For those who are the middle child within your siblings
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For those who are the middle child within your siblings
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
I'm the oldest. I would think that if you had 4 kids and they were say, 11,10,6 and 1 that the 11 and 10 year old would be close and the 6 year old would be the 'middle child'. So you could wind up with a middle child anyway, or 2 or 4. I would also think it depends on the parents and how they treat all their kids.
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
Posted by Nora101004
I would also think it depends on the parents and how they treat all their kids.
I think this is huge...I see my SIL treating her middle child son VERY differently then the youngest...the mother will always tell the son to give the younger one whatever she wants...hes a good kid and lets it roll off...but I am sure its frustrating for him...(I try to give him extra attention when I go there)
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
I'm the middle child, and have no issues with it at all. I think it puts me in the unique poisition to control all sides ![]()
I'm very close to both my sisters, closer than they are to each other.
As far as age ranges, we're 31, 29 & 20 - so I was the baby for 9 years.
I certainly never felt like I was in any way discriminated against because of my position in the family. My older sister and I are so close in age (18mths), that we did everything together growing up and in some ways I sometimes felt like the older sister.
There are definitely differences in the way the older 2 of us were raised compared to the youngest. My parents had mellowed alot by the time she was a teenager, so she got away with much more then we did.
I'm very close to both my sisters, closer than they are to each other.
As far as age ranges, we're 31, 29 & 20 - so I was the baby for 9 years.
I certainly never felt like I was in any way discriminated against because of my position in the family. My older sister and I are so close in age (18mths), that we did everything together growing up and in some ways I sometimes felt like the older sister.
There are definitely differences in the way the older 2 of us were raised compared to the youngest. My parents had mellowed alot by the time she was a teenager, so she got away with much more then we did.
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
Middle child here and I can say that all my childhood experiences growing up were AWFUL. I was definitely treated VERY differently from the other kids...
Just a side note-we're an even number of children in my family. There are 4 of us-2 middle children. My situation is a little different though-I'm the third youngest. I have 2 older sisters and a brother who is a year younger. One reason why I was neglected was because my parents wanted a boy by the time I came around and they were disappointed I was another girl. I only had 3 months of being the 'baby' by the time my mother was pregnant again.
I can say this though...when I have children, I can swear til the end of time that I will treat all of them equally.
I don't want to really get into why I was treated differently because it's painful for me to discuss but Kathy, feel free to email me!
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Just a side note-we're an even number of children in my family. There are 4 of us-2 middle children. My situation is a little different though-I'm the third youngest. I have 2 older sisters and a brother who is a year younger. One reason why I was neglected was because my parents wanted a boy by the time I came around and they were disappointed I was another girl. I only had 3 months of being the 'baby' by the time my mother was pregnant again.
I can say this though...when I have children, I can swear til the end of time that I will treat all of them equally.
I don't want to really get into why I was treated differently because it's painful for me to discuss but Kathy, feel free to email me!
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I'm a middle child and I came out just fine! *lol* - actually its a little unique - i am the middle of two boys - so i never really had middle child syndrome....We all pretty much lucked out - my older brother was the 'oldest' ...I was the only girl and my younger brother was teh 'little' one...
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
I was the middle child growing up and I am totally in agreement with your DH. I hated being a middle child in an odd numbered family. Here is my number one reason to have an even number of kids:
Going the the amusement park, there will always be somebody to ride with you, nobody is ever left out.
I hated going when we were kids. One of us was always left out and it stunk!!! I know it may sound dumb but there are other reasons I want an even number too. Just can't think of them right now. But that was number one!!!
Going the the amusement park, there will always be somebody to ride with you, nobody is ever left out.
I hated going when we were kids. One of us was always left out and it stunk!!! I know it may sound dumb but there are other reasons I want an even number too. Just can't think of them right now. But that was number one!!!
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
Sorry, I'm with your DH on this. There's not a lot of logic to my reasons, but I'd rather have an even number of children. Most (I say that word emphatically) middle children I know have had various problems/issues growing up and I just wouldn't want to open my children up to that. I just think an even number is better than odd. It's weird.
As far as my personal experience goes, I'm an only child. It was great until my dad died, now it frightens me that it's just me and my mom. Families are meant to be bigger than that. As a result, I'd love two children so it could be the four of us.
As far as my personal experience goes, I'm an only child. It was great until my dad died, now it frightens me that it's just me and my mom. Families are meant to be bigger than that. As a result, I'd love two children so it could be the four of us.
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
Well I'm the oldest of 4 (an even number) But it's three girls and one boy.....so I'm the oldest, my brother is the only boy and my youngest sister of course is the 'little one' - the 'baby' and then my oher sister.......the middle child!!! And yes she says it!! I don't think she was treated differently, etc. but she says it all the time!! So you never know where even numbers will get you! I actually think she was given more than the rest....lol go figure!!!!
GOOD LUCK!!
GOOD LUCK!!
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
My DH has three younger brothers and there is definetely preferential treatment.
My DH is clearly the favorite, the youngest one is the baby and the two in the middle are a year apart.
I do not know what it is but growing up I think they were always compared to DH and it really got to them. To this day these two are very rebellious and somewhat distance themselves from the family.
Kathy, I do agree with you that it is def the way you raise them.
My DH is clearly the favorite, the youngest one is the baby and the two in the middle are a year apart.
I do not know what it is but growing up I think they were always compared to DH and it really got to them. To this day these two are very rebellious and somewhat distance themselves from the family.
Kathy, I do agree with you that it is def the way you raise them.
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Its funny that you posted this because I just did an hour long presentation in school on Adlerian therapy, he was big on the birth order stuff. First off, let me say I am one of FIVE, my older sis is the middle, she is a very happy, well adjusted person, she does not suffer from any middle child syndrome, but let me just add that in order for the child to be a true middle child, there must not be a difference of more than three years between the children, for example if you have a son who is 6 and a daughter who is 4 and then you wait five years to have three more children there will be more than three years, so then a sub group will form.. and your next born child who would appear to be a middle child would fall into the oldest child category ..does that make any sense? So if you wanted to plan it so none of your children have that syndrome you were talking about, plan it so there is more than three years difference. Its crazy, not what I necessairily believe, but thats what alot of theories say.
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
Posted by AtticaQT
I'm a middle child and I came out just fine! *lol* - actually its a little unique - i am the middle of two boys - so i never really had middle child syndrome....We all pretty much lucked out - my older brother was the 'oldest' ...I was the only girl and my younger brother was teh 'little' one...
WOW - that is EXACTLY my life!
However, I will add that DH and I have already discussed birth order, and I feel strongly about not having an 'odd' number of children. If we could afford to have 4, I would love it...but, we may just stop at two and be happy.
ETA...Alicia - that is very interesting b/c in my family, there is only 24 months between my older brother and I, BUT there is 5 years between my younger brother and I. I have always said that my younger brother is like a different family almost...my parents marriage was so different by the time he came along....everything about our lives was so different, that his childhood experiences were nothing like my brother's and mine were....so, I can definitely understand your point regarding the theories...
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
Thanks Alicia!
Now my husband is the oldest and he has 2 sisters. The middle child is about 2 years younger and the younger sister is another 2 years. I have to say out of my own experience up to date that the middle one is still going through issues.
DH up to now have planned to adopt a child, we really want to adopt a baby girl from China. We have talked about adoption since we started dating. I would like 2 of my own and the third adopted. I want to treat all equally but I guess that there will always be something.
I guess I will have to wait until the time come and see what God wants for us.
Thanks you girls all for sharing!![]()
Now my husband is the oldest and he has 2 sisters. The middle child is about 2 years younger and the younger sister is another 2 years. I have to say out of my own experience up to date that the middle one is still going through issues.
DH up to now have planned to adopt a child, we really want to adopt a baby girl from China. We have talked about adoption since we started dating. I would like 2 of my own and the third adopted. I want to treat all equally but I guess that there will always be something.
I guess I will have to wait until the time come and see what God wants for us.
Thanks you girls all for sharing!
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
DH is the middle child of 3. not sure if it is good or bad, but he is definitely the mediator of the family - always the one to compromise and want to make other people happy, keeping the peace. although it is good now, i am sure as i child it might have been burdensome.
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Its funny because I told my FH the same thing that your DH said. I am the youngest so honestly I will admit that I was spoiled. My brother aka the middle child had such middle child syndrome but honestly not becuase of how he was treated. He was sick when he was young (almost died 2x by the age of 7) so he was ALWAYS my moms favorite, but he was just born with the mc(middle child) chip on his shoulder and still to this day he remembers things that didnt happen (I can say that because I was there) he thinks he was 'neglected' and that My other brother was favored because he was the oldest and I was favored because I was the youngest and the only girl but honestly he was always the favored child (still is) by my mom!
Also I can say that my oldest brother and I were very close growing up despite that age gap. Currently we are 36, 33 and 24, you would think my brothers being only 3 years apart would be close but they werent. Years later my middle brother told me he resented the relationship that me and my older borther had because he felt left out.
B/c of my exp I want either 2 or 4 kids there will be no ending at 3 unless it cant be helped!
Side note, FI is youngest of 3 and his family doesnt seem to have a middle child issue, although in my eyes the middle child is the most independent and outspoken of the 3 so maybe that is why!
Also I can say that my oldest brother and I were very close growing up despite that age gap. Currently we are 36, 33 and 24, you would think my brothers being only 3 years apart would be close but they werent. Years later my middle brother told me he resented the relationship that me and my older borther had because he felt left out.
B/c of my exp I want either 2 or 4 kids there will be no ending at 3 unless it cant be helped!
Side note, FI is youngest of 3 and his family doesnt seem to have a middle child issue, although in my eyes the middle child is the most independent and outspoken of the 3 so maybe that is why!
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
great question.
I am the quintessential middle child...and I do think it has a lot do with the genders as well. We are three sisters, 8 years between me and my older sister and 3.5 between me and my younger sister.
My mom and dad did a wonderful job in parenting, but in retrospect I think that the kind of person I am now really had a lot to do with being a middle child. I have a tendency to be a little too yielding. And I definitely remember having to exhibit that when I was a child. I had to let a lot of things 'not bother me'. My older sister was the 'older sister' and the little one was 'the baby'. I dont' think I ever really got the chance to be either one. My temparement is very easy-going, which may seem like a great trait, but has actually gotten me into many situations that I would rather not be in....it took me a long time to learn the word 'no' and to demand attention when I need it.
There is sort of a lack of identity I guess in the end. Though I wouldn't trade my situation - or my sisters...for the world.
I am the quintessential middle child...and I do think it has a lot do with the genders as well. We are three sisters, 8 years between me and my older sister and 3.5 between me and my younger sister.
My mom and dad did a wonderful job in parenting, but in retrospect I think that the kind of person I am now really had a lot to do with being a middle child. I have a tendency to be a little too yielding. And I definitely remember having to exhibit that when I was a child. I had to let a lot of things 'not bother me'. My older sister was the 'older sister' and the little one was 'the baby'. I dont' think I ever really got the chance to be either one. My temparement is very easy-going, which may seem like a great trait, but has actually gotten me into many situations that I would rather not be in....it took me a long time to learn the word 'no' and to demand attention when I need it.
There is sort of a lack of identity I guess in the end. Though I wouldn't trade my situation - or my sisters...for the world.
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
I'm a middle child... aka... the forgotten child. I would never want to have 3 kids just because of this fact. It really does stink... so we'll probably only have 2 kids.
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
I am a middle child and I think I turned out pretty normal! I think my parents tried really hard to treat us all the same. I am extremely close with my mom and dad and my brother & sister. I think it has a lot to do with the parents. I have a certain relative who has 2 kids and 1 is so blatantly favored over the other, everyone sees and talks about it.
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Re: For those who are the middle child within your siblings
I am the oldest of 3, my brother who's the middle child insists that he has middle child syndrome. LOL, but he jokes around. We were actually talking about this yesterday with my parents.
My parents tried to treat us all the same, however, my mother admitted to giving my middle bro a little more TLC as to avoid him feeling neglected. But all in all, we were treated fairly!
Whoever said it depends on the parents and the way they raise 3 kids, I couldn't agree with you more!!!
PS - I want to have 3 kids too!
Good luck!![]()
My parents tried to treat us all the same, however, my mother admitted to giving my middle bro a little more TLC as to avoid him feeling neglected. But all in all, we were treated fairly!
Whoever said it depends on the parents and the way they raise 3 kids, I couldn't agree with you more!!!
PS - I want to have 3 kids too!
Good luck!
