Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

OK- I`m really freaking out..... I went to my FIRST reception hall yesterday and I left a $500 deposit. I have been looking on the internet at reception locations, but I was in the neighborhood of this particular place and just stopped by. Now I feel like I`m in a dilemma. I`m not sure if I got a good price, and personally I feel it`s a tad bit expensive. I didnt haggle at all and no extras were thrown in. I didn`t sleep at all last night and when I did nod off, I was having nightmares. The price per head is $85 without tax and an 18% gratuity charge and that is for a Sunday night wedding in October. And to top it all off, my church said they can`t perform a Nuptual Mass, they can only do a quick ceremony since its a Sunday and there are 7 masses. I received my Communion and Confirmation at this church as well as teaching religion instructions for two years. My mom is also a faithful parishoner and has also taught religion for 6 years. Now, what should I do? The deposit was made and I now have a $17,000 wedding (and that`s JUST the catering hall) to deal with. Can I cancel since it was only yesterday? Should I look around at other places? Can I get extras thrown in for free? What would YOU do????ANY help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!!!!1

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

Well, for a Friday night in August we're paying $75 per head I think the same gratuity. But we don't have to tip anyone but the Maitre D'. I thought it would be cheaper in October. I would look around. I looked at a lot of halls on the internet also since I'm in NC. The first place we went to was the one we picked. It's beautiful. That's very weird of the church not to do the wedding the way you want??? Especially since you've been there for a long time? You might want to consider a Friday, or Saturday wedding. Are you choosing a Sunday for any particular reason???

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

The date is Sunday October 13th, and the reason I thought it was a good idea was it's Columbus Day weekend and alot of people will have Monday off. If I look around, and find a better deal, how do I get back the $500 deposit?

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

If you love the place, try to be flexible with the date. Maybe Friday night of that same weekend might save some money pp. Also go back in and tell them your dilemma, that for X amount of dollars what can they throw in for you. If your stuck on the date, try to see if they will lower your minumum. If you don`t love the hall, and want to continue looking around I don`t think they should have a problem returning your deposit. Especially since it`s only been a day. Our hall gave us a 5 day grace period in case we wanted to change our minds. Is it for October of this year?

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

Thats probably about right. I've found that October is a very popular month now. We're paying $75 (Plus tax & Grat)for a Saturday night in Oct. So if you are next year, it might be more. Also, re: the church. Weddings are scheduled around the regular masses. You can't change that. There are much less masses on Saturday and they still made sure our wedding wouldn't be too close to one of them.

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

You can get the money back. Any reputable hall will refund your money especially within 24 hours. Call them and ask. In fact, there`s a 72-hour (I believe) period where you can cancel the contract. By the way,I`m getting married this October 7th, the Sunday before Columbus Day - we also thought many people would be off Monday so our response rate should be high. Good luck!!

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

Since it was just yesterday, it should be no problem to cancel. I believe a contract is non-binding for 48 hours so the sooner you call, the better. And they have no right to keep your $500. The price you got may or may not be high, it depends on the place and what you are getting. Still, if you feel you were too impetuous, it doesn`t hurt to shop around or chat with people more on what to ask for when you go looking. Alot of places will put pressure on to get a deposit on the spot. As for the church, try not to be offended by their not being able to do a mass. Sundays are hard to accommodate, like you said they have multiple mass services and it`s a given that the weekly schedule for the entire parish cannot be changed for one wedding. No offense, I know it is your special day but it helps to put it in perspective. When you get a prospective date for a hall, call your church to see if they can accommodate a mass or just to be sure there is not another wedding already. Lastly, whether you consider yourself good at haggling or not, never be afraid to ask for additions or changes to what is offered to you. The worst they can do is refuse. Try not to stress yourself over this. This should be a fun time and not a time that makes you want to pull your hair out. Good luck.

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

If the reception hall is in Suffolk, you will get your deposit back, if its Nassau County, you might not be so lucky, but it doesn't hurt to ask

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

The reason why the church cannot do a mass on Sunday is probably because they also have evening masses. Thus, it leaves you little time for a full Nuptial Mass. Since you probably know the priest, you can talk directly to him about trying to do a shorter mass or having just a ceremony. The only thing left out is the Eucharist. Also, since you just left your deposit yestaurday, you may be able to change the day on which you get married. The price sounds OK off hand, but you should get the magazine that lists the prices for each hall (I think it is Long Island Weddings of Distinction) to see what range of prices that particular catering hall charges. I know this is a difficult situation, but since you are just at the beginning of your planning, this is not a total mess regardless of what you decide to do. Talk to the Priest and to the Catering hall. I am sure you will work something out.

What catering hall is it? *NM*

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG) *** First Calm Down

Remember the catering hall is a business. They want Happy Customers. If you are set on canceling I would call right away and let them know that you church is not available and that you will need to consider other options. A few things to think about: First the ceremony *What is more importatnt to you and your fiance a Nuptual Mass or that particular date. If a Nuptual Mass is a must have for you, start with the available dates/time at your church and work from there. Second the Reception Site *The price may be ok, Oct is a popular month. You could probably find a more economical site but think about what is important to you and your fiance. What did you love about this site? We saw about six places and decided on one because we love the atmosphere and it has a wonderful reputation. Good Luck

brianna

don`t stress. call the catering hall and say that you really like the place, but are afraid that you jumped into things too quickly. tell them that your parents want to see the place as well and they are away for 2 weeks. if you left the deposit by check or credit card, dont worry - you can always cancel the check or call your credit card company for a refund. did you sign a contract? does it say it is refundable? make sure that deposits are refundable in the future. we booked lands end and paid a portion of the cost already, but if something were to happen and we need to cancel at least 6 months before our planned date, they will refund all the $$$. shop around to do a comparison and educate yourself as to the 'standards that are included.' you are paying them and they should work w/ you. we didn`t haggle, but there is no harm in trying. definitly call the place either today and tomorrow and explain your situation. if they are unwilling to work w/ you, then maybe that isn`t the place you want to have your wedding. if you did not sign a contract then it is non-binding. you gave them a deposit to hold the date, but if amount of time was not agreed upon (to cancel) for both parties, then it is not binding and you are entitled to your money back. reasonable time is 48 hours (depending on the circumstances.) i highly doubt that someone came in betweeen the time you left and now and wanted to book the same exact date as you. by law, you have the right to receive your deposit back unless otherwise notes in a written contract signed by both parties!

brianna

All the prior advice sounds good. One thing you might also want to consider is checking with your church to find out what date they can accomodate the ceremony you want. If you know the reception site you left the deposit with is the place for you, regardless of price, then find out if the church`s available dates work with the reception hall and just have them switch the date for you. We weren`t able to book our date til we confirmed with my church that the date and time was open for us. The price you stated could be a fair price for that time of year, since it is so popular these days, but it would help knowing which place this is.

Freaking Out!!!! (LONG)

You could go for the beginning of November and save some money on the price. Most places discount starting in November and I think it's through March. My church wouldn't do a mass on Sunday either. Try for a Saturday (if you go for an afternoon receiption it will be less than a Saturday night). Good luck!