 3 years he's been doing independent research so his schedule has been very flexible He alternated about 2 weeks here and two weeks in Pittsburgh.

He got very used to the 7 hour drive and he probably drove it a few hundred times.

Even though it was hard at times, it really made us value our time together and never take it for granted.

julybride444 Posted: May 24, 2003 03:46 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

It's a little hard, but it also gives you time to focus on yourself, your friends and your schoolwork. My FH moved when we graduated college, first to D.C. for a year and then back to L.I. for a year. Those two years I stayed in Rochester, and only saw him once every 5-6 weeks. It was hard, but ok. I think it was easier on me than FH because I was sooo busy. It was actually good for us, we got to focus on ourselves, miss each other and look forward to seeing each other. Sometimes I think those two years make us appreciate each other more, even now.

P.S. I disagree with Robs-luvs-me, but it's just my opinion. I don't believe that you need to talk every night. Give each other some space once in a while. Your schedules may not accomodate that and that expectation can be added stress. See what your schedules fit, but don't sacrifice school or make him feel chained to a phone, IMO.

Good luck.

prncssrachel Posted: May 24, 2003 07:28 PM

Re: For those of you who live far away from your FH....

Thanks for sharing your stories girls! We actually started our relationship this way. When I first met him he was going to school in Boston, and I was still in school on Long Island, and I used to see him every other weekend and it wasn't that bad. But he couldn't afford to go back to school the next year and ended up living back on Long Island. Then this past year, he needed to go back and finish school in Boston since none of his credits would transfer here, and we decided that we didn't want to be apart, and I went with him. It worked out well because I got my student teaching done by teaching in a private school and he is almost done with school, so great things came of it, but now, I need to go back to LI to find a teaching job. So I think I will be so busy that the time will pass quickly. Whew! That was almost my life's story! But again, thank you! I just like to know when I am feeling down that I am not in the boat alone!