Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

What a great topic? We stress out everyday thinking about $$$$. FH and I are paying 100% ourselves and it is nice to hear that there are others in the same situation.

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

Too bad there isn't like, oh, I don't know..like a share program for wedding stuff. You know, like if you wanted candle holders you could borrow them from a place and in turn you had to make available something you brought for your wedding after your big day. Like for little things that always seem to add up...flower girl baskets, ring bearer pillows, card holder boxes, tiaras, ...
I know...the idea is not realistic but it seems that anything that has the word 'wedding' attached to it has its price jacked up 250%! Its crazy and it can get really out of hand!

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

It is very stressful when we total it all up BUT I really wanted this wedding at it is worth every single penny to me. We got some $$$ for e-gifts but since we paid for 1/2 of the party, it pretty much just broke us even. We have saved the past 1 1/2 years for the wedding. It is not always easy because I am NOT a great saver, I totally admit that. We got an unexpected $1K from my dad and stepmom to pay for our invitations which did help us out, and they also paid for my gown/headpiece/veil. We also did not wait until the last minute to purchase BP gifts, ring pillow, wedding bands etc...those 'little' things add up very quickly. So far we are in good shape. We will be one of our vendors on a credit card, but we will have the money to pay that off right after the wedding. And that is because we need the cash for tips.
Now, if you ask my FH he would say he stresses over money much more than I do. That is just our personalities.

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

What I have been doing lately is purchasing the little things with my allowance as I call it. We each get a weekly allowance and I use some of mine to by some of the little things so the bigger items for the wedding fall in the wedding budget.

Example: I budgeted $100 for the programs. I have bought the resume paper, photo paper for under $20 with my own money without affecting the amount alloted for the programs. This is the way I bought my unity candle, ring pillow, e-party invites and thank you cards, candle holders and some other stuff.

Since I can't afford to go shopping for myself, I replace it with shopping for the wedding! Besides the fact that I am becoming a Michael's addict too

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

What a totally timely topic for me. FH and I have been crunching numbers...we literally down to counting the differences in vendors in terms of $100-$300. I am a spender and he is a saver...I am an optimist and he is a pessimist. I think everything will be fine and he thinks disaster looms every second (re this wedding). Mind you, we have only booked the florist (Burton's, THANKS girls...great rec!) and that was a $50 deposit. We have made two payments toward the hall, but he is totally freaking. This week I am going to run up a spreadsheet to allay his fears...but it looks as if we are going to have to either put more money away than we already are, or one or both of us is going to have to get second jobs....I lie awake nights worried about this, girls....

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

if only someone were to pay for my hall, the rest would be such a breeze it's not even funny!
the hall is the killer

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

Oh man, if someone were to pay for my hall I would have everything else paid for already!

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

I agree Jenn I just went over out budget again and even cutting back on a milion things doenst help because the hall and honeymoon are just not cheap things

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

We are okay so far, we have started early with everything so we saved a bundle, but it is very overwhelming at times and those people that act like they have a choice of what to have at your wedding, it is like, hello? Are you paying for it or me and FH?

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

It is so difficult. But weirdly enough, as it gets closer, the stress of the money goes away a bit. I have found anyway. Not sure why. Maybe you realize that you are too deep in and there's nothing you can do about it!

One thing I did, is tried to pay for as much as possible from my weekly paycheck. We didnt' charge anything - and I made tiny deposits towards vendors every month. (But make sure that you don't pay towards a vendor that you may want to cancel!) Good luck and try to relax. It's money well spent, just try to focus on where you can cut back to relieve the stress.

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

I can relate to all of you!! I am a stressed out mess!! We are also paying 100% ourselves. I am the worrier, my FI is not. His theory is everything will work out. I know that it will....but for right now, I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hate that I have to count every little penny when I do things. I was never like that. But if I don't, I will regret not having everything that I truly want on my wedding day.

Hang in there ladies...the end result is well worth the stress!!

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

We are paying for our wedding/reception/honeymoon ourselves, too! It's great to read everyone's tips for $$$ crunching.

Like someone else mentioned, we declared 0 on W2...helped a bit. FH and I have also picked up as much overtime work as possible for the past year +. That really helped-we were able to save our regular pay checks and use the OT $ for wedding stuff.

Most of our vendors were accomodating with payment plans. We set them up so each month we were paying a small portion to one vendor-one month reception hall, one month photographer, etc. I found it easier to deal with the small bites than with a big $$$ hit.

We shopped all of our vendors for quality as well as for price. There are lots of wedding vendors here on LI and they all want your business! We were able to negotiate $ with everyone.

I used to stress about the money more-with two weeks left before the big day, I've learned to relax a bit. When all is said and done, we'll all be so happy for having a wonderful wedding day and for marrying the man of our dreams.

Good luck and remember to have fun with your planning!!!

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

Thank goodness, I am not the only one.

Gone are the days when your parents pay for everything.

My wedding is in September03 and I am stressed beyond stressed, I cannot sleep either. I put down a couple payments on my hall. I purchased my dress. I am still looking for a photographer and DJ.
I have been trying to save every little cent. I try to economize by bringing lunch, I have pretty much given up my social life with the exception of the occasional movie.

I think I am going to order the little things ahead of time like favors, accessories to get them out of the way.

I am also thinking of getting a second job, though I so do not want to.

Please keep the suggestions coming.

Re: For those who are paying for their wedding...

We are paying for it all ourselves. Its stressful as anything and its the only thing we argue about. He says I worry too much and nothings too good for me. But even for a small wedding like mine there are so many things to buy and pay for ... I confess I am worried and as I am self employed I am stressing like mad at the minute over my late paying clients