For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

Recently I have started to feel really weird. The fact that I will no longer be living with my family, no longer have my own room, my own section, my own space. Except for when I was in college, I have lived with my family all my life and a little under 8 months from now my living arrangements will change forever. No more my sister screaming at me from her room, or my mom yelling at us from the bottom of the stairs for dinner. No more seeing my dad come home from the gym at night and talking to him while he eats his salad. No more helping my parents unpack the groceries or walking both dogs in the morning. No more lets go out to dinner or lunch because my mom doesn't feel like cooking. It will soon be we only go out to dinner for the special occasions with my family.
I know it seems silly and I talk to FH about this all the time. A part of me doesn't want to let go of my childhood. Sometimes I cry about it. I sit on the floor and look around my room at all my things. Memories I have had since I was a baby. I still have my first dress I wore when I was released from the hospital. I also think about what will I take with me when I move in with FH.

Don't get me wrong I love FH to death, he is my soul mate, my best friend. But the thought of leaving the comfort of my home is the scariest thing for me. I think I am more scared about this than I was when I studied abroad an entire summer in France and went by myself to a new place. If anything, my parents were more worried about me.

Then I get all excited at the fact we will be with each other everyday for the rest of our lives... To wake up next to him every morning makes me smile when I think about it. When I imagine all the memories we will share in our place makes me smile.

I think that since we are having a long engagement and all the big vendors are booked, I have more time to think about things. The thing is is FH doesn't really understand too much as we are going to live in his parents basement. We will have our own amenities but its stilll under the roof that he lives in now. None of my friends can really relate b/c they are either way past the newleywed stage or still live at home with their folks. My MOH is married and lives with her parents so she has no idea why I feel this way.

Is anyone else feeling weird like me?

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

You are NOT alone. I am 27 and except for college, I have lived in my house since I was brought home from the hospital. One of my bridesmaids lives down the block and we met in kindergarten. Yes, I know what you are feeling. So many of us brides who are leaving mom and dad know how you feel and share it with you. We would be cold and heartless if we didn't get misty-eyed about leaving our safe havens. I still can't accept that I will be moving out of my shoebox sized room I complained about all of childhood.

Don't worry, you can comiserate with me. I understand and am feeling it too.

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

You are definetly not alone. I feel the same way at times. It is going to be a big transition...but we will be o.k.

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

I ahd the same feeling when my FH and I moved into our apartment together, I just visited alot to make the transistion easier.

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

I think about this ALL the time. I am 25 and went away to college and away to law school and now live away from home for a one year clerkship i am doing...HOWEVER, my childhood house has always been my 'home base.' I have always gone home at least every other weekend and have always lived at home over the summers. I LOVE being home. I have a big family (four kids) and I love the way it feels when we are all home together!

The way I deal with it is to think that things really don't have to change all that much. We will be living relatively near my home and I plan to visit just as often. I even told my FH that i may want to spend the night at home sometimes. He thinks I am crazy, and I am sure i will grow out of this but, for now, it makes me feel better

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

I'm at home too! And I get totally upset about leaving them. I LOVE MY FAMILY SO MUCH! I'm leaving the state when I get married and I can't believe they won't be there everyday We've been in this house for the last 17 years and I have so many memories in here! I don't believe that this is it! Less than 10 months and I'm outta here forever! Sometimes it doesn't even hit me! My sister will be taking over my room (a room we shared for over 14 years!) No more playing with the kitty everyday or listening to my dad snore lol (well that I could do without!) lol

I'm thrilled to be with FI - I can't wait to have a home with him and be together everyday! (We've never had that since we live in 2 different states ) But sometimes I just wish we could move down the block from my parents

Luckily, FI LOVES my family and they LOVEEEEEEEE him - so with plenty of phone calls and visits, we'll both make it through!

to me and you girls going through this!

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

You are totally not alone. It has been my mom and I alone for 10 years since my sister moved out with her hubby and my mom and I have been through so much together and she is going to be alone (parents divorced) i think aboiut it all the time but the one good thing for me is its not my house that i am so much attatched to b/c we only moved here in1999 its more leaving my mom that upsets me. i know i will only be living 15 minutes frim her but its hard. I guess I jus have to acccept it nd realize that i am starting a new part of my life and that it will be wotth b/c I will be married and starting my own family in a few years.

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

Olgaki!! OMG you just made me laugh and choke on my water I was drinking reading your post. My father is the WORST and LOUDEST snorer. Sometimes my poor mother has to go to the den and sleep or sleeps with my sister (I have a twin bed so she can't come to my room) b/c she can't take it. Sometimes he is so bad that I can hear him in my room with my door and their door closed. And he claims he doesn't snore. My mom makes fun of him b/c he sometimes wakes himself up with the snoring and says what happened? LMAO!!

Kysha we have talked about this a few times and I think about it more and more as the days go by. I am glad I am not alone in feeling this way. My sister is already talking about what she will do with my room. Then my father tells her he already has his own plans.

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

They'll miss you - I know my parents are. I catch my mom coming to tuck me in at night and giving me a kiss - I know she'll miss all of that and so will I. Ohhhhhh to mommies out there losing their babies

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

Wanda: OMG, i thought I was alone. I feel the same way! I have always lived with my mom and knowing that we won't be living together anymore (even though sometimes we fight and she gets psycho) I'm going to miss her sooo much. I have cried over this also and sometimes I feel bad fighting with her b/c I feel like I should really enjoy these last few months of living together.
Fh also lives with his parents but he says he can't wait to leave. But I'm sure deep down inside he feels the same way we do.

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

OH God you girls sounds like Karina.

Like I tell Karina...Live life and have fun.

I completely understand where you girls are coming from but its a whole new wonderful experience that you are going to love. Yes it will take some time getting use to but you should be excited about the future and whats to come.

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

i've already moved out, but i hated it when i did it and i still hate it now. i go back to visit about every 6 weeks (i live in va otherwise i'd go back more). whenever i'm in my room i get all nostalgic for those fun high school days. so don't feel too bad. everyone goes through this. it's really big life change, it's totally understandable to be anxious and sad about it. but eventually you'll have your own kids and your own traditions etc and everything will be fine. enjoy the time left at mom and dad's and don't forget to visit them often once you leave!

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

I totally understand. Not so much about leaving home b/c I haven't lived with my family for many years now (although I still live in my old house in the apt upstairs but my family doesn't live downstairs...it is rented)

I'm so afraid of giving up my space. FOr so long it has been my stuff and I'm not sure how to 'move over' and make room for FH..Even though he is there every day and night, he doesn't actually LIVE there, all of his clothes and things are NOT there..sometimes I get scared but mostly I'm excited.......We'll see in 45 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

I moved out of my parents house when I was 21. I loved my family, but I couldn't wait to be on my own. But I didn't move too far and came back to visit all the time. Every Saturday I came for dinner and to do my laundry! I bought a co-op apt 13 yrs ago. I put it up for sale this year and moved in with fi. Well I'm closing on the apt today. Tuesday night I had to go clean out the few things I had left there. I stood in that empty apartment and cried like a baby. I guess it's just the thought that I don't have 'my place' anymore. Fi has a house and I took over one of the rooms as my own. I put my childhood things in there, computer, sewing machine, etc. So I still have my own room, and a place to go when I need a little privacy. I feel sad to give up my own place but when I walk out of that closing today with the big check in my hand I think I'll get over it!

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

you are totally not alone!!! i feel the exact same way as all of you girls...i live at home now & to think in less than 2 months i will be moving gets me upset in a way...(i am actually crying right now)...
don't get me wrong, i am so excited to marry FH and finally live together, but at the same time i feel sad for my parents in a way...it's hard to explain...

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

Don't get me wrong my family drives me up a wall sometimes! I could ring my sister's neck. But then I miss them to death when they aren't around. That is life.
I am glad it is normal to feel this way though. And it wasn't just me.

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

Leap Don't cry!!
Who am I talking, I was tearing up when I read everyone's posts!
I know its an adjustment we will all have to make once in our lifetime. And when we do, it will be for the best.

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

thanks wanda...

i think only us girls here on LIW know how we all feel...

Re: For those that don't live with FH-I am feeling weird... long

I have lived alone for 8 years and although we are together most of the week, I still have my few days of alone time, which I kind of like. I think its just a matter of adjusting to being with someone else 24x7. I know for myself that it has been a little stressful because although we are not techinically living together, he has a lot of his stuff around my small apt. and he'll start talking about how he wants to put up this speaker on the wall and that stereo system over there, etc... Its freaking me out a little bit, but we will have to compromise and get used to each other. This is exciting as much as it is scary